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View Full Version : when did you get the birds and the bees speech



Markus. D
07-31-2005, 02:20 AM
i got it once i told my mum i had sex for the first time.

that convo then turned into a ... son!!! i stress to you, please dont do drugs speech.



so when did you people get the birds and the bees lecture. :confused:

Del Murder
07-31-2005, 02:26 AM
I got it in school. I think it was fifth or sixth grade.

Markus. D
07-31-2005, 02:29 AM
awww, youre lucky, i was absent on those days.

Lindy
07-31-2005, 02:31 AM
There was a book involved, and lots of gesturing.

I think it ended up boiling down to "You put this in there, have fun, but make sure you put it in the right person".

Hawkeye
07-31-2005, 02:33 AM
I got mine in 6th grade. My old man took me to McDonalds too, for some reason.

Acutally, I take that back. When I was in 4th grade, my friend got a hold of a Penthouse Magazine. Pretty awesome

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 02:35 AM
I got it in school. I think it was fifth or sixth grade.
really I have had to teach sex ed it went something like this:

you stick the steak into the bush and oull in and out if you want extra sticky juice suck on the steak and remember your steak sauce or else the woman will become fat and let horrible masses of /xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif out into the world who will later become children, horrible horrible children

Markus. D
07-31-2005, 02:35 AM
nice story.

Lindy
07-31-2005, 02:37 AM
really I have had to teach sex ed it went something like this:

you stick the steak into the bush and oull in and out if you want extra sticky juice suck on the steak and remember your steak sauce or else the woman will become fat and let horrible masses of /xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif out into the world who will later become children, horrible horrible children
That is the world's worst sugar-coating.

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 02:37 AM
I totaly know I heard the story when I went into grade 6

Medi
07-31-2005, 02:38 AM
here's something i once heard "the sneaky snake went into the furry bush"

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 02:40 AM
really i'd say the smart snake went into the sexy bush

Medi
07-31-2005, 02:40 AM
lol

Markus. D
07-31-2005, 02:41 AM
hahaha, okay.

Del Murder
07-31-2005, 02:42 AM
It was pretty straightforward when I got it.

Shoeberto
07-31-2005, 02:42 AM
This thread is going to all the wrong places. Please keep it clean, guys.

I got it in the fifth grade when a chiropracter or something came in and showed us a video.

Faris
07-31-2005, 02:44 AM
I got it in school. I think it was fifth or sixth grade.

Lindy
07-31-2005, 02:44 AM
...Why exactly a chiropractor?

Practice safe sex kids!

Do it in a sensible position so you don't cause spinal damage!

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 02:44 AM
we can try to keep it in the right places but seriously can this topic really be appropriate. It's fun to watch people's faces during the videos specialy kids makes my cry laughing

Del Murder
07-31-2005, 02:51 AM
It can be and will be or it will be closed.

Shoeberto
07-31-2005, 02:53 AM
...Why exactly a chiropractor?

Practice safe sex kids!

Do it in a sensible position so you don't cause spinal damage!
Well, he was a doctor. I guess that's justification.

Lindy
07-31-2005, 02:56 AM
Chiropractors aren't real doctors, they just like to think they are.

Yamaneko
07-31-2005, 03:00 AM
Fuzzy bunny...

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 03:00 AM
hops on the moose...

Shoeberto
07-31-2005, 03:01 AM
Yeah, true. It was a position that was open to anyone who wanted to volunteer; we could've had a mechanic with a pot belly and a mullet, so long as he knew how to press play on a VCR and answer any questions we had, though most felt to awkward about the whole thing to ask any questions.

I do remember one question in particular that got asked, but I don't think it'd be appropriate so I'll just tuck that one away.

Teek
07-31-2005, 03:02 AM
My daddy showed me how to do it himself.

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 03:30 AM
thats real special now anotehr question, how sane is your daddy?

Mitch
07-31-2005, 03:35 AM
I never got it :D

Meat Puppet
07-31-2005, 03:39 AM
My dad came in and told me there is a swarm of killer bees headed our way and are going to kill everyone, so I started crying and hid under the house for about a week. I must've been anywhere between 6 and 18.

fire_of_avalon
07-31-2005, 03:49 AM
I found a dirty book my aunt left under our microwave. I was eleven. The next year in school, we had the big school sex talk.

EDIT: You could probably already tell I was kind of messed up, right? xD

Leeza
07-31-2005, 03:54 AM
My cousin told me all about it when I was about 12, but I didn't believe her.

Lindy
07-31-2005, 03:55 AM
I found a dirty book my aunt left under our microwave. I was eleven. The next year in school, we had the big school sex talk.
When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they call in a man to fix the fridge...

RSL
07-31-2005, 04:01 AM
I didn't get any talk like that from my parents. We were taught it in school in 6th grade, I believe.

Silver Valentines
07-31-2005, 04:04 AM
hmm...I got it when I was like 10-12 not sure anymore, my aunt (who happened to be a nurse) told me about it. I think I handled it nicely.

Kakashi509
07-31-2005, 04:25 AM
It's so hard to to laugh well trying to tell the story seriously it like reading millions of psy's posts at one time

fire_of_avalon
07-31-2005, 04:28 AM
[quote=fire_of_avalon]
When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they call in a man to fix the fridge...
No, it was about Captain Gringo and his little French sidekick guy going into Central America to free Cocoa farmers from the clutches of a ruthless cocaine guy.

The English were somehow involved. I've said too much.

Lindy
07-31-2005, 04:29 AM
The English are always involved, we always have been and always will be.

rubah
07-31-2005, 07:48 PM
Funnily enough, my parents started explaining things when we were sitting in the hottub one evening. They amused themselves by explaining the colorful terms to refer to genitalia as, but since I figured I knew enough, I ignored them and they gave up and haven't tried again since xD

The internet has taken up the slack of course.

Of course.

You know, I don't think we've *really* had sex ed in school. At least, none that I remember. I remember the 'zomg, these are TAMPONS' days but not anything else.

Zeldy
07-31-2005, 08:22 PM
Year 6, i never giggled so much in my life. And my parents gave me this 'Facts about life' book which i shoved under my bed ^^;
And again in yr 7 omg he was one of the best teachers ive ever had.
"Now.. The man is a Postman so the woman.. the woman is the house; The man posts the letters through the doorbox and then moves on to anouther house." "Now..what should the title be?" THE DAILY MAIL
and he gave him like 10 credits for the 'best joke of the year' :o But i never really understood it at that time, i was left with Ifs And Buts

KoShiatar
07-31-2005, 08:34 PM
I never had such a talk. I was given a children's book when I was very small and the whole thing was explained in it with suitable words. It was mostly about pregnancy more than sex, but back then I wasn't interested so much in how the baby got there, you know...

kikimm
07-31-2005, 08:37 PM
I think I was in 4th grade. Maybe 8 or something. It was after I had seen my cats try something and I demanded to know what the hell was going on.


:D

Chaos
07-31-2005, 11:54 PM
I didn't. When my boyfriend came over to stay the night my mum just said "We had a steep learning curve with your brother - so no sex."
I was just like "k"

Was a rather messy situation with my brother and his girlfriend involving the walking in of parent into room.

Yes.

We never really got the talk at school. We were shown how to put condoms on, but aside from that: de nada.

Chaos

Rye
08-01-2005, 12:00 AM
Nah, never had it, aside from school being like "Sperm + egg = baby, use a condom = no STDs" and stuff like that. Most kids just figure out on my own, imo.

Shoden
08-01-2005, 12:18 AM
same here the basics of pregnancy, STDS, sexual intercourse and crap we got it 3 times once a year for 6 weeks twice a week most of the stuff was about drugs

everyone knows drug ed is better than sex ed straight i was dying not to laugh through the eds

never got the birds n bees story


this thread has made my heart pound through the roof especially the "postman, the cats and dirty magazine" posts this has made my day

Maxico
08-01-2005, 12:25 AM
How exactly does the birds and the bees talk go?
Does it end with some kind of Bird/Bee hybrid?

Kakashi509
08-01-2005, 12:27 AM
you stick the steak into the bush and oull in and out if you want extra sticky juice suck on the steak and remember your steak sauce or else the woman will become fat and let horrible masses of /xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif out into the world who will later become children, horrible horrible children
that's pretty much the story

faster skating penguin
08-01-2005, 12:51 AM
I knew the mechanics of sex by the time I was 4.

metal4deth
08-01-2005, 12:54 AM
never had "the talk" but i was smart and had friends and everything worked out

Kakashi509
08-01-2005, 01:06 AM
I knew the mechanics of sex by the time I was 4.
did you demonstrate them when you were 5 or 6

faster skating penguin
08-01-2005, 01:15 AM
yep

Psychotic
08-01-2005, 01:22 AM
We had sex ed in school when I was 11. We were made to watch several, yes, several, videos on it. All I can remember from them is that the video voice over thing said "The man says I love you to the woman, and then..." well, you know the rest. Haha, I love that "I love you" thing. It's trying to make us all do it with someone special or something.

Dixie
08-01-2005, 01:25 AM
I remember getting it in 5th grade.(Mom told me when I was in third grade) My class watched a REALLY lame video on it....At the end of the day, I laughed really, really hard.....It was so lame...And I already knew about it!

Kakashi509
08-01-2005, 01:25 AM
This also pretty much sums up the story
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v19/Thepenguin/Graphics/godkillssig.jpg

Rye
08-01-2005, 01:29 AM
The video on girls getting their period and puberty and stuff like that was funny. It had this frumpy looking 11 year old who carried jumbo HUGE sized boxes of pads under her arm to school, and she dropped it and didn't notice and the guy she likes was like "Dropped these? *the sexual eyebrow thing*" Then she goes to his party at the end of the video, and she's randomly like "NO, I AM NOT READY TO HAVE SEX, I DON'T WANT TO YET! I WON'T HAVE SEX!" even though the guy probably didn't even want to kiss her. It was great. xD

Chris
08-01-2005, 01:31 AM
Seriously, I got it from a movie. :(

Kakashi509
08-01-2005, 01:31 AM
Oh yea I like the one that's like "Here's a tampon," and it's the size of the girls head

faster skating penguin
08-01-2005, 01:44 AM
I'm quite suprised that most foud out as late as 11 ... xD

Chris
08-01-2005, 01:50 AM
I'm quite suprised that most foud out as late as 11 ... xD
Compensating for something penguin boi? xD

Dictionary: Boi, gay, teenager.

Fuzakeru
08-01-2005, 03:19 AM
I learned about 'the deed' when I was six years old. ^.^ I saw it on TV, asked about it, learned, the end.

I never got the talk again. I didn't need it because my mother gave the "The Wonders of Sex" and I never had a question to ask afterwards.

Peegee
08-01-2005, 04:05 AM
I was screwing around and biting my gf and she was biting me back, blah blah just for s&giggles. My mother saw the hickies and told me not to be having sex. I was 22.

Wait, I learned about sex in school.

faster skating penguin
08-01-2005, 05:22 PM
I was into porn by the time I was 7.

Wow, that might explain a lot.

Tama2
08-01-2005, 05:28 PM
I've always heard of the bird and the bees, but I never knew what happens. What is the story to those birdes and bees. Sound like interspecies sex is about to occur. Tryin to make somethin like a liger. cept it would be like a um
somethin. (brain isn't workin to well. mornin time and I need food to get me puttin along)

Anyways. I learned about it when I was like 5. My family is very open about sex.

ZuZu
08-01-2005, 05:32 PM
Usually schools deals these things.
I also found interesting books from library " You have hair, but you can find it somewhere else etc." :D And those pictures :lol:
And I found hidden films from the closet... :Oo: DAD!

Social Moon Firesky
08-01-2005, 05:35 PM
Usually schools deals these things.
I also found interesting books from library " You have hair, but you can find it somewhere else etc." :D And those pictures :lol:
And I found hidden films from the closet... :Oo: DAD!

ZuZu! You poor thing!

Yeah, my schools dealt with it all. My mum tried to give me the talk, but I said I already knew, so she didn't. Apparently, my dad's gonna give me a lecture on birth control for my 16th birhtday...Great, just what I've always wanted. As if I'm not mentally scarred enough. :D

Dixie
08-01-2005, 06:08 PM
The video on girls getting their period and puberty and stuff like that was funny. It had this frumpy looking 11 year old who carried jumbo HUGE sized boxes of pads under her arm to school, and she dropped it and didn't notice and the guy she likes was like "Dropped these? *the sexual eyebrow thing*" Then she goes to his party at the end of the video, and she's randomly like "NO, I AM NOT READY TO HAVE SEX, I DON'T WANT TO YET! I WON'T HAVE SEX!" even though the guy probably didn't even want to kiss her. It was great. xDI remember seeing that in 5th grade...A lot of the girls in the room wanted to laugh...And they did...afterwards, though.

(I learned so much in 5th grade.)

(Esspecially in one day.)

(...................Okay, I admit it.)

(I already knew lots of that stuff.)

Doomie
08-01-2005, 06:11 PM
What's sex? OW MY EARS ARE BURNING!

My parents tried giving me the talk, but I walked away instead. Of course, there was the "When a boy loves a girl..." thing in 5th grade. Any other questions were answered by the internet and South Park. The clitoris is something that gives a little boy courage. :cool:

Fonzie
08-01-2005, 06:17 PM
We watched a video on it lol. If we laughed we would be sent to O.C.S or on campus suspension. I was in the 5th grade.

escobert
08-01-2005, 06:57 PM
I never got one :( what's it all about?

lordblazer
08-02-2005, 02:12 AM
never.... lol i learned form my friends.(Which in a way is the wrong way but hey I didn't care)still dont

Lord Xehanort
08-02-2005, 02:29 AM
Never got it. I got a book about human anatomy and development and a fully detailed speech on where babies come from.

I was 4.

disapointedchild
08-02-2005, 05:10 AM
On halloween, they though it would scare me.

Who knew I would just think its funny,untill I found out it was true.

nik0tine
08-02-2005, 05:22 AM
I got it from my mom, sort of, in the fourth grade. They don't seem to teach that stuff in the schools that I went to. I remember there was a kid in Jr. High who had to ask me the question: "What's mating?"

Miriel
08-02-2005, 05:42 AM
My parents never had that talk with me. I picked up everything I needed to know off the streets. And from the scribblings on bathroom stalls.

Takara
08-02-2005, 06:07 AM
My mom gave me "the speech" when I had my first periods, but I knew about it ever since I was seven because my best friend had a book about sexual education.

SomethingBig
08-02-2005, 06:38 AM
I never got the speech. Does that make me gay?

rubah
08-02-2005, 07:01 AM
I never got the speech. Does that make me gay?
Probably.

SomethingBig
08-02-2005, 07:08 AM
I always knew not having the talk would come back to haunt me. :( Now I have to chase pengies in Antarctica, living off whale blubber and seahorses.

XxSephirothxX
08-02-2005, 07:10 AM
You make it sound like a bad thing.


As for me...we got that in school in like 7th grade and then again in 9th.

Winter Nights
08-02-2005, 07:21 AM
Yeah.. In 5th, 6th, AND 7th grade they took a whole week out of the school year to teach the same sex ed class. A whole farking week. The same class, same teacher, same videos.. For three straight years. After that I took to watching alot of porn.

Reles
08-02-2005, 07:45 AM
No one ever told me anything. I just, always knew, it was weird. But I'm still learning more and more about it everyday. School only did puberty tapes, not necessarily described sexual intercourse at all.

Jebus
08-02-2005, 07:58 AM
School started it in 5th grade.

The internet finished it over the next three years.

And then...I got bored of sexuality. I blame the internet.

*ETERNAL FANTASY*
08-02-2005, 08:48 AM
6th grade in school and then came the horrid dirty jokes given from my dad to tell me to be careful lol! Kinda awkward when he would showed a friend and i some porno...it was a one off thing but that took the cake for giving me the 411 on sex education and everything in between lol!

Alive-Cat
08-02-2005, 12:15 PM
Pretty strange, my brother just gave me some porno and walked out the room. I never got no speech. Dammit.

thw waxing moon
08-05-2005, 01:11 PM
i got it from my dad two days ago whan i when to sleep over at my girl ferneds

too bad i had to finish the talk for him lol

GooeyToast
08-05-2005, 01:26 PM
Whatever happened to senseless humping? Ya know, in the olden days.

Humans just make sex so more...."drawn out" and stuff like that. Kinda stupid really.

Anyways, I've know since as long as I can remember. Seriously. I remember watching porn all the time when i was....8 or 9 i believe. I think my freinds a bit of an influence on that you could say. I knew words, moves, phrases, all that stuff real young. And then, in 6th grade, we got the "lowdown" on it, most of which i already knew, some of which i sort of didnt.

Then last yr, once again, same /xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif. Like I'm ever going to need to know a detailed descripton on the volva. :rolleyes2

I never got a talk, at least, not yet. I wouldnt be supirsed if we just skipped it. I know it all now anyways, what with my smurfing health teacher lecturing on to us about douchebags. ;)


~Keep it gooey~

Ashi
08-05-2005, 08:11 PM
I never got that speech. Heard about it from classmates when I was in the 8th grade but still didn't know details till years later.

Karl
08-05-2005, 09:55 PM
never got that speech, altho i got the crash course from some popups and spam emails :freak: :Oo:

Momiji
08-06-2005, 12:59 AM
Heh... :sweatdrop

I got caught with my uncle's Playboy mag.....

IT WAS CURIOSITY OF A 10 YEAR OLD MIND, OK!!!!????

<_< >_> -_-...

mike without a hat
08-06-2005, 01:33 AM
i never got the talk but my parents did show me that this is how babies are made video at disney world, i dont even know if that place is still there

and then there was the couple weeks of 5th grade health class that said dont have unprotected sex or you have a great chance of getting aids and a couple videos

the rest i figued out from friends and the internet

Carnage
08-06-2005, 02:29 AM
my dad came voer my hosue one time. we were playing poker. i mena i was 15 and he was a little late but it was the htought that counts :) .

You know how to uhh not get girls pregnant right? yeah
alright just dont get caught in the rain without your raincoat

Obsidian
08-07-2005, 02:43 PM
They tried to give it to us in fifth grade, but by the time they had finished their presentation... The only thing that was clear to us was that the penis does, in fact, erect itself. :rolleyes2

I stayed pretty misinformed for a couple of years after that. The rest of it was filled in by teh parents.

Selphie Fan
08-07-2005, 09:38 PM
I first heard about it in the sixth grade in dun...dun...dun...health class!

DMKA
08-07-2005, 09:45 PM
I never got a "speech"...I just learned about it through school...and well, living.