i am not a newbie!!!

[Cloud No.9]

today for the third time i was called a newbie on this forum. which is a total lie. i've been around for 4 years don't you know.

so this led me to thinking. is it possible that somehow the members list could be made available to list in other orders except in alphabetical? like most posts, most threads, join time, last post time, etc?

[Yamaneko]

<a href="http://www.eyesonff.com/forums/memberlist.php?postslower=0&postsupper=0&ausername=&homepage=&icq=&aim=&yahoo=&msn=&joindateafter=&joindatebefore=&lastpostafter=&lastpostbefore=&order=ASC&sort=joindate&pp=50&ltr=">You mean like this?</a>

[Cloud No.9]

how did you do that?

[XxSephirothxX]

Just click "Join Date" buddycakes. Haven't you ever used Windows Explorer? :p

[Yamaneko]

I just added that function to the vB.

[Super Christ]

*is on the second page* *feels special*







... Special Ed.

[Cloud No.9]

azar don't be nasty now.

was that always there? i bet it wasn't,. i bet you went out and just did it to make me look stupid. pfft.

[XxSephirothxX]

Oh, come on, I wasn't being nasty. It was silly and mildly sarcastic.

[Raistlin]

Of course you're a newbie. Silly newbies and their tantrums.

[Psychotic]

An admin should change Raist's join date to 2030. Then we can forever call him a newbie, just like in my dirty fantasies.

[Ultima Shadow]

Actually... EVERYONE but Raistlin is a newbie! I mean... seriously!

BoB is a newbie! Atleast, his custom title says so. And EVERYONE knows that custom titles NEVER lie! Therefore... since BoB, even though he is a mod, a senior site staff, have been around for many years, is the number 1 poster and basically LIVES EoFF... even though all theses facts, BoB still is a newbie! Because the title says so! And if BoB is all this... but STILL is a newbie... then we're all newbies!!!

Everyone except Raistlin. Because his moaning about "the old and better days" automatically negates any newbieness and makes him an oldbie. :greenie:

[Raistlin]

An admin should change Raist's join date to 2030. Then we can forever call him a newbie, just like in my dirty fantasies.
Have you been fantasizing about me again, Psy? :p


Actually... EVERYONE but Raistlin is a newbie! I mean... seriously!
It just amuses me that once people get their custom titles, they consider themselves "oldbies." I laugh to irritate them - which amuses me even more. :D

[Ultima Shadow]

Hey, I was 100% serious about my theory!!! Everyone but you IS a newbie! I DO consider myself a newbie! If BoB is, then so am I! :greenie:

[rubah]

An admin should change Raist's join date to 2030. Then we can forever call him a newbie, just like in my dirty fantasies.
Have you been fantasizing about me again, Psy? :p


Actually... EVERYONE but Raistlin is a newbie! I mean... seriously!
It just amuses me that once people get their custom titles, they consider themselves "oldbies." I laugh to irritate them - which amuses me even more. :D

I look forward to August when I shall join the ranks of the 'old'. 'Bies'

[Del Murder]

I just added that function to the vB.
Yams does it again!

[Raistlin]

Yeah! This is like...the <i>second</i> thing he's done. Man, he might actually get a single vote next time for Best CK.

[Leeza]

I just added that function to the vB.
Yams does it again!
He wishes. That feature has always been there. :)

[Yamaneko]

See what she does to me, guys? :(

[Leeza]

Well yeah, but you're still next on my list for Admin. :)

[Raistlin]

Look on, members of EoFF, at how Leeza unfairly antagonizes the poor victim that is Yams! :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

[Leeza]

Oh, I antagonize him fairly enough. :)

[Raistlin]

Oh, I antagonize him fairly enough.

I do not antagonize Yams.
She lies! Bring on the witch burning!

[Shlup]

Boil 'er, mash 'er, stick 'er in a stew.

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

To be honest 2002 is kind of the cutoff point for newbies though.

[The Man]

Oh, I antagonize him fairly enough.

I do not antagonize Yams.
She lies! Bring on the witch burning!
(A village. Sound of chanting of Latin canon, punctuated by short, sharp cracks. It comes nearer. We see it is a line of MONKS ala SEVENTH SEAL flagellation scene, chanting and banging themselves on the foreheads with wooden boards. They pass a group of villagers who are dragging a beautiful YOUNG WOMAN dressed as a witch through the streets. They drag her to a strange house/ruin standing on a hill outside the village. A strange-looking knight stands outside, SIR BEDEVERE.)

FIRST VILLAGER: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
CROWD: BURN!! BUUUURN HER!
BEDEVERE: But how do you *know* she is a witch?
FIRST VILLAGER: She looks like one!
OTHER VILLAGERS: Yeah! She looks like one!!!
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.

(They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up as a witch. She is dressed all in black, has a carrot tied around her face on top of her nose, and a black paper hat on her head. She talks funny because her nose is closed by the carrot.)

WITCH: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!
BEDEVERE: Er,...but you are dressed as one.
WITCH: THEY dressed me up like this.
ALL VILLAGERS: No! nooo! We didn't! We didn't!
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!

(BEDEVERE lifts up the carrot to reveal the woman's real nose, which is in fact rather small.)

BEDEVERE: Well?
FIRST VILLAGER: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
FIRST VILLAGER: And the Hat. But she's a witch!
ALL VILLAGERS: Yeah! Burn her! Burn! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
ALL VILLAGERS: NO! No, no, no, no, no, no...
RANDOM VILLAGER: yes.
ALL VILLAGERS: yes. yes. yes. A bit. yes. a bit. a bit.
FIRST VILLAGER: (hopefully) She has got a wart...
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
SECOND VILLAGER: Well, She turned me into a newt!!
BEDEVERE: (after a pause) a newt?

(Others stare and look at SECOND VILLAGER, who is plainly a human, not a newt.)

SECOND VILLAGER: (Notices the stares. After a pause:) I got better...
VILLAGERS: BURN HER anyway! BURN! BURN! BURN HER!
BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

(ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what follows with interest)

ALL VILLAGERS: Are there? There are? What are they? Tell us! Do they hurt?
BEDEVERE: Tell me ... What do you do with witches?
VILLAGERS: BUUUURN!!!!! BUUUUUURRRRNN!!!!! You BURN them!!!! BURN!!
ALL VILLAGERS: Burn them! Burn them! Burn them up!
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
FIRST VILLAGER: More witches!
SECOND VILLAGER: Sh!
THIRD VILLAGER: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So why do witches burn?

(long silence, shuffling of feet by the villagers)

FOURTH VILLAGER: (pianissimo) ... Because they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE: Goooood!

(PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this conclusion.)

ALL VILLAGERS: Oh! Oh yeah!
BEDEVERE: So. How do we tell whether she is made of wood?
FIRST VILLAGER: Build a bridge out of her!
BEDEVERE: Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
ALL VILLAGERS: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Uhh...
BEDEVERE: Uh, does wood sink in water?
ONE VILLAGER: No! No! No! It floats! It floats!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Throw her into the pond! The pond!
ALL VILLAGERS: yaaaaaa!

(when order is restored)

BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER: Bread!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Apples!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Uh...very small rocks!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Cider!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Uh...great gravy!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Cherries!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Mud!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Churches! Churches!
ANOTHER VILLAGER: Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!

(They all turn and look at ARTHUR. BEDEVERE looks up very impressed.)

VILLAGERS: (in amazement) ooooooh!
BEDEVERE: exACTly!
BEDEVERE: (to FIRST VILLAGER) So, *logically*...
FIRST VILLAGER: (very slowly, with pauses between each word) If...she...weighs the same as a duck......she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE: and therefore...

(pause)

FIRST VILLAGER: A Witch!
ALL VILLAGERS: A WITCH!

[Raistlin]

I expected a "she turned me into a newt!" comment from somebody, not the whole bloody transcript. :p

[The Man]

what can I say, I'm incredibly thorough.

[Ultima Shadow]

That made my day! :D

[Psychotic]

She turned me into a newt!

[Leeza]

I'd rather turn you into a Mute. ;)

[Psychotic]

I don't think newts can talk anyway.

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

But newbs can, and it's a problem.

[Meat Puppet]

mutes can still type though.

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

Whether they're newts or mutes, they've all got to go.

[crashNUMBERS]

Maybe it's because you've probably been inactive...

[theundeadhero]

This thread is having dire consequences. Yams closed two threads today and Leeza didn't cover it up and claim it as her own work. Now that your on this witch hunt she just doesn't have the time. I want you all to go sit in the corner and think about what you've done :(

[-N-]

* Neel sets mode: +m

Frickin' newbs.

[eestlinc]

clearly you are all newbies.