Funny Quotes

[Blue-Fire]

What funny quotes have you heard?
1."I'm not mean.You're just a sissy."
2."Men are like dogs...dumb but trainable."(sorry to the guys that read this...i thought this was funny...:D )
These were the ones I found. . .

[radyk05]

from a movie? from a song?

"Tommy, the tit, is praying. And if he isn't he f***ing should be"
- Turkish from Snatch

"What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn't know you had any feelings."
- Megadeth from Peace Sells but Whos Buying

*picks ups a light bulb*
"Hey, another of your ideas fell down."
"How do you know its mine?"
"Because its a 25 watts."
- 25 Watts (uruguayan movie)

[Dark Magic User]

"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're stupid."
"I'm busy,you're stupid. Have a nice day!"
just something random...i dont remember where i've seen/read them, though...

[Blue-Fire]

"What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn't know you had any feelings?"
- Megadeth from Peace Sells but Whos Buying
i've heard that one b4, but i cant remember where...

[kikimm]

Since we're in The Lounge, just pick movie/TV quotes.

I think I'm going to be forever repeating that rap I saw on Reno 911 the other day. The rap, along with "And the installation is freeeeeeeeeee"

xD

[ThroneofDravaris]

“Don’t worry Lois, I just read an interesting book on this sort of thing.”

“Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn’t nothing?”

“….

…Oh yeah.”

-Peter and Brian, Family Guy

[ZeZipster]

"Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. God knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them."

[Starcrest]

"The conundrum of what happens when 'an unstoppable force meets an imovable object' was solved when Vin Diesle hit himself in the face."

"Chuck Norris once shot a plane out of the sky by pointing at it with his finger and yelling BANG."

[Psydekick]

"My name is agustes gllop I love your chocolate" "I can see that" it doesen't sound to funny but the way Johhny depp says it is really funny.

[Blue-Fire]

i just found a new one:
"You're funny but looks arent everything"

[Markus. D]

Faye Faye, Puff puff, smoke smoke.

- Cowboy Bebop

I found it amuseing.

[Skarr]

“There are three things that I hate... kids, animals, and women with attitudes. So tell me, why are all three of them neatly gathered on our ship?!”

Spike from Cowboy Bebop.

[Suikojowy]

http://bash.org/?75154

Won't directly post it here because of the strong language.

[Skarr]

"b---h, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money"

Damn.


Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."

Damn. :/

[Buddhist Monkey]

"I love the internet -- Now we've got all these once "gangsta" rappers telling us not to download music because it's stealing." *cough* "Sorry, I'm choking on irony."
- Some comedian.

"They caught us doing some NO parent should see their child engaged in.."
"F@#$ing?"
"No, worse."
"Butt-F@#$ing!?"
- Dante & Randal, Clerks Lost Scene.

"I work at a SH1TTY video store, I want to go to a GOOD video store so I can rent a GOOD movie!"
- Randal, Clerks.

[Shadow The Red XIII Thing]

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it
Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps,
which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store.
On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or
testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be
getting out of control. - Jack Handey:D
or
"If you love her, let her go. If she doesn't come back, she's probably with my brother.." Sabin FF6
or
When asked why he would help Terra Branford, a girl with magical powers: "I'll give you three reasons: First of all, your beauty has captivated me! Second...I'm dying to know if I'm your type... I guess your...abilities...would be a distant third." Edgar FF6