View Full Version : HALP HALP! (For today tha lattar e will ba raplacad by a)
Psychotic
10-04-2005, 04:36 PM
(but only in thread titles)
I was strolling around campus, as you do, admiring all the clubs and societies and staring at the vikings (there are vikings there but they seem kinda boring as they weren't pillaging or raping anything) when suddenly a guy hands me a bible and I didn't mean to accept it but I was distracted by, as I said, vikings. (I think it was all a fiendish ploy to distract me and then nail me with religion)
I am an atheist and I don't want this bible. But I can't throw it away because that's disrespectful and stuff. If I wanted to show Christians disrespect I'd hurl rocks at them and then maybe burn a church or two down as part of a grand finale. So what do I do with it?
EDIT: Oh and I think vikings might be my weak point so does anyone have any tips on how not to be distracted by vikings? Thanks.
Shoden
10-04-2005, 04:38 PM
sell it on ebay
Cloud No.9
10-04-2005, 04:39 PM
the gideons put a bible in my room. that annoyed me.
Psychotic
10-04-2005, 04:40 PM
Who'd BUY a bible when there are people giving them out for free?
Destai
10-04-2005, 04:42 PM
Put it on your bookshelf. pfft I win.
crashNUMBERS
10-04-2005, 04:42 PM
Whoa. Your in a heavy situation...
Shoden
10-04-2005, 04:44 PM
give it to some random bloke in the street.
Chris
10-04-2005, 04:44 PM
Who'd BUY a bible when there are people giving them out for free?
Then... put it up for sale and then buy it yourself and then sell it again and then spend days looking for it and then give it up.
The Jamie Star Scenario
10-04-2005, 04:46 PM
Read it, it might be kind of interesting. It might even be funny.
crashNUMBERS
10-04-2005, 04:46 PM
Give it to a mate that has a religious background...
Leeza
10-04-2005, 04:52 PM
Blinders, Psy, blinders. If they're good enough for a horse, they're good enough for you. :)
Cloud No.9
10-04-2005, 04:55 PM
keep walking past them and getting more. then build a giant bible fortress.
Hawkeye
10-04-2005, 05:00 PM
Recycle it. Its what God would want
crashNUMBERS
10-04-2005, 05:21 PM
Hence why I claim he should give it to a friend who <I>is</I> religious...
Damn the Gideons. :( I want to catch one with Bill Hicks.
Wear your anti-viking helmet!
Dignified Pauper
10-04-2005, 05:30 PM
Blinders, Psy, blinders. If they're good enough for a horse, they're good enough for you. :)
Recycle it. Its what God would want
WINNERS!
-----------
Everytime you neglect a bible, an Angel loses its wings.
Psychotic
10-04-2005, 05:32 PM
Hence why I claim he should give it to a friend who <I>is</I> religious...I don't have any religious friends! I live in England, not the bible belt :( ...wait, why did that have a sad face? It's a GOOD thing!
I liked Cloud no. 9's Bible Fortress (...Bible Gear?!) idea but I don't really have enough room.
Cut holes into the bibles and place cheese in the hole and then give it to random people.
Old Manus
10-04-2005, 06:01 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v491/oldmanus/bible.jpg
crashNUMBERS
10-04-2005, 06:02 PM
Swiss bibles, ey??
boris no no
10-04-2005, 06:14 PM
in the cold winter months when you cannot afford heating/the damn evil halls managers cut off your power burn the pages
god would want that
you need to live psy HE WANTS YOU TO LIIIIIIIIIIVE!
theundeadhero
10-04-2005, 06:20 PM
You can't beat the Vikings. You should join them. They don't seem to be very good vikings anyway. You should lead them to a new age of plundering and pillaging. Then you can tell the story of how one day God changed your life by having a Bible find it's way into your hands ;)
Sasquatch
10-04-2005, 06:53 PM
Give the Bible to...I dunno. Over here, there's places like Goodwill and St. Vincent De Paul, prettymuch like the Salvation Army. Places that you can donate used/old stuff, and they'll sell it cheap and give most of the profits to charity of some sort. So I'm sure you can find somewhere over there that you can donate it to, right? If not, contact the Gideons, they'll take it back. I have four or five copies of the New Testament and Psalms and Proverbs. I should probably do that sometime soon.
Cloud No.9
10-04-2005, 06:54 PM
introduce the vikings to the christain folk and see who wins in a fight. the big guys with axes or the people with god on their side.
"where's your messiah now?"
Necronopticous
10-04-2005, 07:14 PM
I was handed a pocket-sized bible once in the mall and when I got home I took it out of my pocket and had a bit of hesitation to throw it away, and then I threw it away. No big deal.
Rengori
10-04-2005, 07:19 PM
Give it to some random person distracted by the vikings.
vikings are coll don't diss the vikings *dances*
Hide it and the invite us all on a "Find The Bible Hunt" around your University City.
Whoever finds it first gets a free viking honourship, allowing for 24 hours of pillaging. A bit like Supermarket Sweep, but with less Dale Winton and more Psychosis.
Shlup
10-04-2005, 07:55 PM
Give it to a hobo. Hobos like Jesus.
Captain VooDoo
10-04-2005, 08:09 PM
Draw a face on the bible then every were you go take it with you, talk to it and if anyone asks about it or looks at you funny yell,
"Its my best friend, okay"
then curl up in a ball and start singing,
"I have a friend in Jesus, Jesus loves me so"
and if your really determined to freak people out wear a t-shirt that says jesus loves you,but i'm his favourite.
I was handed a pocket-sized bible once in the mall and when I got home I took it out of my pocket and had a bit of hesitation to throw it away, and then I threw it away. No big deal.The color is Deep Sky Blue. Get it right.
keep walking past them and getting more. then build a giant bible fortress.Best idea so far. :up:
Old Manus
10-04-2005, 09:23 PM
Put them in your chest pocket and ask someone to shoot you there. If you die, you're fucked. If you live, you just got your mate for attempted murder and destroyed a bible.
It's a lose-lose situation
Doomie
10-04-2005, 10:02 PM
Sell it at a used book store.
Haunted
10-04-2005, 10:22 PM
Put them in your chest pocket and ask someone to shoot you there. If you die, you're smurfed. If you live, you just got your mate for attempted murder and destroyed a bible.
It's a lose-lose situation
lol
Zeldy
10-04-2005, 10:25 PM
Rip it up and throw it out the bus window.
School gave us them :(
Lord Xehanort
10-05-2005, 01:24 AM
Find the guy who gave it to you, then slap him with it.
Rip it in half and use it as a coaster.
Burn it.
Keep it as spare toilet paper.
Stuff it in a drawer somewhere and forget it.
Flush it.
It doesn't matter. It is an inanimate object... it can't feel respect or lack thereof. It's like standing for the national anthem: it's a custom, but not necessary. You don't really have a dilemma... just get rid of it.
That's all.
Primus Inter Pares
10-05-2005, 02:30 AM
Eat it, it's surprisingly nutritious :greenie:
's what I did with mine :cool:
Laugh at face of Danger
10-05-2005, 06:02 PM
sign it and sell it
fire_of_avalon
10-05-2005, 09:05 PM
Mail it to me.
Winter Nights
10-05-2005, 09:44 PM
And why can't we just throw it away again? o__O
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