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Flying Mullet
03-10-2006, 12:50 PM
:happybday Chuck Norris!

http://totalworkout.homestead.com/files/chuck2.jpg
Levian
03-10-2006, 01:00 PM
It'd be more awesome if he was born on 4th of july. Oh, and I'm not going to congratulate him. He'll just roundhouse me in the face.
NeoCracker
03-10-2006, 01:03 PM
Worst birthday thread ever.
Flying Mullet
03-10-2006, 01:14 PM
WorstBest birthday thread ever.
NeoCracker
03-10-2006, 01:15 PM
I hate you mullet,
Markus. D
03-10-2006, 02:24 PM
I am ze only person who can counter Chuck Norris's Chuck Norrisness.

happy birthday.
Pheesh
03-10-2006, 02:49 PM
I'll chuck your norris. But seriously...chuck norris can't get older, being the equivelent to god on earth and all, which therefor makes this thread pointless.

Stay Essential
EE
NeoCracker
03-10-2006, 02:52 PM
I'll chuck your norris. But seriously...chuck norris can't get older, being the equivelent to god on earth and all, which therefor makes this thread pointless.

Stay Essential
EE

When he kicks the bucket you will be the first I laugh at.

Sorry if I seem a little extra bitter, but I just hate this guy. I shall show my dislike by posting a Mr. T fact.

There is a 97.783% chance you are the fool Mr. T pities.
Pheesh
03-10-2006, 02:59 PM
When he kicks the bucket you will be the first I laugh at.

Pfft, once he hears that you've said that, the bucket will be kicked straight at your face...KAPOW!

anyway, Mr. T is cool and you're not allowed to assume i don't like him....cause if you do *shakes fist*

Stay Essential
EE
NeoCracker
03-10-2006, 03:02 PM
I just said the Mr. T fact to mock chuck, since this thread has nothing to do with Mr. T. And to mock chuck even more

Atlas was complaining about back pains and asked Mr. T to hold the world for him. Mr. T agreed on the condition Atlas would wear his gold chains. After five minutes of excrutiating pain atlas asked for the world back.
Leeza
03-10-2006, 08:49 PM
It's Goomba Day today. :cat:
Ashi
03-10-2006, 08:51 PM
Why has Chuck Norris become some kind of inside humour lately? D:
Shoden
03-10-2006, 08:52 PM
Woooo Goombas and Chuck Norris in one day, how could this day get any better?
Psychotic
03-10-2006, 10:47 PM
HAIL GLORIOUS CHU...wait a minute, the elections are over and I don't have to pretend to like this crap anymore.

Chuck Norris bought some groceries at a local store, before realising he had $1.54 less than he needed. Chuck tried to roundhouse the employee but, unfortunately and yet strangely amusingly, he got a hernia and collapsed on the floor in agony, and had to be taken to hospital.

He never did get those groceries.
Markus. D
03-10-2006, 10:49 PM
It's Goomba Day today. :cat:

first off topic post by Leeza I have seen.

wow ^___________^



ya know....
Flying Mullet
03-10-2006, 10:53 PM
Chuck Norris bought some groceries at a local store, before realising he had $1.54 less than he needed. Chuck tried to roundhouse the employee but, unfortunately and yet strangely amusingly, he got a hernia and collapsed on the floor in agony, and had to be taken to hospital.

He never did get those groceries.
If by "tried to" you mean "did gloriously" and by "he got a hernia" you mean
"the employee peed his pants in fear" and by "He never did get those groceries." you mean "Chuck always gets his groceries.", then I agree.

Chuck Norris bought some groceries at a local store, before realising he had $1.54 less than he needed. Chuck tried to did gloriously roundhouse the employee but, unfortunately and yet strangely amusingly, he got a hernia the employee peed his pants in fear and collapsed on the floor in agony, and had to be taken to hospital.

He never did get those groceries. Chuck always gets his groceries.


It's Goomba Day today. :cat:

first off topic post by Leeza I have seen.

wow ^___________^



ya know....
Good point!

Stay on topic Leeza! :smash:
Psychotic
03-10-2006, 10:58 PM
Then we're going to have to disagree, Mullet Time™.

I'm going to make a new Mr. T/Vin Diesel/Chuck Norris. I'm thinking Boris Yeltsin.

Boris Yeltsin got in a fist fight with the Moon, and won.
Stayin Dizzy
03-10-2006, 10:59 PM
HAIL GLORIOUS CHU...wait a minute, the elections are over and I don't have to pretend to like this crap anymore.

Chuck Norris bought some groceries at a local store, before realising he had $1.54 less than he needed. Chuck tried to roundhouse the employee but, unfortunately and yet strangely amusingly, he got a hernia and collapsed on the floor in agony, and had to be taken to hospital.

He never did get those groceries.

Impossible. The only thing that could EVER hurt Chuck Norris would be a Chuck Norris clone (thus why cloning is illegal). But if this ever did happen the amount of pure energy that would emit from 2 Chuck Norris rounhouse kicks at 2 Chuck Norris's would be more powerful than if the entire world unloaded nuclear payloads all at once. Thus the end of existance itself
Psychotic
03-10-2006, 11:03 PM
Or, more realistically, it'd have the same force as two sad old men slapping each other simultaneously. And that's not a coincidence.
Flying Mullet
03-10-2006, 11:05 PM
Then we're going to have to disagree, Mullet Time™.

I'm going to make a new Mr. T/Vin Diesel/Chuck Norris. I'm thinking Boris Yeltsin.

Boris Yeltsin got in a fist fight with the Moon, and won.
Bah, Boris Yelstin is just an opportunist. Chuck was bored on a lunch break one day and decided he'd had enough of Soviet Russia so he brought the regime down. Then Boris stepped in and tried to take control and pretend that he's as awesome as Chuck.

In Soviet Russia Chuck still kicks ass.

Or, more realistically, it'd have the same force as two sad old men slapping each other simultaneously. And that's not a coincidence.
Chuck did punch his reflection in the mirror once. Chuck doesn't have a house on top of Mt. St. Helens anymore.
Psychotic
03-10-2006, 11:07 PM
Oh, this Chuck thing has only been around since 1991? And there was me thinking it was the favourite joke of the cavemen.

(Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Wooly Mammoth and invented the sport of lacrosse at the same time! UG UG UG UG UG!)
Flying Mullet
03-10-2006, 11:08 PM
Oh, this Chuck thing has only been around since 1991? And there was me thinking it was the favourite joke of the cavemen.

(Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Wooly Mammoth and invented the sport of lacrosse at the same time! UG UG UG UG UG!)
Why'd you think the wooly mammoths was extinct?
Psychotic
03-10-2006, 11:10 PM
Bird flu? :confused:
Flying Mullet
03-10-2006, 11:17 PM
o rly?
Captain Maxx Power
03-10-2006, 11:25 PM
I tried to give Chuck Norris a card for his birthday, but he proceeded to kick me solidly in the back. I have since given birth to twins, who were born with full beards.
Melodie
03-10-2006, 11:37 PM
Chuck Norris is sexy. I'd give him a birthday dance.
Stayin Dizzy
03-10-2006, 11:50 PM
Oh, this Chuck thing has only been around since 1991? And there was me thinking it was the favourite joke of the cavemen.

(Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Wooly Mammoth and invented the sport of lacrosse at the same time! UG UG UG UG UG!)
Why'd you think the wooly mammoths was extinct?

I have your answer

Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Chuck Norris to be killed

More important on this day we must recognize the greatness that is Chuck
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter
Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas"
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Hawkeye
03-11-2006, 12:04 AM
A forum full of Chuck Norris fans and nobody has a user name of the like. How disappointing.
Freya
03-11-2006, 12:08 AM
Happy b-day Chuck!


Cept i'm getting a bit tired of Chuck lately we need to idealize something else now. Not saying Chuck is bad but he is getting over used.
NeoCracker
03-11-2006, 12:09 AM
Mr. T is my Idol.
Erdrick Holmes
03-11-2006, 02:50 AM
In celebration I'm gonna go roundhouse kick people.