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View Full Version : What is the quickest way to meet Oprah!



Luther X-Rated
03-18-2006, 06:35 AM
Okay I need some advice on how to meet the great one, Oprah!!!

Death Penalty
03-18-2006, 06:40 AM
Find out where her show is being taped. Get two crazy wiggerswith lots of guns and find a child with a wild Afro. As he walks buy call security and him and Bushido Brow will begin fighting. As they are fighting sneak in the back and then you are done.

TasteyPies
03-18-2006, 07:26 AM
Twinkies!



Find out where her show is being taped. Get two crazy wiggerswith lots of guns and find a child with a wild Afro. As he walks buy call security and him and Bushido Brow will begin fighting. As they are fighting sneak in the back and then you are done.

Classic Boondocks

Meat Puppet
03-18-2006, 07:36 AM
Gas your family and say it was an accident.

nik0tine
03-18-2006, 08:18 AM
I think a star map is the obvious answer here.

Teek
03-18-2006, 09:05 AM
Call her and talk about a personal problem.

Make sure to call yourself an angel.

-N-
03-18-2006, 09:12 AM
Fake a memoir.
Seriously, why hasn't anyone said that yet.

Captain Maxx Power
03-18-2006, 11:10 AM
Become a successful actor who's gay, try very hard to be straight, then go on the show and make it damn obvious that you're most certainly not gay and that you love them ladies. Also, attack Oprah in the process for added effect.

Chris
03-18-2006, 12:32 PM
Become an audience at her show, it's not that hard really. You travel to Chicago and visit Harpo studio and they'll tell you if there are seats available for her next show. If not, you try again and again.

McLovin'
03-18-2006, 01:00 PM
Befriend Dr Phil.

Rye
03-18-2006, 01:20 PM
Writing an essay won't help. I had to write an essay to Oprah as an assignment for school. :(

Chris
03-18-2006, 01:25 PM
I have to say even though Oprah is a busy women, she always take the time to sign an autograph. And the charity work she's done with her Angel Network. She's probably one of the hardest working women in America, and we all know that she's the richest woman in America and the third richest woman in the world as well. I admire her very much, she always gets involved with her guests and she doesn't hold back and just stand there like Ricki Lake or Jenny Jones. She gets involved. She's real. :)

-N-
03-18-2006, 01:27 PM
Writing an essay won't help. I had to write an essay to Oprah as an assignment for school. :(That sucks balls. - J

Shoeberto
03-18-2006, 01:28 PM
Get her pregnant.

Dreddz
03-18-2006, 01:35 PM
Say your madly in love with Katie Holmes....

Rye
03-18-2006, 01:47 PM
Say your madly in love with Katie Holmes....

Damn, beat to it. xD

Dignified Pauper
03-18-2006, 02:34 PM
worships Satan, and she'll appear in your dreams.

Ashley Schovitz
03-18-2006, 02:47 PM
Become an audience at her show, it's not that hard really. You travel to Chicago and visit Harpo studio and they'll tell you if there are seats available for her next show. If not, you try again and again.
What he or she said.

Celtic Commando
03-18-2006, 03:02 PM
There are lots of ways:
1: Try to kill your mother/father, preferably both, and pretend it was your split personality/evil twin.
2: Call a family reunion, then attampt to set fire to / blow up the building your family is in. Fail on purpose. Again, claim your split personality/evil twin did it.
3: All mentioned in the above posts.

escobert
03-18-2006, 05:42 PM
Send her a letter saying you have aids and 34 types of cancer. You'll be on the show in notime.

Trumpet Thief
03-18-2006, 07:45 PM
There are lots of ways:
1: Try to kill your mother/father, preferably both, and pretend it was your split personality/evil twin.


chaos: Wonderful! :D

Rubedo: Erm, you could pretend to be emo/depressed, and write letters about how you slit yourself to Oprah time and time again, until she eventually believes that you are insane, and lets you on her show.

Miriel
03-19-2006, 09:51 AM
Become an audience at her show, it's not that hard really. You travel to Chicago and visit Harpo studio and they'll tell you if there are seats available for her next show. If not, you try again and again.
There are people who have waited over 10 years to get tickets to attend a taping of her show. Unless you're extremely lucky, it really is that hard.

The Devourer Of Worlds
03-19-2006, 10:17 AM
Set yourself on fire.

GhandiOwnsYou
03-19-2006, 10:42 AM
yeah, as far as tickets go? no chance. come on dude, she gave away CARS. If there was a show, that had given away CARS to each audience member, on a random show taping, do you really think it'd be easy to get seats to that shizzo?

Stayin Dizzy
03-19-2006, 04:58 PM
Get her pregnant.


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"what's gotten into Oprah?"
" My seed son!!"

Dave figured it would work

Fonzie
03-19-2006, 11:24 PM
Dave Chapelle got her pregnant and he was living the high life. OPRAH!!!

Shiny
03-20-2006, 12:22 AM
Become a White middle-aged house wife and write a letter to her or her staff complaining that you're going through a mid-life crisis.