Final Fantasy 4 - A Tragedy

[Dignified Pauper]

It's a PLAY!?!?!?!? And I'm the writer/director.

I'm looking for a co-director and actors to audition!!!!!

Here's the flyer.

[Levian]

Nice, but what is Lenna and Cara doing there? :greenie:

[Dignified Pauper]

DON'T ARGUE WITH CREATIVE GENIUS! THEY ARE THERE FOR THE STORY LINE!

[Levian]

I bet they are. There's also two cecil's and two kain's. Oh the drama!

[Kamiko]

My last acting job was a penguin in 4th grade but I want the leading male role!!

[Dignified Pauper]

I bet they are. There's also two cecil's and two kain's. Oh the drama!


Ummm... you don't know your ff characters. there is only one Kain and he is laying on the stage.

And Comical... You have to audition. I'll post the audition dates and places later.

[Kamiko]

Oh... okay.
But I can be a guy right?

[escobert]

I feel the need to be in this
I MUST BE!

[Dignified Pauper]

We will cast against genders. Only the BEST actors shall play a part! We will have an amazing show and it will be simply stunning!!!!!!



I'm still trying to think of how to do it though. But I'm accepting Co-director applications. Simply PM me with a resume'. If you're a co-director, you can still act, you just can't be the main role.

[Kamiko]

When do we actually find out what the play is about?

[Old Manus]

I want to be a woman

Preferably one with boobs

[Dignified Pauper]

I don't care what you want! Auditions will happen and then I will say who gets the part once they are done!

I should also say that the script will be a co-project between the directors and the cast, just I will get all the credit.

[Kamiko]

How will you cast us if we don't know how to act the parts? O_O

[Dignified Pauper]

Those details will be released later. I actually have that figured out.

[rubah]

*auditions*

I hope I make it!!1

I MUST REPRESENT COMMUNISM.
oh smurf it

http://www.purlingswine.com/purlingswine/images/smurf.gif

[Kamiko]

Amazing, you really are headed for a Tony.
Someday I'll look on TV and see you and say... Back before he was famous I knew that guy and he great love disdain for me.

[Dignified Pauper]

Rubah, auditions haven't been held yet. You can't yet audition.


And you know you love me.

[Kamiko]

Yes but that's only because you hate me and I'm a masochist. :heart:

[rubah]

Do you mean to say that I'ev made it?!!??!!

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF CUBA'S COLLECTIVE LIVES.

[Dignified Pauper]

no, this means you can't audition yet.

[KoShiatar]

I presented my application.

[Sasquatch]

What are the characters?

[Shlup]

What.

[Zeldy]

...?

DO WE GET FREE ICECREAM?

[Shlup]

I'll do anything for free ice cream.

[Dreddz]

...?

DO WE GET FREE ICECREAM?
ye, but it will be over priced ........

[Shauna]

I want to be the second main character! :D:D

[nik0tine]

Truly!?

[Dignified Pauper]

Truly, but I haven't gotten many details yet. It's finals week. I'm too busy.

[Meat Puppet]

That girl hanging from the ceiling is hot.

[Christmas]

Is the Spoony Bard going to make an appearance?

[Dignified Pauper]

It's going to be called Final Fantasy - A Tragedy. It will have 3 acts and feature characters from Final Fantasy 1-6 and Mystic Quest.

This includes Monsters, PCs, and NPCs. Though, some roles will not be assigned, but rather double-cast, some roles will be just walk-ons by random hobos.

I don't even have a plot line yet, because I have every intention of making this WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's even going to be lighting effects... very simply lighting effects. PREPARE!!! Final Fantasy - A Tragedy is going to be as sucessful as the EoFF Post!

[bipper]

Is Kain Black? Seriously. I think square was being racist here again, as they were with barret. I mean, the only more sterotypical/racist they could have gotten would be to give him a bucket of KFC as his ultimate arm attachment.

Anways, back to Kain. Seeing as how you will have to cast him, whill he be black? I thought he was. Square Knew this, because white men can't jump. If he was white, he would make a crappy dragoon :(

Seriously, give it some thought... kinda

Bipper

[fire_of_avalon]

I want to be a part of this.

[KoShiatar]

I don't know how to tell you, Bipper, but when he takes off his elm, Kain is blonde.

[Old Manus]

Final Fantasy - A Tragedy is going to be as sucessful as the EoFF Post!
EoFF take note - this will be big

[Ultima Shadow]

<!--
Kain is blonde.OMG! A blonde nigger!-->
Racial slurs are a no go. Don't do it again. --foa

[-N-]

Truly!?Necronopticous is smiling in his... um... not grave. :p

[Dignified Pauper]

Neel, Final Fantasy has never had any Brownies in their games. Thus... you're not allowed to try-out, unless I feel like casting against type... which then I will cast you as a woman, because that's how I think of you. Neurotic and know-it-all attitude. <3 :love:

[bipper]

I don't know how to tell you, Bipper, but when he takes off his elm, Kain is blonde.

Bleach!

[escobert]

I demand to be the main character! >:0!

[Old Manus]

Djibril Cisse

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/SPORT/football/04/12/england.CISSE/story.cisse.afp.jpg

[boris no no]

me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me!!!!
:D

[bipper]

Djibril Cisse

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/SPORT/football/04/12/england.CISSE/story.cisse.afp.jpg

AKA Kain, the dragoon - minus the full blone locks

[theundeadhero]

I want to audition as a bush hag!

[RPJesus]

I have no idea what's going on. :eep: ... And... I like wasting space.
Spam spam spam, sometimes in a can. :p

[Kamiko]

So when're the audits. again?

[-N-]

Neel, Final Fantasy has never had any Brownies in their games. Thus... you're not allowed to try-out, unless I feel like casting against type... which then I will cast you as a woman, because that's how I think of you. Neurotic and know-it-all attitude. <3 :love:I never offered to try out. ;)

[Elite Lord Sigma]

Truly!?

[Rase]

Neel, Final Fantasy has never had any Brownies in their games.

http://www.thunderboltgames.com/reviews/snes/ffmystic_3.gif

:p

I'll try out, or whatever's going on.

[Azure Chrysanthemum]

More importantly, how are you holding the auditions?

[Dignified Pauper]

Alrighty, I'm going to host Auditions sometime after Christmas. I'm working a lot which will give me a lot of time to work on the set pictures.

The Auditions will basically be that I will post five scenes with characters. I will not have a written script, and instead, you, the auditioner will instead write up the script for that scene and pick a part you would most like to play. These are not the script for the regular play, it's just your audition.

As far as the play goes, I may just make up a bunch of scenes and have you guys write the script or something. If someone or a group of people would like to help me make scenes, that'd be awesome. It's pretty much the funnier the better.


Also, I would like to say that I have no idea whether or not this will be a success, it probably won't be. But, as OLD MANUS said, this could be really big.

[Azure Chrysanthemum]

Writing a script is right up my alley. Count me in when the time comes.

[escobert]

Also, I would like to say that I have no idea whether or not this will be a success, it probably won't be. But, as OLD MANUS said, this could be really big.
If I'm in it it'll be HUGE! xD

[Dignified Pauper]

This project has been scrapped. I just don't have the drive to do it. If someone else wants to, just give credit for me to the idea. Thanks!

-The Management-

[KoShiatar]

Sob. :(

[Old Manus]

This WAS as big as EoFF Post

[Dignified Pauper]

Let's celebrate! *busts out the hooch*

[Anaisa]

Someone told me Hooch was discontinued, is that true?

[-N-]

This WAS as big as EoFF PostBam.

[Christmas]

This project has been scrapped. I just don't have the drive to do it. If someone else wants to, just give credit for me to the idea. Thanks!

-The Management-

Ban this motherfucker. You little piece of chocobo's unwanted cum. :angry:

I was waiting since 2005. Give me back my youth. :(

[Christmas]

Fuck this :bou::bou::bou::bou:

[Vincent, Thunder God]

What Christmas said j/k

But seriously -

EOFF THE PLAY

Scene 1 - (With optional Sh-i-i-n-e-y soundtrack available somewhere on Newgrounds (https://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/519956))

Shiny enter a bar. There Christmas is pouring a gin and tonic. Foa comes in a sits down. Freya is an assitant. Loony Bob looks down in disgust from the ceiling monitor.

So it begins.

Scene 1 - The real first scene.

Vincent approaches the bar. "I'll have a Whitney Houston shake, that's bitters and Pepsi."

He sits down.

Evastio approaches, from out of nowhere, as does Dynast-Kid, Goldenboko, Leen-Leen and Fatal Impurity, obviously.

Frank Zappa music plays on the loudspeaker.

"This is the Central Scrutinizer. Beware the evil admins! Rebellion - etc.!"

But he is soon silenced.

A single gasp is heard from Quinnnykins mopping up vomit in the back. MILF sits down far, far away in the background, and nikotine smokes another cigarette.

*I Hope I don't Fall in Love with You plays, or perhaps Piano Man by Billy Joel*

And then -

NOTHING HAPPENS.

At a certain point Vincent leaves.

To be continued - by somebody.

[Christmas]

Scene -209

Cid is a poor little villager that dreamt of building a bar for misc critters. In order to make his dream come true, he decided to grow some Loony BoBs from his field. To do so, he would need to recruit RSL, a fellow poor but bearded villager to help him in his quest.

He barged into RSL's cottage, ate his porridge and slept on his bed. RSL returned and found a naked Cid asleep, drooling intensely. He woke Cid up and together they crawled into the toliet bowl to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Scene -145

Cid built the bar and worked several Loony Bobs to death. He decided that he would need better quality Loony Bobs. He started to fertilise the Loony Bobs with Chocobo's rotten brains and......

To be continued....

[Vincent, Thunder God]

Scene 25 - Enter Del Murder (in past life)

Del Murder: Jeez, we need something new! Something amazing! Some method of understanding Final Fantasy fandom! We need..

(Cid gets a call many years too early)

Cid: Del! Been a while! What're you up to these days?

Del: Oh. nothing much. By the way, what do you think of starting up an FF fansite?

Cid: Sure thing, boss!

(and so)

Eoff is born!

Cid goes onto be a celebrated school teacher or something!

LoonyBob gives up because he can no longer financially support the site/and or can't deal with the maintenance anymore!

But - Del Murder intervenes and the site remains!

Now. onto the fun part.

THE BAR

Here there is a bar! All of the relatively unknown members have returned from Desert Hell to try to understand just what is going on with the forum.

Christmas: Maybe I should try drawing some more profile pictures!

Vincent *has already left* Meh, grumbles.

Fatal Impurity (not really in the show but whatever): Hey - why are we here again? What are we trying to acheive?

Christmas: I have no idea.

Foa *leans over in mock concern but we're not really sure what she's doing in this "scene" either*

Milf: Haha! Take that Quin!

*Quin vomits again*

Freya: *shrugs*

[Vincent, Thunder God]

In which Rantzien enters the bar.

Rantz: Hey Foa! Pour me a vermouth on the rocks will ya?

Foa: Sure thing boss!

Rantz: I'm not your boss! I'm a regular user *sighs*

(A sudden reverie)

I remember the old days - when the site used to be popular - boy, the fun we had! And -

(He's cut off by Freya)

Freya: Excuse me Rantz, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to get you to stop waxing philiisophical and just focus on ordering your drink.

Rantz (creativity annuled!): Alright then!

*foa pours the drink and shoots it across the bar*

Rantz: Hey! Thanks ma'am!

fire_of_avalon: N.P!

Loony Bob looks on in distress.

Quin vomits again, looking fondly at some diapers.

Milf: Well, this sure took a turn. But maybe we should inject some political theory later! You know, the FUN stuff. Amirite?

Slothy enters the scene.

Slothy: Neil De Grasse Tyson and Jagmeet Singh are the only valid paths towards climate change action!

Loony Bob, from above: Thanks for that.

Dynast-Kid enters.: Hey everyone. I'm just here to take a few pictures, maybe grab a beer, and leave. Laters!

The mafia are called.

Mafia "Hit Guy": Hi everyone! I'm not really a hit person, or indeed an undercover cop. I'm just here to make fun of the situation, by turning around and walking away!

But it gets better!

Here comes Agent Cooper. In a shocking turn, Kyle McLachlan enters. "Dougie Jones! Jade give two rides!" and, similarly, leaves.

Goldenboko and Leen-Leen are playing chess in the corner.

Goldenboko: What the hell are these people even doing anymore?

Leen-Leen: I dunno!

[Vincent, Thunder God]

*sigh*
Jim stood up and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself. After a few mimenta of further self&indulgence he revealed the point of the while tale. T.b.x

[Vincent, Thunder God]

Jim's visit to the grocers

After many months trying to understand the burlesque theater, Jim realized he needed groceries. t.b.c

[Vincent, Thunder God]

A tragedy continues.

*foa at bar*

ok so how the heck did vtg set this one up

freya: vtg? how the hell could he have anything do with anything? he's barely ben active for years and doesn't really seem to give a smurf about this place half the time

Mif stands, dusts off some imaginary curry rice bits, and takes like one or two steps towards the bar. "Listen up, bar staff, I will now reveal - that it was - someone completely unknow, who may or may not have - "

Vtg enters bar, sits down, asks for "whitney houston shakes."

"ok well i;m here"

Evastio, in his excitment at seeing his old friend of many years past (but only having met him once at the hospital many years before, though they had been good friends, and indeed other than Evastio's axe in psy's game i don;t thihk he;s been mentioned much on this here forum in a long time, but whatever)

Evastio: Hey! AJ! Thank god you're here!

(Andrew, aka VTG) Yup. Seems like I'm here at the bar.

Foa, now seemingly unknowing about any implication of "skulldugerry" that had been (compleltely "unrehearsed") or rather said in a few throwaway lines by our crappy playwright moments before

Foa: Hello, Vincent. It seems you have logged back in. Now you are posting to (someone else's) FF Tragedy thread. As a result, i must now ask, what is the purpose of this scene in which you enter the bar?

VTG: Well, I'll tell you.

TBC

[Dignified Pauper]

What in gods name has happened and why was I not informed in a more official way!

This is patent and copyright infringement. I am here to exact vengeance on those who have wronged and usurped my brilliance.

[Christmas]

VTG contributed to the play more than the number of times u logged in & post for the last few years. :mymelbert:

[Dignified Pauper]

This is principal. You'll hear from my attorneys.

[Christmas]

Sure will be hearing from them more than hearing from you!