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faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 08:42 PM
Come to me with the pathetic excuses for problems that pleague your disgusting life and I'll give you advice to help you be almost as perfect as me.

ASK AWAY!

Psychotic
07-12-2005, 08:46 PM
How can I train my toenails to shoot laserbeams?

Hawkeye
07-12-2005, 08:47 PM
How come I'm poor?

Jess
07-12-2005, 08:48 PM
How comes your faster at skating than all of the other penguins?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 08:51 PM
Psy: You mean it can't already? YOU SUCK!

Hawk: Because YO MOMMA didn't like HER PIMP anymore. ZING

Jess: Because I consider it an art rather than a hobby

Blackmageboi
07-12-2005, 09:13 PM
why am i so wierd is it my diet?

Psychotic
07-12-2005, 09:19 PM
I used the plural form "toenails" and yet you used the singular form "it" instead of the plural form "they". Why can't you use correct grammar? Is it because you suck more than I do? ;)

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 09:20 PM
BMB: Yes. Cut down on the horse semen.

Psy: I would explain it to you in depth, but the overwhelming logic behind the matter would CRUSH YOUR BRAIN

nik0tine
07-12-2005, 09:21 PM
How should I go about spanking my sixteen year old daughter?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 09:22 PM
nik0tine: Don't. Leave it to me *growl*

Xaven
07-12-2005, 09:23 PM
Are you on the southern tip of Argentina or Antarctica?

DMKA
07-12-2005, 09:23 PM
HOW DO I SHOT WEB?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 09:27 PM
Xaven: Antarctica

DMKA: Drink acid. LOTS of acid.

Zeldy
07-12-2005, 09:28 PM
Is the World Flat?

StarlightAngel
07-12-2005, 09:31 PM
I used to think penguins were cute before you came. Now I think they're bloody murderers. Why do I think that?

Hawkeye
07-12-2005, 09:32 PM
Will I have "fun" with Heather Graham?

Little Miss Awesome
07-12-2005, 09:34 PM
Dear faster Skating Penguin,
For many days now I have had this song called "You Spin Me Round" stuck in my head and it will not go away. What should I do?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 09:34 PM
Zelda: yes

Starlight: Did a penguin violate you, honey?

Hawkeye: Unless your into sadistic horror sex, then no. Not at all.

Little Miss Awesome: kill yourself. it has to be a painful death, or the song will be stuck in your head in the grave

T-MaN
07-12-2005, 09:39 PM
Do I eat a Strawberry Cookie or drink a Strawberry Milkshake?

Hawkeye
07-12-2005, 09:40 PM
Who is the hottest women alive?

Should I put p0rn on my picture iPod?

Zeldy
07-12-2005, 09:41 PM
Why is a Chav a Chav?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 09:42 PM
T-Man: Milkshake obiously.

Hawkeye: Only bestiality.

Little Miss Awesome
07-12-2005, 09:43 PM
Little Miss Awesome: kill yourself. it has to be a painful death, or the song will be stuck in your head in the grave
Nooo! Is there not a simpler way? Like listening to Bob The Builder music etc??

Hawkeye
07-12-2005, 09:45 PM
Hawkeye: Only bestiality.
I am NOT asking you anymore questions :D

:monster:

StarlightAngel
07-12-2005, 09:46 PM
Starlight: Did a penguin violate you, honey?


No. They just seem very suspicious and evil now.

nik0tine
07-12-2005, 09:47 PM
For many days now I have had this song called "You Spin Me Round" stuck in my head and it will not go away. Like a record baby?

Meat Puppet
07-12-2005, 09:47 PM
Wait, is this EoY?

nik0tine
07-12-2005, 09:49 PM
No, it's dear tabloid white trash.

Little Miss Awesome
07-12-2005, 09:49 PM
For many days now I have had this song called "You Spin Me Round" stuck in my head and it will not go away. Like a record baby?
Right round round round :(

Old Manus
07-12-2005, 09:56 PM
Are you pompous, obese and offensive all the time?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 09:59 PM
Old Manus: YES I MOST CERTAINLY AM

-N-
07-12-2005, 10:06 PM
Can I pee on your forehead?

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 10:08 PM
-N-: THATS ABSOLUTLEY DISGUSTING!! DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE ANY SELF RESPECT!? OF COURSE YOU CANT PISS ON MY FOREHEAD!

Only in my mouth.

God, you sicken me.

GooeyToast
07-12-2005, 10:30 PM
Are you teh product of a human ice skater, mating with teh fastest penguin?


~Keep it gooey~

faster skating penguin
07-12-2005, 10:32 PM
Toast: No. I am actually the product of an overweight walrus & a human Mongolian. How I became a fast skating penguin remains a mystery evern to myself.

Cuchulainn
07-12-2005, 10:35 PM
How come you make every other sailor pay but give out to me for free?

StarlightAngel
07-12-2005, 10:42 PM
If the world was suddenly frozen over and the water and the sea was all smooth would you host an ice skating contest and who do you think out of the EoFF members (other than you) would do well/win?

eestlinc
07-12-2005, 10:56 PM
I don't even know where to start listing the reasons this thread is wrong.