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View Full Version : U Britain? Yer directly descended from King Harold!



Peegee
04-06-2006, 09:30 AM
I'm probably directly related to some Emperor of some Province of China through the same syllogism:

(Simplified to avoid excessive biology terminology I am not totally comfortable with anyway)

We each have a father and mother (unless you were cloned which you were not >:o), four grandparents, eight great grand parents, sixteen great-great grand parents, etc. Going back 30 generations to roughly 1066 AD, we would have 2exp30 or ~one billion direct ancestors!

BUT WAIT PG there weren't a billion peoplez back then and even if there were, they sure as heck didn't all have the sexor!

Which seems to mean that pretty much everybody back then was your direct ancestor.

So for British people specifically, this means that in all likelihood King Harold, William the Conqueror, and various slavegirls and what-nots were likely related to you in some way.

I might have phrased that previous paragraph incorrectly or totally succinctly, but the point is this:

Discuss :D

Zell's Fists of Fury
04-06-2006, 09:37 AM
I have two daddies. ^_^

Meat Puppet
04-06-2006, 09:38 AM
It doesn't matter. They're dead now and can't give me any money.

Miriel
04-06-2006, 09:38 AM
I don't think a thread has made me literally lol like this in a long time. :D

Dreddz
04-06-2006, 09:43 AM
I feel so special

Despotus
04-06-2006, 09:46 AM
I think the inbreeding that went on back then shoots some holes in your theory. But it's still a nice thought. Some more food for your brain to chew on is that even though world population is estimated to have been about 400,000,000 (less than half of a billion) in 1066, we definitely didn't start talking to each other and traveling to even 1% of the extent that we do today until about 500 years later. Don't get me started about how xenophobic many cultures still are today, but back then, everybody feared and loathed each other. Yummy, huh?

Not everybody in Britain is even descended from "Cheddar Man" who lived in what would become Cheddar, England 9000 years and 300 generations later. A good number of people are, but not everyone.

Now go ahead and continue spamming, spam-a-holics! :D

Peegee
04-06-2006, 09:54 AM
Well while the thread isn't my idea (it's from the book 'the Red Queen'), I tend to agree with it on the basis that both King Harold and more likely William the Conqueror probably sowed their seed more proficiently than say, the rest of the population who are likely a combination of Lords, Nobels, and say, the wretched lower class.

At the very least unless you were wholly unlucky, some portion of your genes must've come from at least a member of the upper ruling Aristocracy.

I've made this thread too coherent :( Sorrys

Despotus
04-06-2006, 10:01 AM
Good point Pureghetto. I just think that King Harold and William the Conquerer are about as far as most Britons can expect their geneological tree to go. I was trying to help some intellectually challenged people who occasionally visit this forum understand that looking for a descendant in Ancient China would be going a bit too far. ;)

Peegee
04-06-2006, 10:04 AM
Exactly -- my point is that geography means you likely did not have a pool from China or (if they existed) Japan or Aboriginals from Austrailia (if they existed back then).

Thus we're looking at a REALLY small gene pool in Britain. Maybe in surrounding areas but teehee it's funnier this way.

Captain Maxx Power
04-06-2006, 11:04 AM
All my ancestors are either swedish or scottish.

Avathar
04-06-2006, 11:23 AM
I am the heir of Genghis Khan's empire:love: and it feels great:D

Anyhoo:

My mom's mom: Flemish origin^^
My mom's dad: Dutch origin
My dad's mom: Spanish origin
My dad's dad: French origin

:D But i'm just a regular Flemish kid:love:

Shaun
04-06-2006, 11:38 AM
I'm not fussed about my ancestors.

Rye
04-06-2006, 11:47 AM
PG's best thread since SPAIWARE!!!


Viewpoint media player has updated your program files blah blah no need to reboot asl you are my friend, can I have five bucks?

So I thinks to myself I thinks: "ViewWHAT player? I didn't install no fsking crap excuse for a [church organs blaring to censor inappropriate dialogue] media player! Who the [cut to a happy scene of two people dancing in a party]" I fly over to add/remove programs, and surely there it was VIEWPOINT MEDIA PLAYER SITTING THERE IN THE INSTALLED PROGRAM SECTION LAUGHING AT MY STUMPY LEGS AND ASIAN DEMEANOR WHAT A JERK. I uninstalled the ugly malfunction of a wtf and promptly went to google to figure out what was going on.

Seems Viewpoint Media Player is installed with every happy new installation of aim. YOU MIGHT HAVE IT TOO AND IT'S FILLED WITH SPYWARE OOH SPAI WEAR PUT IT ON IT WON'T ITCH YOUR CROTCH LOLzzzz

So check your system for the offending thing, uninstall it, then hit windoze key + F to search for files, and erase everything involving 'viewpoint'. You may need to safe mode to erase "AxMetaStream_0302021C_.dll"

"wait wtf Viewpoint I thought you uninstalled you!"

"haha you stupid fat user! I only made you think so. Now I'm going to install pictures of PG in your computer! bwahahahahaha"

[note: I found viewpoint.exe in c:\program files\aim\system files]

And this is PG's excuse for a public service announcement.

Polaris
04-06-2006, 11:56 AM
All of my family is portuguese at least until the parebst of my grandparents

Cz
04-06-2006, 12:25 PM
I didn't read the thread. I just assumed that since PG wrote it it would be funny, and lol'ed anyway.

Now that I go back and read it, it's probably true. Yay.

Shauna
04-06-2006, 12:55 PM
Well, I'm descended from Spanish and Irish Ancestory. :D Most likely.

...It's so not right that the ONLY people you mentioned were English! :mad2: That sucks. :cool:

Dignified Pauper
04-06-2006, 02:26 PM
I'm mostly Irish with a hint of everything else.

Further, I think that this thread is genious and that you need a Nobel Prize.

Rase
04-06-2006, 02:36 PM
I only know what half of me is. :(

Hawkeye
04-06-2006, 02:50 PM
I'm mexican what does that make me pure gee toe

boris no no
04-06-2006, 02:53 PM
I was delivered by a stork
My parents have never done the bad thing..EVER :mad2:

Morgoth_Bauglir
04-06-2006, 03:11 PM
Noone can be sure about where he came from

Pike
04-06-2006, 03:57 PM
I used to feel special because I was all decended from William the Conquerer and stuff, then I found out that pretty much everybody is decended from William the Conquerer. I'm not special anymore. :(

XD

Gh["]sT
04-06-2006, 04:29 PM
well my ansectars are monkeys lol xD

escobert
04-06-2006, 04:57 PM
I wish PG was my daddy :(

~SapphireStar~
04-06-2006, 05:08 PM
I have two daddies.
Same here and two mummies :D

Burtsplurt
04-06-2006, 07:17 PM
I was hoping I would be directly related to Harold from Neighbours instead. Life can be harsh sometimes. :(

Jebus
04-06-2006, 08:33 PM
I'm indirectly related to the first Lord Baltimore. :D?

Not that it does me any good. Damn Americans banning titles of nobility. I could've been a Baron. ;_;

amratis
04-06-2006, 08:36 PM
I dont wanna be descended from King Harold, he got a fuck off big arrow through his eye. That means I'M going to get a fuck off big arrow through the eye! *screams and runs off*

Psychotic
04-06-2006, 10:17 PM
William the Conqueror had red hair and I don't. Ha!

rubah
04-07-2006, 12:28 AM
They weren't all alive at the same time though. One great great great x20 grandma could've been born 100 years before another one. especially the way they used to sell off young girls back in the day.

agrudis
04-07-2006, 01:03 AM
Family history ... how dull.

Madame Adequate
04-07-2006, 01:32 AM
I think it was reckoned that something like 1/8 of the world's population is directly descended from Genghis Khan.

Pretty big pimp right there.

Anyway yeah we're all related anyway, incest wins.

Chaos
04-07-2006, 01:15 PM
I'm descended from a clan of Irish Lawyers.....uh.....

12th Century litigators, lawyers, judges and doctors if the family history is to be believed. Somewhat worrying.

And also I'm related to a german called Heinz! Yeah! 1/4 German, 3/4 British.

Avathar
04-07-2006, 01:35 PM
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2978115909664568949&q=dschingis+khan&pl=true
^^These guys are so proud they're heirs to Genghis Khan.:kaocheer: :kaolaugh:

Druggelz
04-07-2006, 01:37 PM
I've got absolutely no idea

a very long time ago we were being under controll of:
Keltisch guys
Roman guys
Dutch people
German people
French people
Spanish people
........
So I guess I'm a mixture of them all

But I prefer to tell everyone I'm from a galawy far far away to concuer earth, but no one believes that......hmmm a shame