This Just In - Terrorists Attacks EoFF

[Dignified Pauper]

Today, all across EoFF was shook at 2:21 PM EST as a large explosion could be heard all across the boards. Apparently, there was an attempted terrorist attack on the headquarters at EoFF - #EoFF - which left the community in shambles. Well known to the majority of the community, #EoFF is where the most well-known members of the board, as well as many others, tend to collaborate, discuss, and create the rediculous oddities we see here at EoFF. Members of EoFF such as Del, Psycho, Proto, Bob, and countless others make their residence there known, and today was no different. Working exceedingly on their efforts to plan and enforce "chatroom awareness more than a week", they seemed to be the target of the terrorist cell. Not much is known about the cell, other than that they have infiltrated us at EoFF and caused mass hysteria. Many are being questioned and interviewed.

Lenna, a well-known member of EoFF, was in hiding right before the attacks. She says she may know who perpetrated these heinous actions, however, because of her close ties to the suspect, she will not relinquish any names. Many believe she may be in cohoots with the terrorist who planted the bombs to detinate at 2:21 PM today. Though, EoFF Administrative police have not taken anyone into custody, right now, the focus is on helping the injured and to maintain order.

We'll have more on this story as it comes to us live, on channel 0.

I'm Marick, reporting some-what live for EoFF News.

You stay classy Eyes on eff eff.

[Erdrick Holmes]

Huh?

[Bomber]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!

*sobs*

*dies*

[ZuZu]

Should I cry or laugh?

[Chris]

I actually think it was my fault, my computer kinda made this exploding noise... while I was connected to Eoff. xD

[Shauna]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!

*sobs*

*dies*

I do believe he was talking about you Bomber. xD

Lenna always hides when you come in. xD

[Dreddz]

I dont find that joke funny

[Zeldy]

I dont feel so good.. :(

Is that a joke or what?

[ZeZipster]

I actually think it was my fault, my computer kinda made this exploding noise... while I was connected to Eoff. xD

TERRAHIST! TARRAHAST!!!
:mad2:

[crashNUMBERS]

Huh?

[Chris]

I actually think it was my fault, my computer kinda made this exploding noise... while I was connected to Eoff. xD

TERRAHIST! TARRAHAST!!!
:mad2:
So, mean. :cry:

[Psychotic]

Bad Bomber! Bad Bomber!

[faster skating penguin]

Terrorist? I hope it's a white guy for once.

[crashNUMBERS]

Really whats the point of this thread??

[Caspian]

I did it.

[Dignified Pauper]

at 3:06PM EST, the notorious terrorist was identified and confirmed as member Bomber of the EoFF community. Bomber is hiding out and communicating via the web through-out the EoFF community. Administration is focusing on the rebuilding process, luckily, few were harmed, right now, the toll is at 3 with the deaths of kirk 81, HOOTERS and Baloki of the EoFF world were harmed, which has left many others shaken.. More news on this as it rolls in.

I'm Marick for Channel 0, EoFF News.

You stay class Eyes on eff eff.


-----------

You people need to get some humor in your lives. Terrorism isn't going away, and you can't ignore, so why be so shelled from it, or so crazy emotional about it. People die, some before they should, in war, in violence, of old age, regardless, death is death. No matter how many people die in Bush's war on Terrorism, it will never go away, it's an idealogy and those aren't defeated, sometimes silenced, but never defeated, and someday, after this war is over, there will be more. Nothing will stop them, so we might as well laugh some over them, there's no point in dwelling in the bad. Besides, it's easier to get over things when you poke fun at it. How many gay people will make jokes at their own expence, the over-whelming majority, why, because it lightens moods around people who are sort of awkward with it. So stop sniveling, grow up. So the point, there is none, so stop complaining and enjoy life. No one likes people who are perpetually Emo.

[Psychotic]

I heard that kirk 81, HOOTERS and Baloki were all casualties of this atrocity! What say you to that? Trying to keep us in the dark, eh?

[Strider]

I don't get it.

[Old Manus]

TAKE ALL AMERICAN FORCES OUT OF EOFF

[Dignified Pauper]

*changes story as though he were CNN, and continues digging up more news*

[Caspian]

at 3:06PM EST, the notorious terrorist was identified and confirmed as member Bomber of the EoFF community. Bomber is hiding out and communicating via the web through-out the EoFF community. Administration is focusing on the rebuilding process, luckily, few were harmed, right now, the toll is at 3 with the deaths of kirk 81, HOOTERS and Baloki of the EoFF world were harmed, which has left many others shaken.. More news on this as it rolls in.

I'm Marick for Channel 0, EoFF News.

You stay class Eyes on eff eff.


You must have overlooked my confession. Whatever, I'll just have to strike again.

[Strider]

Hey, wait a second.

Leave the news reporting to real journalists, like Rainecloud and I.

*stifles a laugh*

[Samuraid]

The news must be fake, BoB's name is misspelled! :mad2:



:rolleyes2 :rolleyes2 :D :D

[Old Manus]

Isn't channel 0 AV?

[Psychotic]

Hey, let's invade and occupy the Final Fantasy V forum in case Bomber once posted there!

...well, thanks to being elected in the EoFF elections I guess that makes me a Senator or something, so I can propose these sorts of things.

[Dignified Pauper]

3:21 PM EST - Caspian has emerged as a new suspect in the case of the EoFF terrorist. Writing to our new source saying "You fools have the wrong man! Praise SPAM! PRAISE SPAM!" It was a direct and poignant assault at the EoFF community.

SPAM, the deity of terrorists here at EoFF has long been looked at as a heinous and evil monster, however, that wasn't all true before these terrorist attacks started springing up all over the internet, and most-recently, here at EoFF. SPAM was once known as a gently disgusting lunchmeat that was in the households of the health conscious. Processed more that hotdogs, it was utilized for its unique taste which was comparable to a rotten sausage. However, now, the name of SPAM has been tainted by terrorists, saying that it is the will of SPAM to cause terrorism.

Right now, authorities are searching for Bomber and Caspian. They believe that both may be working together and splitting up, planning for another attack that could happen in the next few hours. Dogs have been sent out all across the EoFF community in hopes of finding any more attack devices and preventing them before it is too late.

Psychotic, recently elected here at EoFF, has proposed an all-out invasion into a secion of the community known as the Final Fantasy V forum, to find any posts made by bomber, disect them, and hopefully learn of any future attacks, or perhaps where he may be hiding.

I'm Marick for Channel 0 News.

You stay classy Eyes on eff eff.

[Hawkeye]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

*gets shot by terrorists*

[KentaRawr!]

On Channel 100 News...

Kentarou: "I'm Kentarou Nokuda and welcome to Channel 100 news, your number 1 source of random crap. Today, EoFF Member Chris has been accused of supporting the Bombing of the EoFF Boards. Chris is a chatter that lives with someone somewhere. Heres Stealth#9 outside the court..."

Stealth#9: "Thanks Ken. Now, as you can see behind me, many people are waving signs around like fools in an attempt to protect this foolish life form known as "Chris", not realizing that what they do every day is useless. Eating Breakfast, going to sleep, brushing your teeth. It's all useless! Life is meaningless!!"

Kentarou: "Thanks 9 for that wonderful take on life. Don't go away! When we come back we talk about how Jedi is becoming a religion, after this."

Then you change the channel.

[Psychotic]

[20:48] //Baloki: The Socs claimed responsibility for this: http://www.eyesonff.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1207321
[20:48] //Baloki: TELL THE WORLD
[20:48] I am taller than my imaginary friend.: YOU CAN'T TALK
[20:48] I am taller than my imaginary friend.: YOU'RE A VICTIM.
[20:49] //Baloki: I know, but I regained conciousness to tell the world
[20:49] //Baloki: They must not get away with it
[20:49] I am taller than my imaginary friend.: You can't regain consciousness from death!
[20:49] //Baloki: DO NOT ALLOW BoB TO GET AWAY WITH IT
[20:49] //Baloki: REPORT IT TO THE WORLD
[20:49] I am taller than my imaginary friend.: Eh, the things I do to get laid at this damned meetup...

[Caspian]

I just planted a bomb in the Feedback Forum. It will explode with another 200 views.

[Triple T]

Members of EoFF such as Del, Psycho, Proto, Bob, and countless others make their residence there known, and today was no different.

Yes. Psy you chat whore, you! ^.~

[Dignified Pauper]

3:46 PM EST

#EoFF has been in an uproar with the recent terrorist attacks. I'm going post a small amount of transcripts from conversations here.

"[15:45] SnowCat> The socs just claimed responsibility for those bombings
[15:45] SnowCat> No they did it [told me] to me via Private Chat
[15:46] SnowCat> As said in the private chat: <Loony BoB> I in fact carried out the bombings because they suck"

Apparently, the socs is some sort of organization who Loony BoB knows much about. While none of these reports can be confirmed, we do know that this is a new lead. Authorities are being spread thin in their search for socs members, Caspian, and Bomber. Psychotic has stated he may or may not give a press statement later today.

As for SnowCat, a regular member of EoFF, his testimony will go down on the records and he will be taken in by authorities and questioned. BoB is currently missing in action, mysteriously. He was last seen giving out the personal statistics of #eoff at 1:44 PM, EST. Later seen about 22 minutes later greeting member mark, and has not been seen since.

Also, Caspian, an obvious Soc member has reported that they have put a bomb in the feedback forum. Authorities have begun searching frantically hoping to find and disarm the bomb.


I'm Marick reporting for Channel 0, EoFF News.

You stay classy Eyes on Eff Eff.

[Caspian]

I'd like to announce that I am not a member of this Soc organization, but rather I was hired by Josef Stalin to disrupt the EoFFian way of life.

[Agent Proto]

I have no idea what you're coming on about Marick.

[Hawkeye]

Who are teh virtual terrorists??!1one

[Old Manus]

I reckon he was put up to it by BoB as preparation for Chat Week.

[Dignified Pauper]

[16:08] Marick" Manus knows about the terrorists attacks here at EoFF!
[16:08] Old_Manus> I thought everyone would be dead
[16:08] Proto> That's because he's a terrorist.

4:13 PM EST. As you just saw, tensions have risen in #EoFF. Proto has accused Manus of being a terrorist, who, coincidentally, accused me of being put up to this charade by BoB for preparation of "Chatroom awareness more than a week".

Moving onward, long dead Josef Stalin is the perpetrator behind Caspian's terrorist bombings. Caspian, from the secret layer that no one knows about, has contacted our studio to tell us of her leader, which is none other than the leader of the Red Army's dream of Communism - Josef Stalin.

Further, BoB still is missing. With "Chatroom awareness more than a week" coming up combined with these attacks, it bodes a bad future for EoFF. As leader of the Socs, it is believed that BoB may be planning to attack EoFF sometime else in the near future, perhaps in the height of his own event!?

Regardless, the administation has vowed to put in minimal effort to rebuild the attacked sections, rebuild friendships and a sense of community, and to find the real reason the terrorists have struck us here at EoFF.

I'm Marick, reporting for Channel 0, EoFF News

You stay class Eyes on Eff Eff.

[crashNUMBERS]

You people need to get some humor in your lives.
I have more sense of humor than you...

[Old Manus]

crash owns Marick.

[Heath]

Hey, let's invade and occupy the Final Fantasy V forum in case Bomber once posted there!

...well, thanks to being elected in the EoFF elections I guess that makes me a Senator or something, so I can propose these sorts of things.

Really?

*ahem* As elected person of the Final Fantasy Tactics Advance forum, I would like to send my condolences to members of EoFF and will support any emoticon taxes placed on the culprits.

[Dreddz]

I heard that kirk 81, HOOTERS and Baloki were all casualties of this atrocity! What say you to that? Trying to keep us in the dark, eh?
And I heard that people died in the real bombing, This thread is F***ed in the A**

[Caspian]

Caspian, from the secret layer that no one knows about, has contacted our studio to tell us of her leader, which is none other than the leader of the Red Army's dream of Communism - Josef Stalin.

I'm a guy, and for this injustice, I shall plant explosives at Channel 0's headquarters.

[crashNUMBERS]

Yeah and next they're going to bomb this thread. Oh wait theres one!! A Mod!!

[-N-]

I reckon he was put up to it by BoB as preparation for Chat Week.

[StarlightAngel]

OMG WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Nah. I'm an angel, therefor I cannot die :p Nice try, evil bomber peoples.

[crashNUMBERS]

Damn!! I need a guardian angel!! :love: j/k

[Old Manus]

I reckon he was put up to it by BoB as preparation for Chat Week.

I agree.

[Cuchulainn]

This is in very very bad taste. I think some members need to exercise the reason they grew pubic hair.

[-N-]

I reckon he was put up to it by BoB as preparation for Chat Week.I agree.:shifty:

[Lindy]

I don't know why just...

Being a Londoner, this thread really makes me feel...sad, actually I think I'm close to tears, I don't think I can take this as a joke.

I know terrorism isn't going to go away, humour to keep up spirits in times of woe, but this just...

I almost feel...offended, in fact I think I am.

[XxSephirothxX]

Seriously, this thread is retarded. If you don't want to take death and violence too seriously, that's fine by me, but at least make sure you're not offending people in the process. And actually being funny would help too.

[Yamaneko]

This doesn't even have a topic.