Agent Proto
07-26-2005, 11:15 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/proto3k2/ToS/kratos1.gif Alright, so I was looking online and I found a bunch of fake messages one could use on their answering machines. Anyway, the point is to have you also create some your own messages, you can make them funny, straight to the point, or whatever.
Anyway, here are some examples of Answering Maching messages that I came up with.
• "You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me..."
• "Hi. Now you say something."
• Drawling granny voice: "Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot."
• "Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to me, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to my room mate, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system."
• In a bored voice: "Heaven, God speaking..."
• "I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message."
• Darth Vader voice: "Speak, worm!"
• "This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when."
• "Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye."
• Bullwinkle: "Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine!"
Rocky: "Again?"
Bullwinkle: "Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO!" (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.)
Bullwinkle: "Must have been a wrong number."
Rocky: "Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message."
• Recorded during a party: "HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB Yeah!! We're having a party!! Come on over! Mike's not home right now!! Look out! Hey what are you doing? Careful it might spill. Was that the phone ringing? BEEP!"
Anyway, here are some examples of Answering Maching messages that I came up with.
• "You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me..."
• "Hi. Now you say something."
• Drawling granny voice: "Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot."
• "Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to me, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to my room mate, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system."
• In a bored voice: "Heaven, God speaking..."
• "I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message."
• Darth Vader voice: "Speak, worm!"
• "This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when."
• "Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye."
• Bullwinkle: "Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine!"
Rocky: "Again?"
Bullwinkle: "Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO!" (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.)
Bullwinkle: "Must have been a wrong number."
Rocky: "Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message."
• Recorded during a party: "HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB-BUB-HUB Yeah!! We're having a party!! Come on over! Mike's not home right now!! Look out! Hey what are you doing? Careful it might spill. Was that the phone ringing? BEEP!"