Shortest and Longest Books

[MAS82587]

what would be some of the shortest and longest books written by final fantasy characters?

Shortest
"Places I've smiled" -by Squall (fwd. by Cloud)
"Women I'm not attracted to" -by Irvine
"Chicken Soup for the Final Fantasy Soul" -by Shadow
"How to keep your gf from dying" -by Cloud

Longest
"The Art of Drag" -by Kuja

[Big D]

Shortest:

Retaining a Life-Long Focus on Your Chosen Career
by Cecil Harvey

101 Good Reasons to Become the Fayth for the Final Summoning
by Lady Yunalesca

Honesty, Truth and Dedication to Your People
by Grand Maester Mika

Amarant Coral: A Biography

Zidane Tribal's Guide to Morality

Fashion Sense
by Kefka Palazzo

Longest:

Black is the New Black
by Lulu

The Art of Hurt
by "Dr P"

Men Can Multi-Task Too, Sometimes
by Reeve

Fashion Sense
by Rufus Shinra

All Your Materia Are Belong To Us
by Yuffie Kisaragi

:D
Interesting topic, MAS82587. This should be interesting - and fun.

[MAS82587]

yea i just hope people respond

[Captain Maxx Power]

Shortest:

-Advance Battle Tactics
A. Goblin

-Can you REALLY resurrect Aeris?(Hint: it's one word, two letters, begins with N ends with O).
A. C. Liar

-How to get the most out of your party
Dorgan

Longest:

-Teenage Angst and Pain
S. Lionheart

-The Psychology of the mind
S. Roth

-Studies of Timeloop and other Temporal Anomalies
G. Arland

[Big D]

-How to get the most out of your party
DorganWhich game is he from again?

-Studies of Timeloop and other Temporal Anomalies
G. ArlandIs he the author of the best-seller, Knocking Down Fools Who Touch Your Princess - For Dummies?

[Xander]

Hehe, this topic is funny, I love yours Big D. I can't think of any right now though..maybe later.

[ThroneofDravaris]

Longest-

Straight men I’ve turned
Sephiroth

Why I’ll NEVER be back
Alic Baldwin

People I hate
Kefka


Shortest-

My Life
Aeris Gainsborough

FFX-2: Complete Walkthrough
Someone who could be bothered

Men who look me in the eye
Tifa Lockeheart

Founded reasons why FF8 sucked.
F. U. All

[The Man]

-How to get the most out of your party
DorganWhich game is he from again?FF5. He's Batz's father, if memory serves. Spelled "Drogan" in the official translation, I think.


Shortest:

101 Good Reasons to Become the Fayth for the Final Summoning
by Lady Yunalesca

Honesty, Truth and Dedication to Your People
by Grand Maester Mika

Zidane Tribal's Guide to Morality

Longest:

Black is the New Black
by Lulu

All Your Materia Are Belong To Us
by Yuffie Kisaragi

:D
Interesting topic, MAS82587. This should be interesting - and fun.
rofl.

It's too early in the morning for me to come up with anything memorable for this topic, sorry.

[MAS82587]

Men who look me in the eye
by tifa lockheart

lmfao

[I Don't Need A Name]

Shortest:
How to kill a goblin (attack....the end)
Aeris the autobiography (blood splats....the end)
Longest:
Thongs are the in thing-Yunalesca
How to survive blowing yourself up- Cid
How to destroy a gun by locking yourself in the room with it, and surviving-Yang

[RedCydranth]

Short:

Horn Maintenance And You
Kimahri Ronso

How To Get Rid Of A Cold
Yang

The Plus Sides of Petrification: A Compilation
Palom, Porom and Blank

Proper Etiquette
Barret Wallace

Longest:

Dancing Made Easy
Mog

Engineering Your Submerging Domicile: A Do It Yourself Guide
Edgar R. Figaro

Final Fantasy Tactics
Alazam Durai

Chicken Soup for the Evil Tree
Ex-Death

[BlackRibon]

Shortest:
I don't know what would be the shortest!-myself

longest:
where is my eye?-Auron

[Snap Jumper]

Shortest:
A Spoony Bard's Guide to Killing Monsters

[Mittopotahis]

Shortest:

Our Memorable Quotes which don't contain curses - Compiled by C. Highwind, B. Wallace and Z. Dincht.
This book contains all the memorable quotes from Cid, Barret and Zell which don't contain swear words. This easy-to-read book, which includes size 18 font, and 2.5x spacing is guaranteed to be able to red by even the youngest of toddlers. Each author has 1 whole page of Quotes, devoted to themselves. A good waste of a minute!

Lionheart: An autobiography - By S. Leonheart This bool contains all the things Squall Leonheart found interesting in his life. This 22 page* autobiography is precise, and is the most detailed read you will find.
*22 pages includes 15 pages of pictures. SOme of these pictures are: People Squall know, places Squall has been, and an event, in which Squall may or may not been attending.

Longest:

Pick-up lines of Mine - by I. Kineas This book contains many pf the pick-up lines used by our very Irvine Kineas. This 1050 page book is a great read for those Irvine Lovers, people who are in need of a girl, or you just want to waste a year or two.

[rubah]

Long:
Mountain Climbing for the Undead: Auron
Horn Lengths and Their Influences on Male Ronso Life: Kimarhi Ronso

Short:
A Guide to More Personality: Bartz
How to Pick up Guys at Dances: Rinoa Heartilly

[KoShiatar]

Shortest-

My Life
Aeris Gainsborough



Piece of genius XD

[Magaso]

Short:
How to kill Things-Black Mage

How to make your game seem like a Parody of Star Wars-Emperor Palmecia

How to be Spoony-Edward

Guide to Being a NPC-TaT guy.

Long
Girls I've hitted on-Edgar Figaro

How to get Crappy Swords-Gilgamesh

How to live with only Your hand alive-Goblez

[SeeDRankLou]

Longest:

Hair Gel and You
-Cloud Strife

Beauty Sleep and the Art of Hibernation
-Celes Chere, Vincent Valentine

Stick and Stones May Break My Bones, but Whips and Chains Are Sexy
-Quistis Trepe

How To Successfully Not Do Your Own Dirty Work
Sephiroth, Sorceress Ultimecia, Garland

Weapons? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Weapons!
Sabin Rene Figaro, Tifa Lockheart, Zell Dincht, Rikku....

Shortest:

CONVERSATION
-Fujin

Awesome Dye Jobs
-Paine, Seymour Guado, Terra Branford, Faris.....

You Use This Diet, You Lose Much Weight
-Quina Quen

101 Ways To Defeat Your Enemy
-Tonberry

Effective Ways To Make New Friends
-Squall Leonhart

[Mittopotahis]

How To Successfully Not Do Your Own Dirty Work
Sephiroth, Sorceress Ultimecia, Garland

Effective Ways To Make New Friends
-Squall Leonhart

CONVERSATION
-Fujin
Hahaha...I really liked those ones


101 Ways To Defeat Your Enemy
-Tonberry
It can't be that short if its 101 Ways.

[Armisael]

Longest:

Hair Gel and You
-Cloud Strife


Shortest:

CONVERSATION
-Fujin



Effective Ways To Make New Friends
-Squall Leonhart

xD!

[Loony BoB]

I loved the Fujin one. Buy the tape cassette and get a free forward by Ward.

[Destai]

Embracing the Godess within~ Kuja

[KoShiatar]

Shortest:

“The Modern Discussion About Bioethics”
by Prof. Hojo of Shinra – Foreword by Lucrecia V.

“How I Quit Smoking”
by Cid Highwind

“A Guide to Personality”
by FF1 Team

“Black Materia: An In-Depth Study Based On My Pre-Gaea Crater Observations”
by Cloud Strife

“How To Get The Girl Of Your Dreams”
by Kain Highwind and Vincent Valentine

Longest:

“Home-made Remedies Against Insomnia”
by Vincent Valentine

“The Problem Of Life After Death: Does Such a Thing Actually Exist?”
by Auron

“The Gentle Art of Making Enemies”
by various authors – Foreword by Garland

“Find Yourself”
by Cloud Strife

“The Midgets: A New Wonderful World Unveiled”
by FF3 team

“The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Thorough Analysis of a Masterwork From a Real Lover”
by Kuja

“The Revised and Improved Swearword Dictionary”
by B. Wallace, C. Highwind and Z. Dincht

“A Guide To Woman Self-Defense”
by Rydia and Yang’s Wife

[rubah]

I'm thinking destai's is classic xD

[Mittopotahis]

“The Revised and Improved Swearword Dictionary”
by B. Wallace, C. Highwind and Z. Dincht

Thats a cheap rip off of mine... :mad2:


Our Memorable Quotes which don't contain curses - Compiled by C. Highwind, B. Wallace and Z. Dincht.

:mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

[Destai]

I'm thinking destai's is classic xDaww shucks :skull3:

[Hikaro Takayama]

Longest:

Solving Problems Through Stabbity Means - Black Mage (8-Bit Theater reference)

Cowboy Action Shooting: A comprehensive guide to ammunition, guns, accessories and technique -Irvine Kinneas & Vincent Valentine

How to 'Lose' Friends and Alienate People -Various authors with FWD by Sephiroth

The Theory and Practice of Airship Design -Cid, Cid Highwind, Cid Fabool, Cid of the Al Bhed....

Shortest:

The Art of Sticking Pointy Things Into Fleshy Things: with 20 pages of easy to follow instructions and illustrations that even a brain-dead snail could understand -Fighter (Okay, I kinda ripped this one off from 8-Bit theater...)

Modest Fashion Designs for Ladies -Rosa, Rikku & Paine

Self-Discipline via Zen Meditation -Selphie Tilmitt

[RedCydranth]

Longest

How to completely forget childhood aquaintances
Squall, Irvine, Quistis, Selphie, Zell, Rinoa and Seifer

Knowledge of Spira
Maechen

Shortest

Love Thy Neighbor
Algus

The Many uses of The Proof Of Omega
Omega Weapon

[rubah]

The Theory and Practice of Airship Design -Cid, Cid Highwind, Cid Fabool, Cid of the Al Bhed....


You forgot Cid, Cid and possibly Cid.

(and let's not forget the ever famous. . .MID)

[Azure Chrysanthemum]

Differences between Thief and Treasure Hunter by Locke Cole. I'll leave that one up to the imagination as far as length is concerned.

[Doomie]

Shortest

Why I am NOT Ultimecia
Rinoa Heartily >>> A highly controversial book, which led to the making of this:

Why I AM Rinoa
Ultimecia

Longest

Patience is a Virtue
Shadow

Why being penetrated by something long isn't always a good thing.
Aeris Gainsborough

Plays

A big eye-ball in the sky named desire.
Kuja

Magazines

MAD Issue 9999: What me worry?
Quina

[Medi]

Longest:
What not to say - Chrono & Serge
How to be a time-compression traveling, evil, magical slut that lives in a floating castle - Ultimecia
How all the other Cids made fun of me because I don't know anything about airships - Cid Kramer
How to write a self-help book - FF6 team

Shortest:
How to not care - Squall
How to look and act like a girl - Kuja
How to be spoony - Edward
The days I haven't sworn - Barret

[Hikaro Takayama]

How all the other Cids made fun of me because I don't know anything about airships - Cid Kramer

:lol: Good one!!

Oh, and here's a couple more:

Longest:

The Path of Redemption -Cecil Baron, FWD by Gen. Beatrix

The Complete Materia Collectors Guide (with 320 pages of full color photographs and illustrations) -Yuffie Kisaragi, Introduction by Scarlett

The Art of Kicking A-- and Taking Names -Cidolfus Orlandu, General Beatrix, Cloud Strife, Squall Leonhart & Auron, FWD by Ruby Weapon

Shortest:

Archeological Finds in and Near Goug Machine City -Ramuza Beoulve

[Doomie]

The Art of Expressing Yourself.
Kimahri Ronso

[Loony BoB]

Longest? Hotdogs by Zell Dincht.

[Primus Inter Pares]

Shortest:

Reasons to be cheerful, by Sephiroth
Road to success, by Biggs and Wedge
Plausable shortcomings in FFIX, by random n00b
The similarty and correlation between the Spirits Within and FF games, by random n00b

Longest:

Why everyone has to die, by Kuja
Why chicks dig my tail, by Zidane
The reason chocobos should not be fed hot pepper, by Choco
Advanced Genome and Tail design For Dummies, by Garland
Why not to neuter your dog, by Rinoah
Climbing the ladder, by Kefka

[Azure Chrysanthemum]

Longest:

Chocobo Breeding by Aeris Gainsborough (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=72)

[The Man]

Longest:

Chocobo Breeding by Aeris Gainsborough (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=72)
That's beautiful.

[MAS82587]

Versatility by Umaro

[Christmas]

Longest:

Why I dun Wear Pants - Kuja
The Art Of Destroying - Kefka
My Mama And Me - Sephiroth

[beaglegod]

Short Books:

"My Diary"
by Aeris Gainsborough

"Things I Have in Common with Mike Tyson...Besides My Tatoo"
by Zell Dincht

"A begginers Guide to Cross Dressing"
by Cloud Strife


Long Books

"A begginers Guide to Cross Dressing"
by Squall Leonhart

[MushroomZOMBIE]

beaglegod-"A begginers Guide to Cross Dressing"
by Squall Leonhart

:lol: It doesn't make much sense,but it's funny to think about it!

[KuRt]

Short
Talk your problems out by S. Leonhart


Long
Frogs by Quina

1000 hints to play a vampire by Vincent Valentine

9999 great hints of getting ladies by Zidane

how to talk gently by princess Garnet til Alexandros

[PearlRose]

Shortest:

Armor Cleaning for Dummies
Adelbert Steiner

The Art of Standing Still
Zell Dincht

[Takara]

Shortest:

Fashion Sense for the Summoners Volume I: Colours and You
Rydia of Mist

[Wiegrahf42]

Longest:
Homophobia makes you look fat - Kuja

Your body and you...and the guy who controls it - Cloud Strife and Sephiroth

Proper haircare - Amarant Corel

Choosing Mascara - Steiner

Bill Clinton didn't put up with this crap! *ribbit* - Regent Cid

Anthology of my restraining orders - Zidane Tribal
Shortest:

Choosing the proper mate based on personality and shared interests - Don Corneo

[beaglegod]

beaglegod-"A begginers Guide to Cross Dressing"


It doesn't make much sense,but it's funny to think about it!

hehe :) Ive always thought Squalls outfit with that fur collar looked girly.

[MushroomZOMBIE]

I always thought the jacket would look cool.......:p

[Alexander]

Shortest:

Can you revive Aerith?
By Cloud Strife

Woman: A independent being
By Rosa Farrel and Rinoa Heartlilly

101 Ways To Have Honor
By Tantalus

101 Reasons to Ultimecia Compress the Time
By Edea Kramer

Longest:

Girls: How to hit them
By Zidane Tribal, Edgar Fiagro and Irvine Kinneas

Quina Quen's Cooking Book
by Quina Quen

Transvetite: I'm not one!
by Kuja

Shounen-Ai, God's Masterpiece
by Seifer Almasy and Squall Lionheart

[Del Murder]

Men are from Gaia, Women are from Terra
by Kuja

Short books:

Final Fantasy I in Our Own Words
by the Light Warriors

[Alexander]

Longest:

Chocobo Breeding by Aeris Gainsborough (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=72)

LOL. XD

Shortest

Personality, a Guide to Have One
by FFV Characters

Binary Numbers: They Rock!
by Cactuar

Speech About What I Feel
by FFVI Moogles (bar Mog)

How To Hide Plotholes
by FFVIII Team

Longest

What am I doing here?
by Tidus

[Magaso]

Your body and you...and the guy who controls it - Cloud Strife and Sephiroth

Doesnt that have a Foreward by Goblez and Zemus?

[beaglegod]

Long Book:

"Coming Into Season,a Ronsos Guide"
by Kimahri Ronso

"Litter Training for Dummies"
by Red XIII

[FoxHoundx25]

Shortest

10 word sentences
by: Kimari

Longest

I Suck
by: Tidus

[Del Murder]

Why would someone write a book about how much they suck?

[The Man]

Because they're Tidus.

[Kittay]

Short books:

Proper Grammar - by Gau
My Usefulness In Battle - by Rosa
Cosmetic Advice - by Queen Brahne
Me Not Being Hungry - by Quina
Final Fantasy Players Who Regard Me As Their Favorite Character - by Strago

Long books:

My Chin Is Bigger Than Your Chin - by Steiner
Being A Fair Weather Friend - by Kain
How To Pass For The Opposite Gender - by Faris
Times I've Tripped Over Myself - by Vivi

Just a random book:

How Come The Other Cid Survives Jumping Out Of An Airship But I Die After Eating The Wrong Kind Of Fish? - by the Cid from FFVI

[MoonZapdos]

Longest:

How to kidnap a princess successfully
~Zidane

How to keep myself from danger without the help of my bodyguards
~Yuna

Shortest:

How to find out if a person is a vampire
~Vincent

How to get Zell pissed off
~Seifer