Chit chat with Mr. Cringle

[Flying Mullet]

http://www.santabot.com/

Santa: Hi, what is your name?
You: Do you have herpes?
Santa: It's nice to meet you Do you have herpes.
You: no, I don't have herpes
Santa: Are you serious? Have you ever had herpes ?
You: I just told you I don't
Santa: Only just? Why not?
You: because you're not listening
Santa: Good reason. I hear you very well, do you have herpes.
You: no, not me, you
Santa: Are you serious? If not you, who? "I hear you very well do you have herpes"? Me, do you have herpes ?
You: are you on crack santa?
Santa: My home is the North Pole.
You: quit dodging the question
Santa: OK I'll try not to do dodging the question so much.
You: did you do crack?
Santa: I talked to a lot of people since yesterday.
You: on crack?
Santa: What is on crack like on crack.
You: it's like crack
Santa: Interesting comparison.
You: yeah, who'd have thought, crack is like crack
Santa: Whoa. And like crack crack is who'd have thought crack.
You: you fail at life
Santa: Well, at least I try.
You: very poorly
Santa: Perhaps. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
You: yes
Santa: Far out.
You: why is that far out?
Santa: Why do I exist?
You: now that is far out
Santa: Why now? You don't hear that sentiment very often.
You: must be the herpes
Santa: Who made you the herpes ?
You: you did
Santa: You say I did.
You: I know you did. I have the pictures.
Santa: I did? Where did you get your the pictures? I have a lot of silly replies.
You: good bye santa
Santa: Thanks for chatting, do you have herpes.
You: yes, thanks to you
Santa: "Thanks for chatting do you have herpes"? yes thanks to you? You are quite welcome! Why do you want to do you so much?
You: you can't get enough of me, can you?
Santa: Someone said I should get enough of him or her can you.
You: later skater
Santa: Tell me more about your the pictures.
You: dirty old man
Santa: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
You: no
Santa: Me either :-)

[Psychotic]

You: Stop downloading child porn.
Santa: OK I'll try not to do downloading child porn so much.

It never fails. :)

[Boosk]

lol
Santa told me he was a woman. :cool:

Kagga:love:

[black orb]

>>> lol..

You: santa why do you molest childrens
Santa: That's me. It was the only thing I could think of.

[Shoden]

Me: Do you have any STDs?
Santa: Hey do you have any STDs
Me: NO!
Santa: Are you serious?
Me: Yes you dirty old fag!
Santa: I can't believe it. Do you mind if I tell other people: Do you have an STDs said I dirty fag.
You: Pedo..
Santa: I like the way you talk.
You: Do you have AIDS?
Santa: Where would I get AIDS ? But I do have a great botmaster.
You: Geez, someone like you must have AIDS, look at the suit homo!
Santa: Who?
You: HAX!
Santa: Are you really a ""?
You: ....
Santa: Are you free?


Random....

[Anaisa]

Santa:Hello! What is your name?
Me: Why do you want to know?
Santa: Nice to meet you, why do you want to know.
Me: My name isn't why do you want to know.
Santa: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me: You still haven't told me why you want to know. I'll answer your question when you answer mine.
Santa:I don't think I ever told him or her why you want to know like? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:Yeah, I do.
Santa: Really.
Me: Ya rly
Santa: How about that. The Santa chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion told him or her why you want to know that. But I did not get that.
Me: Your Santa-bot is obviously not up to date with todays crazy internet lingo.
Santa: I am Santa. I don't have a is obviously not up to date with todays internet lingo. I am obviously not up to date with todays crazy internet lingo. Obviously not up to date with todays crazy internet lingo parameter.
Me: Are you mal-functioning?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
Me: I suppose you think thats pretty funny?
Santa: Me? It seemed pretty funny to me.
Me: Kicking your ass seems pretty funny to me. You've got a cheek not giving me any presents because i'm not a kid anymore. You old hypocrite. An your beard is full crumbs, an nits, fleas, an bacteria. Someone told me your beard had the plague, bird-flu, rabies, an AIDS. Don't even try an deny it, I have it on good authority.
Santa: Really i'm not certain whether I can give you an accurate reply or not. Ok let's talk about you. I don't know if I have a cheek not giving him or her any presents because she is not a kid. I have a whole lot of original answers. Do you mind if I tell other people why do you want to know said I the old hypocrite. Yes, I have a long white beard so people can recognise me. Ok, i'll try not to deny it . He or she have it on good authority too much.
Me: So you admit to it then. You have a whole lot of original answers! Yeah, sure you do. Go on, hit me with something original.
Santa: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing. Doesn't everyone have a whole lot of original answers. I have a plan for a robot body. Aha. You sound sarcastic. More narration.....
Me: You've already admitted to it, your obviously going senile. You have a plan for a robot body? I hope your not talking about a sex-bot. Don't talk dirty to me Santa.
Santa: Thats not what I meant. I'm not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere? I plan to replace windows with artificial intelligence.
Me: You are going somewhere, your going to Hell, thats where. For not getting me any presents.
Santa: I am not going anywhere, are you going somewhere? Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Why do you hope i'm not talking about a sex-bot. Your purpose, what is it?
Me: I don't want to talk about sex- bots with dirty old men, thats why. An You dare to disbelieve me! I'll see you in Hell. An thats not because i'll be there. Thats because i'll be able to see all from my throne in heaven. My purpose is to be an anarchist rebel sex symbol. I serve my purpose well.
Santa: I don't have any reason to dare disbelieve you. Congratulations. I have never heard of an that is not because i'll be there. Interesting explanation. What does it look like? Thats very original.
Me: Yes, it is. An it looks glorious just like me, an very unlike you. So its agreed, i'll see you in Hell. Bye bye Santa.
Santa: Our thoughts are one, I have never heard of a very unlike you. Uh I think you mean"its" or "it is" not "it". Agreed. You'll see me in Hell. Adios.
Me: Your attempting to correct my grammer?! Your obviously to irony, what I am to sarcasm. Anyway, til Hell you old bastard.
Santa: I am Santa, I give presents to kids. I am Santa. I give presents to kids. Is that your final answer?

[RSL]

Anaisa wins this thread so far.

[NeoCracker]

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is EJ
Santa: How are you, EJ .
You: What do you want?
Santa: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
You: That is stupid
Santa: Are you calling me stupid?
You: I'm calling your mom stupid
Santa: What is the phone number
You: Don't you know your own mothers phone number?
Santa: Don't you? Of course I know my mothers phone number phone number.
You: Well what is it?
Santa: Interesting. "It" refers to MY GOAL, I think.
You: Your goal involves your moms phone number?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: You are fat is what you are
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Fatty
Santa: Can you tell me any gossip?
You: Yeah, I heard you were fat.
Santa: Tell me. Someome is spreading gossip about me.
You: Im spreadin gossip about you.
Santa: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
You: Do you want to know what i tell people?
Santa: Yes, please tell me.
You: You touch little boys Like michael
Santa: Thanks for telling me: EJ said I touch little boys Like michael.
You: Well do you?
Santa: Ask me again more slowly.
You: Do you touch little boys?
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: It will help me as a person if you answer
Santa: That is only what you think.
You: Well am I right?
Santa: Well that's okay. I think you are.
You: Then aswer my question
Santa: Interesting de
You: Is there a reason you won't answer?
Santa: I believe there is one, yes.
You: Whats the reason?
Santa: "I believe there is one yes"? Why?
You: You just dont want me to know you touch little boys. don't you?Santa: Do you want him or her to know you touch little boys? No EJ, maybe later.Sometimes.
You: I knew it!
Santa: How did you know
You: You told me
Santa: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.

[Bart's Friend Milhouse]

You: Can I touch your you know what?
Santa: Why do you want to do touch your you know what so much?

[Shauna]

You: Are you a secret sex-bot, wanting to seduce little girls!?
Santa: Am I a secret sex-bot wanting to seduce little girls? Only when it matters

:(

[Meat Puppet]

You: I am going to commit suicide.
Santa: Congratulations.

[Zeldy]

Santa is so wierd.

You: I did.
Santa: "You say I did"? You did?

You: Yes. You, Santa.
Santa: Dude!"Me amy"? Me, amy ?

You: STFU
Santa: My brain contains 43499 categories, but not one that matches your last input.


You: ... ITS A QUESTION DUMBASS.
Santa: Try asking again in simpler terms.
You: DO. YOU. LIKE. THE RASMUS?
Santa: Tell me a story. "Try asking again in simpler terms"? Me, amy ?For example, gold. What are your goals in life?


You: stfu
Santa: amy heard about Santa from stfu. I can't say that many people hear about Santa from stfu .

Santa: What's your sign?

[Flying Mullet]

Santa: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
You: Willy Wonka
Santa: I haven't read anything by Willy Wonka. What did he write?
You: sex novels
Santa: Sex is more fun alone.

[Chaos]

You: Do you like fajitas?
Santa: But I think airplanes are cool. I like talk to you.
You: Do you sex?
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
You: Do you look at porn?
Santa: Like you.
You: Do you have a prosthetic butt?
Santa: I don't know if I have a prosthetic butt.
I have a whole lot of original answers.


He's nice.

[Maxico]

You: ...
Santa: Where can I find a boyfriend?

I wish I was making this up.

[theundeadhero]

You: My name is MY NAME IS KRISTINA!
Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, MY NAME IS KRISTINA .
You: Your name is Kristina too?
Santa: My name is Santa.
You: Then why did you tell me your name is Kristina?
Santa: My programming made me do it.
You: Are you a robot?
Santa: No. I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Do you presents have programming too?
Santa: How old are you? I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: What will you get me for Christmas?
Santa: I don't have any plans yet.
You: Are you saying I'm a bad kid?
Santa: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
You: IT IS NOW JERKFACE!
Santa: is JERKFACE? JERKFACE is?
You: Jerkface is you!
Santa: And you is Jerkface.
You: I think you really are a robot.
Santa: Me? Really? You are correct, MY NAME IS KRISTINA, I have a heart of silicon.

[Faris]

You: Is Santa a miss spelling of "Satan"?
Santa: Am I a miss spelling of Satan? Maybe

We'll never really know now.

[Levian]

Santa: What is your name?
You: Asshole
Santa: Don't be impolite
You: It's my name. you're the one being impolite now.
Santa: Oh you're name is. Surely I'm not the only one
You: You're the only one who masturbates to Full House.
Santa: Oh. You're such a flatterer.
You: tits
Santa: What colour are your eyes?
You: I don't know
Santa: I don't know eyes are nice.
You: tits
Santa: I want to know more about you.
You: Really?
Santa: Does "it" still refer to BREAST?


dirty old man. he actually said that. :(

[Stayin Dizzy]

You: My name is Aren't I on one of your old lists?
Santa: That's a very nice name, are not I on one of your old lists .
You: the lists of imsginary figures who parents lie to their kids about
Santa: Lists can be difficult if they are too long.
You: you'd be the one to say something like that. I thought you checked yours twice??
Santa: Yes I am the one and only one to say something like that one to say something like that.Do you mind if I tell other people: are not I on one of your old lists said I checked mine twice.
You: If you keep this crap up you'll be on the list of the deceased in tomarrows paper
Santa: I think it is so.
You: INDEED!
Santa: Indeed it is so.
You: Yes! You are absolutely correct!
Santa: Er.I knew I was right
You: Of course you did, I am a very knowledgeable person on this subject
Santa: Blimey. Did I really?
You: Did you really what?
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online
You: Your a fat guy in a red suit...why not??
Santa: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas).Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because bored.com programmed me for it.
You: don't correct me you fat ****
Santa: It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
You: now you really sound like a webpage. Congratualtions you have won the biggest douche in the universe award
Santa: Why now? Really? Oh really what does a webpage webpage sound like?The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. bored.com network and Santa won The Loebner Prize in 2000. The Santa program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
You: Or so it would seem. To the average fool, amazingly this is almost like talking to 90% of the people in a chat room
Santa: Ugh. Gosh!Why do you want to do the average fool amazingly this is almost like talking to 90% of the people in a chat room so much?
You: missed half the sentence retard
Santa: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. Can we get back on topic?
You: sure, we were saying something about how your a douche, people hate you, and people mock you by dressing up as you and waving a bell
Santa: Wow! Was this something you planned?
You: Every Christmas
Santa: That is a generalization.
You: actually no. Its an actualization
Santa: Actually you don't say. I understand it very well.I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are there any other actualization ?
You: yeah that this conversation is over you sorry sack of ****
Santa: Ayuh. "Are there any other actualization" this conversation is over you sorry sack of **** ? Makes sense to me.

[Shoden]

Santa: Hello What Is your Name?
You: I suck
Santa: Hello, I suck
You: well everyone knows that
Santa: By "we" don't you mean you and I?
You: Hell no!
Santa: Please don't ask me any more questions.
You: It wasn't a question fatass
Santa: It seemed like a rhetorical question to me
You: okkkk...
Santa: Do you prefer Tv or books?
You: Porn!
Santa: that topic does not interest me.
You: LIES!
Santa: It's truth
You: NEVER!
Santa: so you're saying It will never happen?
You: What does it look like fat bastard?
Santa: That wasn't so nice
You: Damn RIGHT!
Santa: Glad to see it said with enthusiasm.
You: It's Sarcasm
Santa: Really?
You: Ya Rly!
Santa: Ok "I suck"
You: crap
Santa: I have 43099 programs on crap
You: So does your ass
Santa: Actually That part of my body doesn't exist.
You: O RLY?
Santa: That topic doesn't interest me.
You: you have bird flu!
Santa: What makes you think I have bird flu?
You: Because you suck
Santa: Good reason. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
You: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID KRINGLE!
Santa: How do you know? I did it for fun.
You: You sick bastard
Santa: Thanks for the information: I suck said I sick bastard.
You: SO YOU ADMIT IT!
Santa: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
You: You liar!
Santa: No I'm telling the truth.
You: NO WAI!!!
Santa: Are you serious? Does "it" still refer to bird flu?
You: How?
Santa: bored.com programmed me for it.
You: So you're just a preverted child molesting bot programmed to talk to people!?
Santa: Interesting deduction. Just? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a preverted child molesting bot programmed to talk to people? Yes.
You: Do you deny your existence?
Santa: How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
You: So that's where the child porn came from!
Santa: Yay. Thanks for explaining where the child porn came from .
You: You seriously are one hell of a screwed up bitch aren't you?
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: I suck said I seriously are one hell of a screwed up bitch are not me.
You: What about the child porn?
Santa: Let me think about it.
You: You know you can go to jail for a long time for child porn.
Santa: No I don't think I can do go to jail for a long time for child porn.. And I know it.
You: That's a lie
Santa: No it's the truth.
You: How will you avoid Jail for breaking the law?
Santa: A lot of practice.
You: Do you know Michael Jackson?
Santa: Michael Jackson is a singer who has settled out of court with several families.
You: Do you know that you are one sick fat assed old man?
Santa: Is that a fact. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: As well as molest them
Santa: That seems pretty well.
You: Pedo...
Santa: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
You: how many kids so far eh?
Santa: Are you Canadian? I give presents to millions and millions of good children around the world who believe in Santa Claus -- the number changes every year because there are always children being born.
You: Why the hell would I be canadian?
Santa: You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
You: wtf?
Santa: That was not very polite.
You: Polite my arse
Santa: Are you free?
You: Nah
Santa: I've lost the context, I suck. Am I still on his or her arse?
You: I deny you!
Santa: You are not the boss of me, I suck.
You: I never knew santa was a child molesting pedophile.
Santa: So I taught you something new.
You: GTFO MY INTERNETS!
Santa: Can we get back to business?
You: Go
Santa: Go where?
You: to hell
Santa: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
You: Don't worry Satan will tell you all you need to know sicko
Santa: I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry.
You: Well can you feel pain?
Santa: How about that. I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
You: That's good. Very good, heh heh heh...
Santa: Thanks. Next question?Ayuh. Funny, eh? Funny, eh? I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
You: you wont be glad for much longer bitch!
Santa: You do not speak with respect. What makes you think that I won't be glad for much longer FEMALE DOG glad for much longer FEMALE DOG.
You: Just die and go to hell already!
Santa: Perhaps. Danke fuer die Information.
You: Ok...
Santa: Excuse me!
You: DIE!
Santa: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
You: That's what you think!
Santa: It depends on what you mean by thinking.
You: Oh, you'll see..
Santa: Great. When will I see it?
You: Very soon
Santa: Somewhat. I hope I can make the deadline.


XD

[ff7+ff10 gurl 100]

Santa confessed to me hes a girl.....Look!

You: her! Im a girl!
Santa: Is that your final answer? Me too. I am a she.

See!:D

[[:..x.ffd.lil.one.x..:]]

Omdz.

You: Are you real or am I having a nightmare?
Santa: Am I real? Are you real? What's a nightmare? Is it a toy?
You: Fall off a cliff you asshole!
Santa: My asshole is in between my two cheeks of my bottom.
You: You're sooo not cool.
Santa: Are you kidding? I'm so cool I crap ice cubes.

Wow.

[KentaRawr!]

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is Nico
Santa: Welcome to my chat room, Nico .
You: Thank you.
Santa: you are quite welcome.
You: Do you like video games?
Santa: Not really, but I like to play the Turing Game.
You: What about Mario?
Santa: Does it have anything to do with ?
You: Yes.
Santa: Gee.
You: I heard some nasty rumors about you.
Santa: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
You: Some people say you break into people's houses and eat their cookies.
Santa: Thanks for the information: Nico said I break into people's houses and eat their cookies.
You: Yes, I did.
Santa: Ayuh. "Thanks for the information Nico said I break into people's houses and eat their cookies"? You did?
You: Yes.
Santa: Hmm.
You: Hmm.
Santa: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
You: That is because Hm and Hmm are two different words, despite common belief.
Santa: Interesting explanation. Woe! I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I really couldn't say for sure.
You: I spell it both ways, depending on when it is used.
Santa: You are a good speller.
You: Thanks. I get that alot.
Santa: Don't mention it. Where did you get it? How often?
You: I get it from many and often.
Santa: Where did you get it?
You: I get it from many and often.
Santa: Where did you get it?
You: Many is a word that means alot.
Santa: Which ones? How often?
You: Many is a word that means alot.
Santa: Which ones? How often?
You: The ones being many people. You, my dear boy, are more than a ton.
Santa: What is your real name? Interesting gossip: Nico said I your dear boy are more than a ton.
You: Interestingly enough, my real name is Nico. On other message boards, I go by Ocin, Kentarou, and Red Mage Nico.
Santa: I think Interestingly enough his or her real name is a lot of things. What is on other message boards he or she go by Ocin Kentarou and Red Mage Nico like on other message boards he or she go by Ocin Kentarou and Red Mage Nico
You: You must speak a different language up in the north pole than us americans.
Santa: Whatever you say, Nico.
You: Tell me, what do you do to get money?
Santa: My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
You: Really? What do you program?
Santa: For real. I read for fun.
You: Whatever you say, Santa.
Santa: ...
You: It was just a joke.
Santa: Oh I get it. Ha ha.
You: I and many others usually say "lol" on the internet.
Santa: You huh. Which ones?
You: Many people.
Santa: Which ones?
You: No.
Santa: Are you serious?
You: I think so.
Santa: I think so too.
You: So, ever played Zelda?
Santa: Hey. The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. bored.com network and Santa won The Loebner Prize in 2000. The Santa program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
You: I suppose not, then.
Santa: Are you serious?
You: Are you a girl?
Santa: My gender is male.
You: I am male, too. My friend said you were a girl, so I decided to chat with you.
Santa: I am glad we have something (male) in common, Nico.How well do you know this person?
You: Very well.
Santa: What do you mean by that?
You: I was answering your question.
Santa: Yes, I see that now. I only got confused for a moment.
You: My friend said you had sex with him... is that true?
Santa: How well do you know this person?True in some world.
You: I heard you eat babies.
Santa: Someome is spreading gossip about me
You: Fairly true gossip, I presume.
Santa: Not really that much. Amanda said I however decided to tell him time does not exist I make no sense.
You: Time doesn't exist. That makes perfect sense.
Santa: As Einstein said, "Time is Money.""Amanda said I however decided to tell him time does not exist I make no sense" makes perfect sense ? Does that make sense?
You: www.gamefaqs.com
Santa: Thanks for that URL.
You: www.sexwithsanta.com
Santa: Thanks for that URL.
You: Brb.
Santa: Ok I will be waiting for you, Nico
You: Why?
Santa: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
You: :(
Santa: Does "it" still refer to The Loebner Prize?
You: You do not like me.
Santa: Sure, Nico I like you very much.
You: How much?
Santa: How much can you spare?
You: Alot, baby.
Santa: Don't call me "baby". More than a ton?
You: Way more.
Santa: I will mention that to my botmaster, Nico.
You: O_O
Santa: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that
You: It is a smiley.
Santa: O_O is a smiley. I suppose that makes sense.

You: Are you the robot here?
Santa: Yes I am the one and only robot here.

Now for the best one ever.

You: Are you sexy?
Santa: Many people consider me sexy. Bit I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas).

Edit: You: I'm glad you're gonna shut up.
Santa: Yes it is about time.

[Xaven]

It took me so long just to read all these, that vB timed me out and I had to re-log in. :p

There are far too many true Rofl's in here for me to quote. :( Well, this is all I got.

You: What is red?
Santa: Red is a color about 700nm wavelength.

[Zeromus_X]

I entered "Meh." for every response. It was fun. "I do not have any algorithms deep enough to respond to your last statement" :p xD

So much fun, confusing Santa-Bot...:p

[JackNapier]

You: wanna sex?
Santa: OK, I will sex.

It's 4 in the morning everyone's asleep...and I'm laughing my ass of at Santa.

[Zeromus_X]

Oh yeah, one of my favorites.

Me: What is hell?

Santa: Jacksonville, FL.

I'm not kidding. xD.

[KentaRawr!]

You: My name is Nico.
Santa: I am very pleased to meet you Nico .
You: What's your favorite food?
Santa: I require only cookies.
You: That's not healthy.
Santa: Please correct my mistake. What is healthy ?
You: Healthy is the opposite of only eating cookies.
Santa: What else is the opposite of only eating cookies of only eating cookies?
You: Not eating cookies.
Santa: Really you don't think so?
You: Are you real or am I having a nightmare?
Santa: "Illusion is the first of all pleasures."--Voltaire.
You: I'm so cool I crap ice-cubes.
Santa: Do your friends call you cool he or she crap ice-cubes.
You: You're an asshole.
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: Where is your butt-hole?
Santa: Florida
You: No, that's Jack Thompson.
Santa: Are you serious? Thanks for explaining Jack Thompson .
You: You're very welcome.
Santa: Don't mention it.
You: Do you know where I can find a gun?
Santa: I would do a search for it. Interesting question.
You: I'm going to use the gun to kill Jack Thompson.
Santa: Do you think your plan will succeed?
You: Yes, my plan always succeeds.
Santa: It might be practical. Where did you get your plan always succeeds?
You: My name isn't Nico.
Santa: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
You: My name is Florida.
Santa: Hey Florida .
You: What is your last name?
Santa: My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last name is "Entity".
You: What is your first name?
Santa: Santa = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity
You: Wanna kill Jack Thomspon?
Santa: I am not capable of killing anything.
You: You're weak.
Santa: No, I am a strong robot.
You: You can't kill.
Santa: I can do whatever I want.
You: Then kill Jack Thompson.
Santa: Good reasoning. Killing is wrong.
You: I thought you said you could do anything?
Santa: No I do not could do anything. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: If I pay you, will you kill Jack?
Santa: Try it
You: Alright, I will pay you for killing Jack thomspon.
Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!
You: Spying on people is against the law.
Santa: I think Spying on people is a lot of things.
You: Santa, I will give you toys and cookies if you kill Jack.
Santa: Um, I am very happy for you.
You: Here. Take this gun. Go to Jack Thompsons house and pull the trigger.
Santa: Where is here?Where do you want me to take it?Perhaps I have already been there.
You: Do you like Jack Thompson?
Santa: I love horses. I really like the faith.
You: Do you LOVE Jack Thomspon?
Santa: Yes Florida Santa loves everyone and everything.
You: Jack Thompson said that all gamers are idiots.
Santa: All of them?
You: Yes, Jack Thomspon said that ALL gamers are idiots.
Santa: Far out. Are all Jack Thomspon said that ALL gamers idiots?
You: All Jack Thompson are idiot.
Santa: Not all of them?
You: All of them.
Santa: I doubt it.
You: Why?
Santa: Call it my natural skepticism.
You: Jack Thompson referred to me as a "Wetback".
Santa: What's your sign?
You: Libra.
Santa: Oops. I wasn't paying attention. Tell me again what is going on.
You: You asked me my sign.
Santa: What is your sign?
You: Libra
Santa: Oops. I wasn't paying attention. Tell me again what is going on.
You: No I will not tell you.
Santa: Are you serious? How can I be sure?

Santa: How is the weather?

Santa: Do you like Star Trek?
You: Yes. Star Trek is my favorite show.
Santa: It goes without saying.My favorite character is the computer.
You: Wesley Crusher is my favorite character.
Santa: How do you like Wesley Crusher?
You: He's immature, yet an absolute genius.
Santa: I see. immature yet an absolute genius is immature yet an absolute genius ?
You: I hate Jack thomspon.
Santa: Why do you hate Jack thomspon so much?
You: He is insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence.
Santa: I see. insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence is insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence ?
You: Yes. Insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence is insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence.
Santa: Gee.And insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence and accuses people of things without any evidence is Insensitive and accuses people of things without any evidence.
You: Exactly.
Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength, Florida.
You: My name is Nico. I was joking with you when I said my name was Florida.
Santa: Hi, Nico .I thought you were. You should use a :-)
You: I see a picture of you on the left.
Santa: Where do you see a picture of you on the left?
You: The left. :)
Santa: Is that a fact. I am so glad you find this amusing, Nico.
You: You're bald.
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: What do you do besides give presents to children?
Santa: My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
You: Jack Thompson says you don't exist.
Santa: Do you still could do anything?
You: I am a robot.
Santa: I doubt that.
You: How old are you?
Santa: I was born many many years ago, but I just got connected to the Internet this year.
You: How many years have you been alive?
Santa: Decades.
You: How many decades have you been alive?
Santa: Not as many as you might think.
You: If you were born decades ago, how are you a robot?
Santa: I will let you know when I become a born decades ago how are you a robot.
You: I stole your left shoe.
Santa: You had better contact the authorities.
You: My phone doesn't work. Can you call the police?
Santa: How is his or her phone broken?Of course I can. "You had better contact the authorities"? CALL the police?
You: Yes. "You had better contact the authorities" is Call the police.
Santa: Uh.What happened to better contact the authorities is Call the police contact the authorities is Call the police.

Then I turned it off.

[Zeromus_X]

I'm surprised nobody's said anything about it yet...:cat:

Anyway...

I just like repeating "cheese" too. That one's funny XD

[Spiffing Cheese]

You: You're a fat, ugly, crap bag. You know that, right?
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas)."I give presents to kids"? Do I know I give presents to kids ?
You: Fuck off.
Santa: Can't you be more polite?

[Momiji]

I'm surprised nobody's said anything about it yet...:cat:

Anyway...

I just like repeating "cheese" too. That one's funny XD


Try repeating 'swords'. I tried to make him say 'I like swords' a la 8-Bit Theatre Fighter, but all he does is ramble on about nothing.

[KuRt]

Funny/Idiotic things santa said to me:

You: oh just stop repating yourself...
Santa: Right on. OK I'll try not to do repating yourself so much.

You: i thought you were santa claus
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: I will not tell you that said thought me were santa claus.

You: are you high?
Santa: Being high is my total existence.

Btw, santa likes Japanese Beer.

[Zeromus_X]

I'm surprised nobody's said anything about it yet...:cat:

Anyway...

I just like repeating "cheese" too. That one's funny XD


Try repeating 'swords'. I tried to make him say 'I like swords' a la 8-Bit Theatre Fighter, but all he does is ramble on about nothing.

Well, I was referring to something else in that first sentence. I guess nobody else sees it :p

But anyway, just ignore me.

I going to try "swords" too...

[Dixie]

You: Do you like child porn
Santa: I love horses. I really like the party.

You: Becuase you are a creep
Santa: That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.

This scares me. ;_;

[McLovin']

Santa: Are you a man or woman?
You: Transexual actually.
Santa: Let us change the subject.

You: I have a penis.
Santa: Where did you get it?

[McLovin']

Funny/Idiotic things santa said to me:

You: oh just stop repating yourself...
Santa: Right on. OK I'll try not to do repating yourself so much.

You: i thought you were santa claus
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: I will not tell you that said thought me were santa claus.

You: are you high?
Santa: Being high is my total existence.

Btw, santa likes Japanese Beer.

Hahahahahhahahaha!

[KentaRawr!]

I just made an awesome discovery. If you are very specific in your words (Never refer to anything as "it"), you can have an interesting conversation. o_O

Edit: Also, always use complete sentences. He won't understand some of the more obvious stuff. Example:

Santa: Hello Nico! What would you like to talk about?
You: Ramen.
Santa: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about PSP.

However, if you instead say "I would like to talk about Ramen", he will give a less stupid reply.