Would you consider it cheating if...? [Archive]

eemica

07-10-2006, 07:00 AM

Well, I went to see Pirates 2 on opening night. I went with my friends and my friends mom. Anyways, one of my guy friends came, and I use to like him a lot during the school year. But nothing happened with us. And now he is dating this girl. So during the movie he start to play with my hand a little, then slowly he started to hold it. I would pull away..and he would grab it again..so, I let him hold it. Then I had to ask him a question during the movie, so I leaned over and asked him, he answered it for me, then I looked at him and he leaned closer and to me it looked like he was about to kiss me. But I turned away..because he has a girlfriend. And I don't want him cheating on her because she is an old friend of mine...and I don't want to see her hurt. So after the movie he was all "Please don't tell..."

Would you consider what he did cheating?
Holding my hand..almost kissing me..then telling me not to tell..

Miriel

07-10-2006, 07:06 AM

It's not the worst kind of cheating the guy could have done, but I'd still consider it cheating.

eemica

07-10-2006, 07:10 AM

It's not the worst kind of cheating the guy could have done, but I'd still consider it cheating.

I agree. Like, its not like we kissed or something more happened. But, he was all the way honest with his girlfriend..

Kawaii Ryûkishi

07-10-2006, 07:30 AM

Don't worry about whether or not to label it "cheating." It was a very jerky thing to do either way.

Flea

07-10-2006, 08:28 AM

Yeah, I agree. Don't worry too much about whether it's cheating or not, just don't go along with that sort of behaviour.
Did you or he end up telling the girlfriend?

nik0tine

07-10-2006, 08:31 AM

12 year olds cheat?

Rye

07-10-2006, 12:24 PM

It's not the worst kind of cheating the guy could have done, but I'd still consider it cheating.

Pretty much, yeah. I would be hurt by what he did if I were in your friend's shoes.

drunkymonkey

07-10-2006, 12:32 PM

Yeah, leaving the cheating part aside, it was very nasty to do. I can't recommend whether to tell your friend or not because I don't know her so I don't know how she would react. It's your choice really. But think of it this way: If he tried it on with you, what's to stop him trying it on with someone else? I suppose you could stop it all right now...

I just noticed that this bit "If he tried it on with you, what's to stop him trying it on with someone else?" sounded like I was slagging you off. I wasn't.

Sefie1999AD

07-10-2006, 12:59 PM

It's not the worst kind of cheating the guy could have done, but I'd still consider it cheating.

Agreed. I wouldn't like it if my girlfriend (if I had one) was holding someone else's hands or trying to kiss that person. Do you consider that guy honest and reliable? It would be better if he told his girlfriend the truth himself so that you wouldn't have to get involved because of that guy's mistakes. However, if he's not going to tell her, I'm not sure whether you should do it or not since I don't know how she'd react if you told her.

Loony BoB

07-10-2006, 01:25 PM

Technically I'd say no. However.

One way to look at it: If he's ashamed of what he's done and doesn't want the girlfriend to know, then he's obviously broken the rules of his relationship, no matter what you call it. If it was okay, he'd not care if she found out. So yeah, I'd tell him to tell the girl, stating that if he doesn't, you will. Treat others as you'd like to be treated, you know. I'm pretty sure the girl deserves to know of this stuff so she doesn't waste her time with him, and then (optimistically) he might learn a lesson, too.

I once held the hand of a girl and got quite touchy with her, tracing fingers over her face while sleeping next to her one night on a school trip. I told my girlfriend afterwards because I felt horrible. We stuck together for months beyond that. I think it's better that the girl finds out from him, because that's the only way he'll really have a good chance out of all of this.

xX.Silver.Wings.Xx

07-10-2006, 02:10 PM

I hold hands with my friend sometimes and were not involved in anyway other than friendship. Just tell him you don't think it should happen again if you are concerned.

eemica

07-10-2006, 02:15 PM

I agree with everyone.

And he didn't tell his girl yet...and I don't think he plans on it. I hate to say this, but, in all his past relationships--he's cheated. He tries to tell me, "its okay...its not like anyone will find out'' but they do end up finding out. And with his girlfriend now, she already hates for me to hang out with him because during the school year she said I was trying to "steal him away from her" because we went to a party and played 'sexual twister' as it was called. So, she already doesn't like me that much..and that was a start of a very ugly fight we got into.

NeoCracker

07-10-2006, 02:24 PM

Alive-Cat

07-10-2006, 04:21 PM

Well, it's not cheating. Not straight up cheating, anyway. And seeing as he just wanted to hold your hand and not anything more, maybe he likes you A LOT. :spin:

Psydekick

07-10-2006, 04:23 PM

That is a bit pervey rly, and yes that is cheating.

Is he ladies man like irvine who just loves girls?:spin:

Bart's Friend Milhouse

07-10-2006, 05:56 PM

Er are you sure he didn't just mistake you for his girlfriend?

Loony BoB

07-10-2006, 06:06 PM

Er are you sure he didn't just mistake you for his girlfriend?
This might actually be a worse reason for him to do what he did. That is the most pathetic possible excuse I've heard.

He's going to the cinema so he's able to see and hear, so he can undoubtedly realise who is and is not his girlfriend.

~SapphireStar~

07-10-2006, 06:20 PM

It's not the worst kind of cheating the guy could have done, but I'd still consider it cheating.

Rocket Edge

07-10-2006, 06:26 PM

It's not the worst kind of cheating the guy could have done, but I'd still consider it cheating.

bipper

07-10-2006, 06:42 PM

Don't hate the player; hate the game
-bert

Yamaneko

07-10-2006, 06:59 PM

Maybe he was checking your teeth for cavities.

Jojee

07-10-2006, 08:14 PM

Snakes_On_A_Plane

07-10-2006, 09:29 PM

I'd say its cheeting. If your going out with someone, you don't go around trying to kiss other girls.

feona17

07-11-2006, 12:31 AM

Don't hate the player; hate the game
-bert

I still don't understand that saying.

Honestly, just forget about the guy, and know that you are better than that and won't sink to his level. What he has done will come bite him in the ass one day. He was cheating, and he can't take it back.

I had a really similar situation actually, except I was the one with the boyfriend. I went to see Scary Movie 4 with my guy friend, and we were really close at the time. Not sexually/physically, but emotionally as friends. Half way into the movie he kissed me, and I was completely shocked and it went on for 5 seconds before I could react and pull away. He apologized and said it'd never happen again. After that, we never went back to that best friend relationship.

Ryth

07-11-2006, 02:15 AM

Well, what he did wasn't officially cheating but that is patrially because you didn't comply to what he tried to do. He apparently seems to have had some intention to cheat. The fact he asked you not to tell makes that even more obvious. If he had the intention to cheat, he is bound to try it again, on someone whether or not it is you. He isn't going to learn his lesson, that is apparent because this has happened a couple times before, especially if you just let it go and let his current feeling of shame try and teach him the lesson. You should tell your friend because she shouldn't waste her time on this guy if he's going to cheat. She may act mad at you, but you would have done the right thing. He may not learn his lesson (though he is bound to eventually) but at least you spare your friend from more hurt and possible embarrassment.

NorthernChaosGod

07-11-2006, 03:14 AM

Yes, although it can get much worse than that, it is still cheating. Cheating doesn't always have to be something physical like a kiss, it can be the intent to do something physical as well.

Just my two cents.

Nominus Experse

07-11-2006, 03:25 AM

If she wouldn't want him doing something, and he does it, I would think it to be cheating, whether she knows about it or not. And I agree with Æ¿æƒ2 in that visible intentions of doing such things are just as wrong as actually committing to them.

Markus. D

07-11-2006, 10:46 AM

12 year olds cheat?

well.

your able to be more reckless at that age, tis fun.

drunkymonkey

07-11-2006, 11:10 AM

It's not for everyone else though.

Loony BoB

07-11-2006, 11:35 AM

Technically I'd say no. How could you say that? Going around trying to kiss other girls while you have a girlfriend is technically not cheating? That kind of attitude makes me mad >;3

Yes, it's cheating.
That's attempting to cheat. Not cheating. Cheating is when you actually kiss. If it was considered cheating to hold hands, then I think the divorce rate would skyrocket.

I'm not saying it's okay to do it, I'm just saying that I consider cheating to be kissing at the least. Anything less is just inappropriate.

You don't have to cheat to be a crap boyfriend who doesn't deserve the girl, I assure you. Attempting to cheat is just as bad as cheating, although it's not technically cheating. Hence the rest of my post which you ignored!

Jojee

07-11-2006, 11:39 AM

Pff *bites your face off*

Splitting straws~ Attempting to cheat, cheating, it's all the same to me :p Technicalities suck XD

Shaun

07-11-2006, 12:01 PM

If he wanted to kiss you, he should have broken it off with her first. I believe people should be able to do what they want like that, and the truth is better than lies.

eemica

07-11-2006, 04:11 PM

Most of you said its cheating..
I even asked my friend brother and he was all "No, I don't think its cheating." then I asked him HE has a girlfriend and she held hands with someone who use to like her, then he said yes. So I asked him to rethink what he said about how its not cheating--and he said it is.
I agree...
Its not the WORSE kind of cheating.
But cheating is when your dishonest and do something with somoene else that you know your boy/girl wouldn't like.

I tried talking to him about it.
And he pretended it never happened.
So, I don't know.

NorthernChaosGod

07-11-2006, 08:37 PM

cheating

adj 1: not faithful to a spouse or lover;
Never says it has to be physical, just unfaithful. And holding hands LIKE THAT and trying to kiss IS being unfaithful, hence cheating.

Technically I'd say no. How could you say that? Going around trying to kiss other girls while you have a girlfriend is technically not cheating? That kind of attitude makes me mad >;3

Yes, it's cheating.
That's attempting to cheat. Not cheating. Cheating is when you actually kiss. If it was considered cheating to hold hands, then I think the divorce rate would skyrocket.

I'm not saying it's okay to do it, I'm just saying that I consider cheating to be kissing at the least. Anything less is just inappropriate.

You don't have to cheat to be a crap boyfriend who doesn't deserve the girl, I assure you. Attempting to cheat is just as bad as cheating, although it's not technically cheating. Hence the rest of my post which you ignored!
Under the given circumstances it wasn't just a friendly handhold.

Pure Aerisbeauty7

07-11-2006, 08:54 PM

It is cheating. He didn't kiss you but tried to, was holding your hand, and he told you not to tell. I think you should tell someone or he might start cheating on other girls.

Dreddz

07-11-2006, 09:26 PM

http://img351.imageshack.us/img351/984/profilepic2345770ps.gif
Can you blame him ?

NorthernChaosGod

07-11-2006, 10:18 PM

http://img351.imageshack.us/img351/984/profilepic2345770ps.gif
Can you blame him ?
There is no acceptable reason for cheating.

ZeZipster

07-11-2006, 10:42 PM

Where do you think he was going with it? Honestly, I don't think the kiss was his top prerogative. But then again I'm a guy...

Jimmy Dark Aeons Slayer

07-11-2006, 10:53 PM

You did the right thing because if you got into his game, then someone else would find out and tell his real girlfriend and then there would be one of those cat fights and the guy would still walk away with the prize unarmed;)

I know because i saw it happen with and old school buddy of mine in the end he left his girlfriend and changed it with another girl who was kind of a...well she was known for having very short relations:rolleyes2
The only diference was that they were at the beach at it was all very bright!!!

His ex-girlfriend actually dated me about 6 months so...it would appear i got the rejected one...but that was about 2 years ago already...those were the days:cry:

udsuna

07-12-2006, 12:25 AM

It was attempted cheating. Which is JUST as bad, morally. And quite a bit more pathetic. I mean, come on, if you're gonna do it, at least do it RIGHT.

Plus, cheaters CHEAT. It's what they do. If once, then always again. Maybe they can't help it, maybe they're just scum, but given the chance- a player *plays*.