EOFF Pope Inauguration speech [Archive] - Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums

theundeadhero

08-10-2005, 12:48 PM

Hello members of EOFF! As your newly elected Pope I would like to say a few things here today. As your newly elected official I have great plans for the future Without you none of these would have been possible. Thank you for your vote of confidence.

As your Pope let me tell you what I plan to do.

I plan to uncover the mysteries of the secret staff porn forum with the help of my "Morocco Mole" Agents.

I plan to hold special holidays such as "Red Sexy Lingerea Day" and "Drop an anvil on the newbies head Day".

I plan to bring a new age to spam where subtle humor and in-jokes are encouraged instead of the horrible way things are found funny today.

I plan to settle once and for all who has a dirtier mind: ShlupQuack or Jojo.

I plan to have that filthy word "ninja", *shudder*, added to the swear filter. (Did you really expect an elected official not to have any hidden agendas?)

Perhaps my biggest challenge will be to bring to light the truth of a certain evil video game. Soon all shall be enlightened and know that FFVII never really exsisted!

Of course, I can be "persauded" to take on new challanges with the proper "motivation".

Welcome to the future!

As the Pope I may need help. Two Cardinals who can be trusted to get the job done just might need to be selected. :)

faster skating penguin

08-10-2005, 12:57 PM

haha ur catholic

theundeadhero

08-10-2005, 01:06 PM

haha, You were caught doing the nasty and they made you go skating as a punishment.

Sinner.

faster skating penguin

08-10-2005, 01:08 PM

you heartless bastard >:l

The Jamie Star Scenario

08-10-2005, 01:08 PM

Oh noes a heretic, burn him!

08-10-2005, 01:10 PM

*assassinates*

Primus Inter Pares

08-10-2005, 01:21 PM

NOOOOO!!!

Ninja, Ninja, Ninja

NINJA!

And I voted for you :mad:

Flying Mullet

08-10-2005, 01:29 PM

The Pope's in Jojo's pants! :eek:

08-10-2005, 01:31 PM

The Pope's in Jojo's pants! :eek:

Who isn't? :o

Dreddz

08-10-2005, 01:58 PM

Perhaps my biggest challenge will be to bring to light the truth of a certain evil video game. Soon all shall be enlightened and know that FFVII never really exsisted!

How dare you....

Meat Puppet

08-10-2005, 02:02 PM

Remember how i told you I want to be your cardinal?
well I want to be your cardinal
pros: I might take a bullet for you
cons: will steal your porn

Hawkeye

08-10-2005, 02:03 PM

Hey, I still wanna be God

The Jamie Star Scenario

08-10-2005, 02:41 PM

As the Pope I may need help. Two Cardinals who can be trusted to get the job done just might need to be selected. :)Yes, well you at least need a Camerlengo.

Anyway, I am stictly against ninjas, I'm more of a samuria or pirate person myself.

faster skating penguin

08-10-2005, 02:48 PM

Pirate > Ninja > Samurai > Talking Walrus

Meat Puppet

08-10-2005, 03:58 PM

Pirate > Ninja > Samurai > Talking Walrus

It's funny 'cause it's true.

Agent Proto

08-10-2005, 04:00 PM

Good thing I voted for Flying Mullet. I want ninja to stay unfiltered. :(

Flying Mullet

08-10-2005, 04:09 PM

Just call me Martin Luther.

Madonna

08-10-2005, 04:36 PM

If you were Martin Luther, wouldn't you suddenly b-*shot by sniper*

theundeadhero

08-10-2005, 05:22 PM

Meat Puppet can be a cardinal. As Cardinal it is your job to seek out people to add to the book of HECTICS.

*Primus Inter Pares and Agent Proto added to the book of HECTICS.*

-N-

08-10-2005, 05:26 PM

Chris

08-10-2005, 05:27 PM

Do you accept sexual favors?

Azure Chrysanthemum

08-10-2005, 05:34 PM

No no no, you people got it backwards.

Samurai > Ninja > Pirate.

Flying Mullet

08-10-2005, 05:35 PM

Do you accept sexual favors?
Yes.

Oh, you mean theundeadhero...

escobert

08-10-2005, 05:41 PM

Just call me Martin Luther.
:love: *is protestant*

theundeadhero

08-10-2005, 05:46 PM

Do you accept sexual favors? It depends on what needs done. That, and the condition of Jojo's pants that day.

No no no, you people got it backwards.

Samurai > Ninja > Pirate.
I see that certain aspects of the government are against the Pope doctrine.

Flying Mullet

08-10-2005, 05:47 PM

Does this mean that Jojo has you by the balls?

faster skating penguin

08-10-2005, 05:56 PM

No no no, you people got it backwards.

Samurai > Ninja > Pirate.

And exactly where does the Talking Walrus fall in your little list? :mad2:

theundeadhero

08-10-2005, 06:10 PM

The pope does not wish to take a stand on the issue of talking Walruses.

Meat Puppet

08-10-2005, 06:11 PM

Talking Walruses goes into the book of HECTICS

As with Agent Proto

oh put him in there twice just to be safe

faster skating penguin

08-10-2005, 06:14 PM

Talking Walrus HECTICS-ed? I want nothing to do with this corrupt resigm!

Meat Puppet

08-10-2005, 06:19 PM

... *downloads porn*

The Jamie Star Scenario

08-10-2005, 06:29 PM

When are the n*nja hunts going to start?
And how do we tell? Do n*njas float in water?

Psychotic

08-10-2005, 07:19 PM

Walruses, talking or otherwise > YOU.

kaythanks!

Flying Mullet

08-10-2005, 07:22 PM

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/02/12/review.50.dates/story.walrus.jpg

Karl

08-10-2005, 07:23 PM

If you were Martin Luther, wouldn't you suddenly b-*shot by sniper*

thats martin luther king jr, martin luther founded lutheranism

Meat Puppet

08-10-2005, 07:24 PM

That's funny, because there used to be two girls on my bus that played a similar slapping game but where the exact same sizes as those two.

edit: dammit

KoShiatar

08-10-2005, 08:31 PM

Hooray for the EOFF Pope!!!!

Shoden

08-10-2005, 10:27 PM

i'll be your right hand man of destruction and crap ah w/e

hooray

ninja ninja ninja!!!

walrus taking

i'll only support you if you wash #eoff out and say yes to spam

XxSephirothxX

08-10-2005, 10:32 PM

Can we expect you to form any sort of a stance on heretics, or is it just hectics you're worried about?

Doomie

08-10-2005, 10:40 PM

Can I be the official driver of the Popemoblie?

Shoden

08-10-2005, 10:41 PM

i can be the body guard incase someone tries to kill you i think more people would prefer me shot than you

faster skating penguin

08-11-2005, 03:00 AM

What is the pope's stance on raping children?

Dignified Pauper

08-11-2005, 03:34 AM

I hear an Angry Deity demanding that the pope call forth a crusade against those Heathans at the FFVII forum.

Azure Chrysanthemum

08-11-2005, 04:05 AM

The government's stance is that the Pope exists only by our benevolence and we have the guns manpower secret porno stash banning fingers STUFF to prove it.

theundeadhero

08-11-2005, 07:54 AM

Shoden has been added to the book of HECTICS.

I hear an Angry Deity demanding that the pope call forth a crusade against those Heathans at the FFVII forum.
All in good time. Preparations must be made.

When are the n*nja hunts going to start?Once the Holy Pirate Army has been formed.

And how do we tell? Do n*njas float in water?We'll just have to get a duck and find out.

Walrusfolk cannot be HECTICS. They can be our friends.

Can we expect you to form any sort of a stance on heretics, or is it just hectics you're worried about?
All the heretics can be found in the FFVII forum. No need to look.

-N-

08-11-2005, 09:28 AM

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/02/12/review.50.dates/story.walrus.jpgI don't know if it's because I'm drunk or because Flying Mullet really is funny, but this made me laugh for a long time. xDDDDDDDDD

Loony BoB

08-11-2005, 09:39 AM

Hey, I still wanna be God
Sean Robinson (Cid) is our God. It is written.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/naitsirk/5454.html

Primus Inter Pares

08-11-2005, 09:47 AM

Meat Puppet can be a cardinal. As Cardinal it is your job to seek out people to add to the book of HECTICS.

*Primus Inter Pares and Agent Proto added to the book of HECTICS.*
This better get me more votes at the next screen name comp...

theundeadhero

08-11-2005, 10:42 AM

Flying Mullet, I expect your 500 reforms on my desk by Monday.

Sean Robinson (Cid) is our God. It is written.
The rumors of EOFF being some kind of crazy internet cult have already begun...

gokufusionss1

08-11-2005, 11:11 AM

I'm anglican my loyality is to the queen.

Shoden

08-11-2005, 11:33 AM

EOFF is it's own seperate cyult and religion and our pope runs it under the name of almighty Cid

Sheed pwn Walruses!

Flying Mullet

08-11-2005, 01:44 PM

Flying Mullet, I expect your 500 reforms on my desk by Monday.
500? Pshaw, I'll give you 95 and you'll like it. :chef:

Shoden

08-11-2005, 03:14 PM

yeah get working you Mullet eho flies

Dignified Pauper

08-11-2005, 04:59 PM

Shoden

08-11-2005, 05:06 PM

..... we shall live on the FF7 legacy shall continue for al thats great in the name of Cid!

theundeadhero

08-11-2005, 08:09 PM

There is no time for planning! We must storm the heretics of FFVII NOW! While they devise a plan against you, glorious Pope. We must amass a force, as quickly as possible, thus invading them and burning them at the steaks!!!!!!!! May they burn in Eyes Off Final Fantasy!!!!!
Long have they known their day was coming and they've been preparing. Their spies are everywhere. Alas, they have probably even seen this thread and told it to their ritualistic cult leaders. Be patient or we might be rushing to our doom. The day of these heretics will come soon enough. I fear that Shoden may be one of their spies trying to infiltrate our ranks. This herectic, and HECTIC, will be the first to feel our crusade!

MoonsEcho

08-11-2005, 08:34 PM

Once the Holy Pirate Army has been formed.

This, I will join. How well do holy forces and undead forces really work together, though? O.o

Flying Mullet

08-11-2005, 08:38 PM

Once the Holy Pirate Army has been formed.

This, I will join. How well do holy forces and undead forces really work together, though? O.o
http://dynrec.com/i1/bush_pope.jpg

Hawkeye

08-11-2005, 08:44 PM

Does the EoFF Pope offer this life to celibacy?

WTF IS WITH YOUR LOCATION

And I approve of this mass desruction campaign of the Pope Pirate Army, only if I can be 5th in command

theundeadhero

08-11-2005, 08:50 PM

Jojo's pants are a holy place.

Flying Mullet

08-11-2005, 08:51 PM

Is that why everyone prays after coming in contact with them?

Ahh, where's Jojo when you want to pick on her?

Dignified Pauper

08-11-2005, 09:28 PM

All Hail Pope The Undead Hero!!!!!!

May his reign be long and prosperous, and may he rid the Sacred Land of Jojo's Pants of those Hectic crabs!

Strider

08-11-2005, 09:50 PM

*polite applause*

EDIT:

What's your official Popemobile gonna look like?

Shoden

08-11-2005, 09:52 PM

the FF7 forums are sacred and Jojo's pants are highly holy ground though have sinned

*yay go pope undead hero go*

wait a minute
"I'M NOT A CRAB!"

Odaisé Gaelach

08-11-2005, 10:25 PM

Would you let Robert Langdon back into the Vatican City?

nik0tine

08-11-2005, 11:07 PM

Do you swear to protect the holy sanctity of marriage from those evil gays?

Primus Inter Pares

08-12-2005, 01:01 AM

*repents*

When's the next pope voted in?

*joins Holy Pirate Army*

NINJA!

Jojee

08-12-2005, 08:08 AM

Hahaha, I go into chat and the first thing I'm directed to is this thread xD (I'm back!!) Hi Matt-in-my-pants, glad to see that you are pope ^_~ I think. *dies*

Dignified Pauper

08-12-2005, 08:09 AM

Popes are elected for life. Long Live the Pope!!!!

theundeadhero

08-12-2005, 09:23 AM

What's your official Popemobile gonna look like?
http://www.strangevehicles.com/images/content/4406.jpg

or

http://www.anesi.com/john/hot3.jpg
I haven't decided yet.

may he rid the Sacred Land of Jojo's Pants of those Hectic crabs!
I'm not a crab. I'm a whopping lobster! Check my profile.

Hahaha, I go into chat and the first thing I'm directed to is this thread xD (I'm back!!) Hi Matt-in-my-pants, glad to see that you are pope ^_~ I think. *dies*
I sure am glad to see those sexy Holy pants again.

Dignified Pauper

08-12-2005, 03:56 PM

I didn't say you were, but even the holy place has Hectics.

Meat Puppet

08-12-2005, 04:03 PM

use the t-rex one (imo)

The Jamie Star Scenario

08-12-2005, 05:35 PM

I agree with Meat Puppet, t-rex. Though I think you should use the resources available to you as Pope and breed a real one that you can ride about and shiz.

Shoden

08-12-2005, 05:37 PM

the pope should have a rule in #eoff aswell

Dignified Pauper

08-12-2005, 06:50 PM

I concur. The Pope must visit #eoff. There are sinners there that need saved by the one and only Pope.

SeeDRankLou

08-12-2005, 07:38 PM

Perhaps my biggest challenge will be to bring to light the truth of a certain evil video game. Soon all shall be enlightened and know that FFVII never really exsisted!
I knew there was a reason I voted for you. :love:

theundeadhero

08-13-2005, 06:02 AM

I visit #EOFF as often as I can, but it's kind of limited.

Just a reminder that anything about the Pope shouldn't really spill over into the FFVII thread. Let's leave it in general chat. I'm sure the staff would want it that way.