Times you do NOT want a keyblade to pop into your hands Probably Spoilers

[Distain]

Yep. So I was watching the fight sequence between Roxas and Sora, and it was at the part where Roxas disarms Sora and the keyblade pops back into his hands. Then I though to myself, man wouldent that suck if he was like at the bank or somthing when that hapend? So yep thats pretty much how this came about. I'l start off with one:


*Sora's walking through the airport and just finished geting past the security check*

POP

Sora: Aw crap...

Security: He's got a wepon! Get him!!

*Takels Sora*

[Dynast-Kid]

*Sora is driving down the road and is stopped by the cops*

Cop:Sir,I have reason to believe you are driving under the influence.Please step out of the car.

Sora:*sigh*OK,fine.

Cop:OK Sir.Now,raise your hands ove...*Keyblade appears in Sora's hands*

Cop:*On walkie-talkie*Reporting to all units,we have a rowdy drunk driver who is trying to assault an officer!Repeat,the suspect is armed and dangerous...

Sora:Crap...*sigh*

NOTE:I have NO idea why Sora would have a car...



-Rafflesia Leaf

[Angelroo]

Luxord: Yes, I can finally put the final card on top and finish my replica of Twilight Town, made entirely of CARDS!!! Hahahaha!

Roxas: Can I put the last card on?

Luxord: Well, ok, I guess. Just don't knock it down.

*Cue Keyblade*

Roxas: oops.

Luxord: :eek: NOOO!

[Dynast-Kid]

LOL!

[Jessweeee♪]

umm....FFVII spoiler!!!!!!!!!!!







Aeris is being swarmed by heartless and Sora jumps down behind her.
Sora: I'll save you, Aeris!!! *keyblade*
Aeris: ughhh....*keyblade goes through her back*
Sora: uhhh....*runs away*

[Dynast-Kid]

I so Lol'd! :p

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

After the end of the game.

Kairi: "Oh, Sora. I've always wanted to say this. You're really cute yanno? I'm gonna kiss you now!"
Kairi begins puckering at Sora, then suddenly the keyblade pops in his hand.
Kairi: "*screams* It's over between us! You stink, Sora!"
Sora: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *transforms into valor and waves both keyblades in the air.
Riku: "Hahaha! She's mine!"
Sora: "I would shut up if I were you."
Riku: "Oh."

[BizarroSephiroth]

Trying to get into your house, keyblade appears:

Sora: Stupid ass key doesn't fit!!!! Arrgh * chops door in half*

[Griff]

Sora is sitting alone in his room, thinking of Kairi, having a moment...

*POP*

Sora: Oh S***!

(based on how at one point Roxas' struggle sword turns into the keyblade and going on the assumption that anything you are holding onto when it appears gets turned into the keyblade)

[Albel]

Sora is meetin the president of America and is about to shake his had when keyblade appears
Sora:Oh Crap!
Secert service:Hes tryin to kill the president! Get Him!

(I dont know y he would meet the president)

[chaos_ghost]

*In the Pridelands*

Sora: Simba, don't you *Keyblade appears in his mouth, but he keeps talking anyway*
Simba:What?
Sora: I said, don't *Keyblade appears and he continues talking again*
Simba: What did you call my father?!

Simba then angerlly chases Sora around the Pridelands for several hours.

It's not really funny, but I thought it would really annoying if the keyblade appeared while he was trying to talk in the Pridelands

[Distain]

Sora is sitting alone in his room, thinking of Kairi, having a moment...

*POP*

Sora: Oh S***!

(based on how at one point Roxas' struggle sword turns into the keyblade and going on the assumption that anything you are holding onto when it appears gets turned into the keyblade)

lmao!!

[Dynast-Kid]

Sora is sitting alone in his room, thinking of Kairi, having a moment...

*POP*

Sora: Oh S***!

(based on how at one point Roxas' struggle sword turns into the keyblade and going on the assumption that anything you are holding onto when it appears gets turned into the keyblade)


Lol!I just understood that...

[Eiko Guy]

good one

[cid highwind]

about post 9 notice that the keyblade dissappears afterwards

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

Sora finds himself in a FF world before FFXII.

Sora: "Hey Cloud."
*keyblade pops in his hand.
Cloud: "Why'd ya do that for?! You started a battle!"
Sora: "Oh, sorry." *does running motion until he escapes, and they're back on the field*

[Key of Destiny]

This is an unbelivably funny thread. All of 'em are funny.

...

Don't expect ME to write one. I'm not funny at all...

[Jessweeee♪]

well actually the keyblade only did that because he's in a computer generated town, but it was still funny XDDDD

Sora: King Mickey!! I'm so glad we found you! *runs over too him when the keyblade pops in his hand and stabs mickey*
Mickey: uaaagh......Sora...why?
Sora: Wait...no!!! It was an accident, you gotta believe me!!!!
Goofy: Looks like you killed the King a-hyuck!
Sora: .......
Donald: Sora...why are you looking at us like that......
Sora: You wouldn't tell anyone about this. Would you?
Goofy: Of course not
Donald: No Way.
Sora: Of course you won't. Dead men tell no tales....
Fin.

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

Ok, I'm gonna write another not-as-bitterly-humourous-as-Jesse1's-one-but-should-still-make-you-laugh one.

Scene cut from KH2.
Roxas raises his hand and is about to scratch his head when
*pop*
*clang!*
"Ow! Stupid keyblade!"
And that's why he started hitting it on the computer.

[Coppo]

Sora: Ah, nothing like a fresh piece of toast to start the day!
*Sora grabs hold of the slice of toast, about to take a bite out of it
*The Keyblade appears in Sora's hand
*Sora bites the Keyblade instead of the slice of toast
Sora: ...that, does not taste like toast.

[Jessweeee♪]

Oh, wow. That WAS a little morbid....it's not funny at all now.

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

Sora buys a brand new really expensive PS3. I probably don't have to finish this joke for you to know what's gonna happen, but
Sora: "Ok, now to put in FFXIII."
*pop*
Sora: "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO"

[Jus_like_Rikku!!]

LOL! I'd hate that to happen..:D :p

erm... i have nothing to say...

[Eminem's_No.1_Fan]

sora and kairi are in a dark room, Kairi reaches over to hold his hand

*POP*

Kairi: wow you must really be having a good time.

[01 Rin]

I laughed at almost every single one. THIS IS THE BEST THREAD EVER!!! THANK YOU DISTAIN!!

Riku and Sora are playing tag, having a good ol' time.

Sora: You're my best friend, Riku.
Riku: Thanks, Sora. You're my best friend too.
They both smile.
Riku: Sora, I love you so much that... well... you can have Kairi! I won't fight anymore! *really dramatic with hand over face, looking away and everything*
Sora: Really?! You mean it? Okay, this calls for a hug. I don't care if all evil betrayed you and you tried to kill me several times in KH(1). I just wanna give you a hug! *tears start to swell in his eyes*
Riku: *begins crying too* Okay, Sora!
They hug.

*POP!*
Riku is stabbed.

Sora: *gasp!*
Riku: Et tu, Sora?

Don't really know if that is funny but.... and I really hated Ceasar. except for the fighting parts. ;)

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

Sora takes his PS3 back to gamespot. "Sorry, you can't take it back. You should have gotten our keyblade insurrance! hahahahaha!"
Roxas walks in. "Hey, Sora, you forgot to get keyblade insurrance huh. hahahahaha! Yeah, I think I'll get that."
*pop*
Sora: "Hahaha, you didn't buy your insurrance, yet."
gamespot guy: "That'll be $800, Mr. Roxas."
Roxas: "NOOOOOO"

[No.78]

Sora: Yeah, I quit the whole keyblade thing.
Kairi: You can't just quit!
Sora: The random popping thing pissed me off, I quit... Deal with it!
*pops in his hands*
WHAT THE FFF- I locked it in a fricken chest and buried it in the sands hoping the sea would take it away so it would float in space and hopefully never be seen again!
*throws the keyblade over Kairi's shoulder as hard as he can, breathing heavily...*
Whew.
*it appears behind his head and knocks him down*
Sora: Oh my GOD!! That's it, I'm gonna melt it.
Kairi: No sora! Here, if I hold it then it will "think" you're holding it.
Sora: Keyblades think?
Kairi: ...Yes?
*Kairi takes the keyblade... Another one pops in Sora's hands.*
Sora: Fuck! Another one!? WHAT THE HECK?
Mickey's voice in the distance: HEY WHERE'D MY KEYBLADE GO!?

[01 Rin]

WHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! *falls off chair laughing again*

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

gamespot clerk: "Whoops, Roxas, I mean 800 munny. That's if you want to buy another PS3."
Roxas: "Oh, it's easy to get that kinda munny in this game. I happen to have 99999 munny."
gamestop clerk: "Sold!"
*pop*
Sora: "Hahaha!"
Roxas: "Noooooo"
Last 4 lines of action repeat for several days.
Ken Kutaragi at E3 2007: "We have already sold more than the Wii, making us the better system according to the fans! At least in Twilight Town where we've sold several million. Which is kinda funny considering there are only about 20 people who live there."
Satoru Iwada: "That dirty..." *tries to make a keyblade appear in his hand but that would be when you'd want one, so it didn't work.

[01 Rin]

In KH(1), where Sora meets Beast for the 1st time and Riku in Hollow Bastion

Riku: You are not worthy of being the keyblade bearer.
Sora: But that's not fair, I came all this way and fought with the keyblade!

*POP*

Keyblade transports from Sora to Riku and it hits Riku in the head.

Riku: OW!
Sora: Not as easy as you think, huh?

(say, i'm not good at this....)

[Aeondo]

summons genie gives him a keyblade but he has one
Sora: wha..? how didja.. what the.. These things arent as special as I thought.

sora meets riku and they fight on the team against nobodies. sora hands over oblivion but riku already has one
Sora: Do they sell these now or something

Sora notices that kairi is holding off heartless with riku
Sora:OK i know riku had one in hollow bastian but Where did kairi get one!?!
Mickeys comes out of nowhere
Sora:Even the mouse has one.....Might as well give one to donald and goofy for cryin out loud.

This is one my friend said.
At the end where the three use the keyblades to open the last door,
they all start arguin at why every one is different and start complaining and the "I want that one" crap.....You kinda had ta be there

[Dragonface]

Sora: Yeah, I quit the whole keyblade thing.
Kairi: You can't just quit!
Sora: The random popping thing pissed me off, I quit... Deal with it!
*pops in his hands*
WHAT THE FFF- I locked it in a fricken chest and buried it in the sands hoping the sea would take it away so it would float in space and hopefully never be seen again!
*throws the keyblade over Kairi's shoulder as hard as he can, breathing heavily...*
Whew.
*it appears behind his head and knocks him down*
Sora: Oh my GOD!! That's it, I'm gonna melt it.
Kairi: No sora! Here, if I hold it then it will "think" you're holding it.
Sora: Keyblades think?
Kairi: ...Yes?
*Kairi takes the keyblade... Another one pops in Sora's hands.*
Sora: smurf! Another one!? WHAT THE HECK?
Mickey's voice in the distance: HEY WHERE'D MY KEYBLADE GO!?

Sora: :eep: Oh crap :eep: *Turn to Mickey* YOUR KEYBLADE SHOW UP IN MY HANDS!!!
* Mickey and Riku ran towards Sora*
Mickey: How did it do that :confused: :confused: Sora?
Sora: I don't know Mickey and I don't get it, *turn to Kairi* any more bright ideas Kairi?
Kairi: Maybe, :eep: :eep: :eep: , *Turn to Riku* Riku.
Riku: Yes?
Kairi: Cut Sora's BOTH HANDS.
*Riku did do as he been told then 5 seconds later new hands apear on Sora with a Keyblade on each new hand.*
Sora: I get the point when Keyblade apear but :mad2: WHERE DID THESE HANDS APEAR FROM!!!!:mad2:
*Elsewhere*
Roxas: :cry: MY KEYBLADES, MY HANDS, WHERE DID THE GONE TO AND HOW DID IT HAPPEN!!!!:cry:
Luxord: :eek: I don't know :eek: :greenie: :) :D At lest now you can't ruin my cards like the last time you did :D .

[Jessweeee♪]

Sora: Yeah, I quit the whole keyblade thing.
Kairi: You can't just quit!
Sora: The random popping thing pissed me off, I quit... Deal with it!
*pops in his hands*
WHAT THE FFF- I locked it in a fricken chest and buried it in the sands hoping the sea would take it away so it would float in space and hopefully never be seen again!
*throws the keyblade over Kairi's shoulder as hard as he can, breathing heavily...*
Whew.
*it appears behind his head and knocks him down*
Sora: Oh my GOD!! That's it, I'm gonna melt it.
Kairi: No sora! Here, if I hold it then it will "think" you're holding it.
Sora: Keyblades think?
Kairi: ...Yes?
*Kairi takes the keyblade... Another one pops in Sora's hands.*
Sora: smurf! Another one!? WHAT THE HECK?
Mickey's voice in the distance: HEY WHERE'D MY KEYBLADE GO!?

Sora: :eep: Oh crap :eep: *Turn to Mickey* YOUR KEYBLADE SHOW UP IN MY HANDS!!!
* Mickey and Riku ran towards Sora*
Mickey: How did it do that :confused: :confused: Sora?
Sora: I don't know Mickey and I don't get it, *turn to Kairi* any more bright ideas Kairi?
Kairi: Maybe, :eep: :eep: :eep: , *Turn to Riku* Riku.
Riku: Yes?
Kairi: Cut Sora's BOTH HANDS.
*Riku did do as he been told then 5 seconds later new hands apear on Sora with a Keyblade on each new hand.*
Sora: I get the point when Keyblade apear but :mad2: WHERE DID THESE HANDS APEAR FROM!!!!:mad2:
*Elsewhere*
Roxas: :cry: MY KEYBLADES, MY HANDS, WHERE DID THE GONE TO AND HOW DID IT HAPPEN!!!!:cry:
Luxord: :eek: I don't know :eek: :greenie: :) :D At lest now you can't ruin my cards like the last time you did :D .

ROFLWAFFLE!!!xDDDxDXXd

[Frozen Phantom]

*sora is making a healthy meal of wheat toast (in some house)*

sora:hmm the toast is almost ready...
*some time passes*
sora:damn this toaster....the toast must be stuck, lets see if i can get it out
*keyblade appears*
*keyblade gets caught in the toaster*
*sora gets 999999999 volts of electricity (my story my rules)
*sora dies*

sora:X_X, at I saved some money by switching to gieco's keyblade insurance

(yeah...i know it kind of sucks...its like 2AM and im lacking in the creativity department.....GET THAT AX AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!

*gets mauled by a ax weilding zombie*

(*soaked in blood* thats the last time i leave home without my zomb-aid)

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

hmm, I hope I can come up with a good one.

Sora and Kairi alone on Destiny Islands.

Sora: "Hey, Kairi, let me go get that paopu fruit. I have an idea."
Kairi: "Ok!"
Sora gets paopu fruit.
Sora: "Ok, Kairi open up, so I can feed it to you."
Kairi: "Ok!"
Kairi opens wide and Sora places the paopu fruit in her mouth.
*pop*
Kairi makes gagging noises.
Sora pulls out keyblade.
Kairi: "Geez, Sora, your keyblade went all the way down my throat! Plus, it tasted horrible! I thought you were gonna feed me with a paopu fruit!"
Sora: "Sorry."
The next day:
Riku: "omg the whole keyblade?! Dude, that's amazing!"
Sora: "Yeah, I must do that to her again!"

Oh, right, this would probably be a time that only Kairi would not want a keyblade to pop in Sora's hand. Sora was probably grateful that it occurred!

[_yeojina_]

Sora and friends are having the musical in Atlantica.

Ariel: ...A musical for everyone to have a lot of finny fun...

POP!

The Keyblade popping into Sora's hand knocks the dolphin, who slams into the drummer, who loses a tentacle, which flies into Donald's face, which causes him to cast Thunderga in the whole area, which kills half of Atlantica's population.

Sora: ...Oops. I'm busted, right?

[leader of mortals]

Kairi: Hi Sora
Sora: Hi Kairi
*as they walk by each other...*

POP

*Kairi lies dead*
Sora: :eek:
*Sora realizes something*

Oh wait Sora would like this.

Well anyway fill in the blanks, lol.

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

hmm, I hope I can come up with a good one.

Sora and Kairi alone on Destiny Islands.

Sora: "Hey, Kairi, let me go get that paopu fruit. I have an idea."
Kairi: "Ok!"
Sora gets paopu fruit.
Sora: "Ok, Kairi open up, so I can feed it to you."
Kairi: "Ok!"
Kairi opens wide and Sora places the paopu fruit in her mouth.
*pop*
Kairi makes gagging noises.
Sora pulls out keyblade.
Kairi: "Geez, Sora, your keyblade went all the way down my throat! Plus, it tasted horrible! I thought you were gonna feed me with a paopu fruit!"
Sora: "Sorry."
The next day:
Riku: "omg the whole keyblade?! Dude, that's amazing!"
Sora: "Yeah, I must do that to her again!"

Oh, right, this would probably be a time that only Kairi would not want a keyblade to pop in Sora's hand. Sora was probably grateful that it occurred!

My mind was sooooo in the gutter reading that...

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

whats that mean. it was funny?

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Yes, it was.

[No.78]

I'm pretty sure if a keyblade materialized in your throat you'd be DEAD.

[Weimar Pluto Knight VII]

well, I don't like jokes where people die, so she survived in comical fashion.

[IceAngel]

Sora and friends are having the musical in Atlantica.

Ariel: ...A musical for everyone to have a lot of finny fun...

POP!

The Keyblade popping into Sora's hand knocks the dolphin, who slams into the drummer, who loses a tentacle, which flies into Donald's face, which causes him to cast Thunderga in the whole area, which kills half of Atlantica's population.



Thats a dream! but they dont all have to die.... just make up a new line!
This thread is great!

[Firo Volondé]

*Bevelle Wedding Scene in FFX*

Yuna: Let them go, or I'll jump!
Seymour: Don't be silly. If you fall, you'll die.
Tidus: Yuna!
Yuna: ...don't worry. I can fly.
{Jumps off tower}
Sora: I'll save her! I know Glide!
{Sora is falling handsfirst. Yuna summons Valefor, who lies in wait underneath her}
*POP*
Valefor: Ouch! {Dies}
{Yuna hits the ground}
Sora: Uh, sorry about that!

[leader of mortals]

Sora at destiny islands when he is laying down in the sand

POP

Sora:........................................*dead*

[yojimbosoul]

this thread is awsome

[Xaldin_XIII]

Soras skydiving
"Woohoooo" *Parachute opens and sora raises hands* "WOOOOHOOOO" *POP* *goes through parachute* "ARGHHHHH"!!!!

Sora miracuosly lands safely in the middle of the road "whew"
*Truck zooms past just missing Sora* "Wow this is my lucky day" takes two steps and finds a 1000 munny coin on the road* "WOW TODAY ROCKS!!!!" bends over to get it and *POP* goes through his foot and into the road* "ARGHHH!!!!" *Truck reverses and hits Sora*

[obsessed_wif_yuna]

OMG THIS THREAD IS SO FUNNY!!! umm...

*sora has just bought a brand new only-one-in-the-world lamborghini* *hands salesperson munny*
*driving along the freeway*
*pop* *causes sora to crash into a tree*

Sora: (thinking) OH F*** I FORGOT TO GET THE INSURANCE!!..*jerks*...*jerks*...*dead* X.X

[IceAngel]

Erm this ones not funny but it just came into my head neways....

Sora is in a lift full of people.
*pop*
The people die.

(tumbleweed drifts past)

[Griff]

Roxas' Movie Career:
Director: Ok kid. In this scene you're going to wake up in your adoptive mother's arms in the middle of the street. You will see the large dragon in front of you. Say your line and run at it until the man with the gun arm stops you. ACTION!
Roxas: *wakes up* Son of a Bitch! *pop*
*dragon falls over dead*
Director:CUT! What the hell was that kid! That wasn't in the script. Now we have to go find another dragon. Do you know how much one of those things costs! It's coming out of your salary.
Roxas: damn... *throws away keyblade, which hits and kills director*
Director: *dead*

[Crimson]

LMFAO! i gotta try this

Showdown of fate 2 starts

Sephiroth: You cant defeat your darkness cloud
(Cloud jumps right in front of sora)
Sora: Go Cloud!

*POP*

(Keyblade stabs cloud and kills him)
Sora: whoops
Tifa: Cloud!
Sephiroth: now nothing can stop me
(sephiroth destroys everything)

the end

Sora: THATS IT SCREW THIS KEYBLADE IM SICK AND TIRED OF IT ALWAYS APPEARING!!!!:mad2: :mad2: :mad2:

(Sora throws keyblade in the bin and goes and buys an M-K 47)

sorry couldnt resist :p

sorry for double posting


Instead of apologising, you could use the edit/delete button in future - Psychotic.

[Decessus]

Sora is behind a guy in line.
*Pop*
Guy: Oooh.

[Dragonface]

Sora: Yeah, I quit the whole keyblade thing.
Kairi: You can't just quit!
Sora: The random popping thing pissed me off, I quit... Deal with it!
*pops in his hands*
WHAT THE FFF- I locked it in a fricken chest and buried it in the sands hoping the sea would take it away so it would float in space and hopefully never be seen again!
*throws the keyblade over Kairi's shoulder as hard as he can, breathing heavily...*
Whew.
*it appears behind his head and knocks him down*
Sora: Oh my GOD!! That's it, I'm gonna melt it.
Kairi: No sora! Here, if I hold it then it will "think" you're holding it.
Sora: Keyblades think?
Kairi: ...Yes?
*Kairi takes the keyblade... Another one pops in Sora's hands.*
Sora: smurf! Another one!? WHAT THE HECK?
Mickey's voice in the distance: HEY WHERE'D MY KEYBLADE GO!?

Sora: :eep: Oh crap :eep: *Turn to Mickey* YOUR KEYBLADE SHOW UP IN MY HANDS!!!
* Mickey and Riku ran towards Sora*
Mickey: How did it do that :confused: :confused: Sora?
Sora: I don't know Mickey and I don't get it, *turn to Kairi* any more bright ideas Kairi?
Kairi: Maybe, :eep: :eep: :eep: , *Turn to Riku* Riku.
Riku: Yes?
Kairi: Cut Sora's BOTH HANDS.
*Riku did do as he been told then 5 seconds later new hands apear on Sora with a Keyblade on each new hand.*
Sora: I get the point when Keyblade apear but :mad2: WHERE DID THESE HANDS APEAR FROM!!!!:mad2:
*Elsewhere*
Roxas: :cry: MY KEYBLADES, MY HANDS, WHERE DID THE GONE TO AND HOW DID IT HAPPEN!!!!:cry:
Luxord: :eek: I don't know :eek: :greenie: :) :D At lest now you can't ruin my cards like the last time you did :D .

ROFLWAFFLE!!!xDDDxDXXd
Sora: I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE,*turn to Riku* RIKU WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME!!!:mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :mad2:
Riku: FINE!!!!*Riku killed Sora*
Kairi: RIKU!!!!:mad2: :mad2: :mad2:
Riku: What?
Kairi: I HATE YOU NOW!!!:mad2: :mad2: :mad2: :cry: :cry: I love Sora,:cry: :cry: :cry: I want him to take my virginity but,:cry: :cry: :cry: now..he's..DEAD, YOU A##HOLE!!!!:mad2: :mad2: :mad2:
*Both Keyblade gone from Sora's new, dead hands to Kairi's hands*
Micky: *look at Kairi*Umm...*turn to Riku*nice to know you Riku..*Run away*
Riku: MICKY DON'T LEAVE ME WITH-
*Very Pissed Kairi attack and kill Riku before he could say anything else*
Riku:...
*Roxas apear out of nowhere handless and look at Sora's and Riku's lifeless bodies*
Roxas: :eek: WHAT THE...:eek:
Kairi: :cry: Roxas, I Love you so much that I want to have sex with you.:cry:
Roxas: :eek: (WTF, why does Kairi love me AND want to have sex with me? Naminé is going to kill me if she finds out...):eek:

[leader of mortals]

Kairi: Hi Sora
Sora: Hi Kairi
*as they walk by each other...*

POP

*Kairi lies dead*
Sora: :eek:
*Sora realizes something*

Oh wait Sora would like this.

Well anyway fill in the blanks, lol.

my non sexual version

Kairi: Hi Sora
Sora: Hi Kairi
*as they walk by each other...*

POP

*Kairi lies dead*
Sora: :eek:
Sora: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Riku: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
random dude: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*sora and riku look at him*
Random dude: i didnt want to be left out

[McLovin']

*Kairi and Sora talking*

*keyblade appears in Sora's hand*

Sora: To answer your question, something like that.

;)

[Dragonface]

Sora: 'Kairi.'
Kairi: 'Yes Sora?'
Sora: *Knee down and show a wedding ring* 'Will you marry me?'
Kairi: 'Yes I do.'
*Keyblade replace ring*
Sora: 'Will the Keyblade will do?'
Kairi: 'Well, the Keyblade did apear where the ring was. So yea the Keyblade will have to.'
KeyBlade: 'HELL NO. I AM NOT A WEDDING KEYBLADE!!!'
Sora&Kairi: 'THEN YOU SOUNDN'T APEAR AND REPLACE A WEDDING RING!!!'

[leader of mortals]

*sora scratches his butt*

*POP*

Sora: Riku is that you?

[Dragonface]

*In a Library.*

Naminé: :eep: ...:eep: *Reading a book titled 'How to get your man for dummies'*:eep: ...:eep:
*Keyblade apear in Naminé's free hand*
Keyblade: :p WATS UP!!!:p
Naminé: *Look at the Keyblade* :eek: OMFG!!!!!!:eek:

[IceAngel]

LMAO talking keyblades... wot will they think of next :tongue:

[Dragonface]

~ At the beach ~

Shadow: FINALLY, no hearts to hunt, no boss/es to order us, and no Key bearer to kill us.
Dusk, Soldier & Neoshadow: Yea...
*Sound 'Ping!'*
Shadow: That better be the bell!
Keyblade: COME ON SORA, LET ME KILL THEM!!!!
Dusk: ITS THE KEY BEARER, RUN FOR SOULS!!!!
*Dusk&Heartless ran away*
Sora: GOD DANM YOU KEYBLADE!!!!

[Eiko Guy]

Sora behind some gay guy *pop*
guy: oooh behave

[Dragonface]

~ At the beach ~

Shadow: FINALLY, no hearts to hunt, no boss/es to order us, and no Key bearer to kill us.
Dusk, Soldier & Neoshadow: Yea...
*Sound 'Ping!'*
Shadow: That better be the bell!
Keyblade: COME ON SORA, LET ME KILL THEM!!!!
Dusk: ITS THE KEY BEARER, RUN FOR SOULS!!!!
*Dusk&Heartless ran away*
Sora: GOD DANM YOU KEYBLADE!!!!

OCC: Yes I'm quoting myself.

~ In Kairi's bedroom ~

Kairi: ZZZZZZZZ!
Shadow: God, what a heaver sleeper. I will rape her, and she's think she having sex with Sora.
*Keyblade apear in Kairi's hand*
Keyblade: What are you doing??
Shadow: Oh Crap! I forgot that she can also use a Keyblade...

[Omega_Weapon]

He comes a sick spoiler so if u hate sick stuff stay away Sora is....pleasuring himself then...pop...the keyblade appears and he stabs his own....

[Dragonface]

~ At the Art Class ~

Naminé: OK, this master piece took me THREE YEARS to get it done. Now for the final fix-up before...
*Keyblade replace paint brush, ripping thought paper*
Naminé: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I HATE BEING KAIRI'S NOBODY!!!!!

[*~Angel Wing~*]

Sora behind some gay guy *pop*
guy: oooh behave
lmao :lol:

[Dragonface]

Kairi behind some lady *pop*
Lady: HELP ME, *Point to Kairi* THAT MAN JUST RAPE ME!!!
Kairi: First of all I'M A GIRL, second...
FBI: We require backup, we got an armed rapest, stop him!*Guns starts pointing at Kairi*
Kairi: crap...

Here another.

~ At the Black Pearl ~

Sora: Here you go Jack.*Pass a Keyblade to Jack, few seconds later another appear in Sora's hand* What the...?
Donald: Oh boy.
Goofy: I guest that Jack is also the Keyblade master now because it didn't gone out of his hand.
Jack: Oh goody.
Sora: If that the case then where this one came from?
~ At the same time in Twilight Town ~
Micky: Hay where did my KEYBLADE gone off to?
Riku: I don't know, I don't know.

[Ashley Schovitz]

Huh isn't Sora able to control when he wants the keyblade, in that fight I recall him doing it on purpose, Roxas must've never learned how to summon it, or he might've just forgot.

[Dragonface]

Sora takes his PS3 back to gamespot. "Sorry, you can't take it back. You should have gotten our keyblade insurrance! hahahahaha!"
Roxas walks in. "Hey, Sora, you forgot to get keyblade insurrance huh. hahahahaha! Yeah, I think I'll get that."
*pop*
Sora: "Hahaha, you didn't buy your insurrance, yet."
gamespot guy: "That'll be $800, Mr. Roxas."
Roxas: "NOOOOOO"


gamespot clerk: "Whoops, Roxas, I mean 800 munny. That's if you want to buy another PS3."
Roxas: "Oh, it's easy to get that kinda munny in this game. I happen to have 99999 munny."
gamestop clerk: "Sold!"
*pop*
Sora: "Hahaha!"
Roxas: "Noooooo"
Last 4 lines of action repeat for several days.
Ken Kutaragi at E3 2007: "We have already sold more than the Wii, making us the better system according to the fans! At least in Twilight Town where we've sold several million. Which is kinda funny considering there are only about 20 people who live there."
Satoru Iwada: "That dirty..." *tries to make a keyblade appear in his hand but that would be when you'd want one, so it didn't work.
~ Elsewhere in Mircosoft HQ ~
Bills Gate: That dirty... *tries to make a keyblade appear in his hand but fail* ...wait...I got a better idea, Master C(from Halo)!
MC: Yes sir.
Bills Gate: You and Mr marine (From Doom 3) must kipnap Sora and Roxas, as well as make them to buy a Xbox360.
MC: YES SIR!
~ 15 years later ~
Ken Kutaragi at E3 2022: We have sold our Playstation 4 more than what Nintendo and Mircosoft due to we have much more money than them. Nintendo had just give up on hardware a year ago, Mircosoft on the other hand had used too much on something else other than theirs. As to what MS did we Sony do not know.
Satoru Iwada: GOD DAMN THOUGHTS MIRCOSOFT!!!*Look at his workers* HURRY UP, WE STILL NEED TO MAKE SOME SOFTWARE GAMES FOR THE PS4!!!
Bills Gate: GOD DAMN US!!!!

[leader of mortals]

Sora: *in line at a movie theater*
*pop*
Movie official: Ok have all the munny in the register
Sora: But i dont want the...
Movie official: JUST TAKE THE GOD-DAMNED MUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sora: *takes the munny and has 27.713 billion fbi agents come after him(even though there arent that many people on earth)*
Sora: DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AngelofSatire]

I THOUGHT OF ONE!!!!!

Kairi-*Is brishing her hair*
*Pop*
*Looks at her head* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!:eek:

Do ya like?:kaodizzy:

[Dragonface]

Sora behind some gay guy *pop*
guy: oooh behave
lmao :lol:

*Order from fount to back of the line (Goofy, Donald, Sora, Kairi, Roxas, Naminé, Riku, Mickey) waiting for their food at KFC*
All:...
*Pops (aka more than one keyblade apear)*
Sora: Is that you Riku?
Roxas: Is that you Axel?
Naminé: Help, someones raping me!
Kairi: Me too but with two times THE POWER!
Riku: WHO THE HECK IS DOING THIS TO ME!!!!
Mickey: Oh ####en crap...
Donald: HELP ME, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE FOOD OF KFD!!!!!!!
Goofy: EVERYONE, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eiko Guy]

I laughed so hard I had to wait a few minutes to type this

[AngelofSatire]

Sora-I wuv you Kairi! *Hugs Kairi*

Kairi-I wuv-

(PoP)

Kairi-So.....ra.......

Sora-Is it just me or is this all a bad joke!!:mad:

[Dragonface]

~ At Disney Castle ~

*King Mickey putting gule on his hand and grab his keyblade*
Mickey: HA! Let see you try that keyblade o mine.

~ At the Big Shell (setting in Metal Gear Soild 2)~

Sora: Does anyone know where are we?
Samus: I'm checking it out.
James: Are we there yet?
Goofy: SHUT UP!!!!!!
Donald&Nemesis: .......

*vamp shows up*
Vamp: Give me your blood!
Nemesis: DIE!
Sora: Yea, you're going to make us...
*Sora summon his keyblade and did with another in the other with something wet...*
Sora: NOT AGAIN...wait....King Mickey?
Mickey: Hey Sora, how did I got here...?*puke on Sora's face*...sorry.

[AngelofSatire]

I thought of A LOT!!!!!:D


Sora-I'm the keyblade master!*Points to self*
Riku-So Am I!
(Pop!)
Sora-....ughhhhh......*Stabbed with own Keyblade*
Riku-So does that make me the keyblade master now?

Sora-*In a glass shop* Now to find a gift for Kairi.......
*PoP*
(Everything in the store breaks)
Store Owner-*annoyed* I'm sure you'll be paying for all the damages!
Sora-*Pulling out wallet* How much will it be THIS time....:mad:

[Eiko Guy]

sora on an airplane
sora "excuse me can I have"
(pop)
crowd "terrorist get him"
sora jumps out window and uses glide "I win"

[Dragonface]

~ At the pool ~

Kairi: Wow, nice wetsuit Naminé. *Grap Naminé's white wetsuit*
Naminé: Thanks, yours are nicer than mine. *Grap Kairi's pink wetsuit*
Kairi: Oh you bad girl.
*cue the keyblades for the girls, which made it look like the girls are now nude*

~ 2m away from Kairi and Naminé ~

Sora: OOH...
Roxas: ...MY...
Riku: ...HOLY...
Mickey: ...GOD!
*Each guy had a nose bleed, put his own hand in his trunk, playing with his thing (EOFF don't want to hear)*
SRRM(all the same time): Oh baby...
*cue the keyblades for the guys, each keyblade skicking out*
SRRM: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Kairi: Naminé, we got ourself some peeking toms. Let beat'em with our keyblades.
Naminé: No need to, their keyblade did the work for us.

[The Mog Ninja]

it was funny until the perverted guys posted

[Dragonface]

~ At TWTNW ~

Xemnas: Ok everynobody, Sora's heading our way so get your weapen ready from the bag that Roxas holding.
*Cue the keyblade, replacing the O13's bag of weapens by Roxas' Keyblades*
Xemnas: GOD DAMN YOU 13! THAT THE 6238375TH TIME IT HAPPEN! THAT IT! YOU FIGHT SORA ALONE!!!!!
O13 (ex Xemnas, Roxas and Demyx): YEA!
Roxas: Why me...?*crying*
Demyx: YAHOOOOO!
Others: What?
Demyx: I'm not fighting Sora!
*Last line repeat for 10 years*
Everyone (ex Demyx): SHUT UP DEMYX!!!!!

[Eiko Guy]

huh?

[G3ORGE]

lol imagine him being a surgeon and suddenly (pop) ouch!

[Dragonface]

~ In TWTNW ~

Roxas: Guys, I got a flu...
Xemnas: Nobodies don't get flus.
Xigbar: We don't get NORMAL flu, but what kind of...
Roxas: AHCOOOOOOOOOO!
*Flu has a new wimp, Demyx*
Demyx: WHY ME!!!!!
*Ping, keyblade apear in Roxas' AND Demyx's hands*
Every Other Nobodies: WTF?
Xaldin: I get the point about Roxas but, for DEMYX that I don't unders...
*All Nobodies have finally can feel fear, and now in a bad timing*
All Nobodies (ex Roxas and Demyx): NOT THAT FLU, ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!! *And they start running with REAL fear on their face (even the Fearless Xaldin have Real fear)*

*A week later*

Riku: Ummm, Mickey...
Mickey: What is it Riku?
Riku: Have you got a funny feeling that there is NO Nobodies in this world?
Mickey: Yea, this is not right at all...
*The fearless Xaldin ran past Riku and Mickey, only say one line over and over*
Xaldin: Run, run away!
*Riku and Mickey are dumbfold at this*
Riku: WTF was that?
*The nutty Saïx ran past them after Xaldin, only for Riku and Mickey to see what has come next, ping! Keyblade apear in place of the claymore*
Saïx: OMG, it got me, HELP ME!!!!*Yelling like a littel girl when they are fear of something*
Riku: Mickey...
Mickey: Yes...
Riku: Did you saw what I saw?
Mickey: I know one thing we can do.
Riku: What?
Mickey: We quit smoking, my wife was piss when I smoke at her.
Riku: Good point, Sora is making me quit smokes and make Kairi quit drinking at the same time, lucky jacka$$.
Mickey: you want some.
Riku: Yes.
*Mickey and Riku start smoking and saw Xigbar carrying 25 Keyblades*
Xigbar: I GOT TOO MANY!!!!!!*Ping! 5 MORE keyblades added* WILL THIS ENDS!!!!!!!!!!

* A Month later *
*Axel, Luxord and Naminé has return from their hoilday*

Axel: Finally, we're back...
Naminé: Yes Axel we're back home AND workplace.
Luxord: Odd...Where did everynobody go?
Naminé: There a sign says...
Sign:Due to the flu we have, this world will not be alound to has anybody AND/OR anynobody to live or checking at all for at least ten years from the date 13 Feb 2006 (This is when the flu started).
Signed by Xemnas the King of Nobodies & King Mickey
8&10 (Thinking to themself): WTF HAS HAPPEN?
Axel: WHERE ARE WE GOING TO LIVE FOR TEN YEARS???
Naminé: *sign* We might as well to live with Sora, Kairi and Riku...

[Edge7]

Kairi: Namine I like your new dress
*pop*
*rip*
Namine: Kairi you little bi**ch!
Sora, Rikku, Roxas: Catfight!
Micky&Goofy: Cats!
*Mickey runs away to cower*
*Goffy becomes a mutant dog on a rampage*
Goofy: WHERE ARE THE CATS!

[Dragonface]

< Very pissed off Mickey >

Mickey: I'm getting sick of when my Keyblade always disapear on its own, I'm going to kill the first Keyblade master I see...*Sora apear*...TIME TO DIE SORA! *As Mickey jump and to strike Sora, his Keyblade just disapear* S#IT! *Mickey missed Sora, landed and fall in a pithole trap* WTF DID THIS TRAP CAME FROM?????

*Elsewhere*

Kairi: WTF SET OF MY TRAP THAT I MADE SO I CAN GET MY LUCKY FROM SORA, AND WTF IS HE ANYWAY????????

*To Sora infact....*

Sora: Pretty...
Naminé: You can put your hands on them if you like.
Sora: Your Boobs are softer than Kairi's.
Naminé: Oh Sora. *Blush*

< Can Keyblade work on card slots? >

Roxas: Axel, why did you put MY PSP in Xenmas' locker?
Axel: Cause Mansex just upgrade his locker and wondering that 'Can your Keyblade unlock' that? *Point to card slot*
Roxas: I don't know, lets try it...*Ready to unlock the lock but...nothing happen* ...Nope...I got an idea *Roxas has summon a BIG ID CARD with a SHEILD HANDER*
Axel: WTF IS THAT????
Roxas: Its a 'KEYSHEILD', its like a Keyblade but works more like a Sheild. *Roxas try unlocking the lock again, its works* Finaly...*Pick up his PSP and walk away*
Axel: ...

*Later, Xemnas' walking to his locker...*

Xemnas: WHO UNLOCK MY LOCKER AND HOW???????????
Axel: Roxas did it, with a 'Keysheild'.
Xemnas: A KEYSHEILD?!? Thats new to me...*goes of plotting of what a Keysheild is*

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

Fill this one with your imagination
Kairi: Oh, Sora. Yes, yes.
Key blade appears
Kairi: Owwww!!! Sora that hurts...get it out...ahhhhh!!!

[Dragonface]

< Very pissed off Mickey >

Mickey: I'm getting sick of when my Keyblade always disapear on its own, I'm going to kill the first Keyblade master I see...*Sora apear*...TIME TO DIE SORA! *As Mickey jump and to strike Sora, his Keyblade just disapear* S#IT! *Mickey missed Sora, landed and fall in a pithole trap* WTF DID THIS TRAP CAME FROM?????

*Elsewhere*

Kairi: WTF SET OF MY TRAP THAT I MADE SO I CAN GET MY LUCKY FROM SORA, AND WTF IS HE ANYWAY????????

*To Sora infact....*

Sora: Pretty...
Naminé: You can put your hands on them if you like.
Sora: Your Boobs are softer than Kairi's.
Naminé: Oh Sora. *Blush*

< Can Keyblade work on card slots? >

Roxas: Axel, why did you put MY PSP in Xenmas' locker?
Axel: Cause Mansex just upgrade his locker and wondering that 'Can your Keyblade unlock' that? *Point to card slot*
Roxas: I don't know, lets try it...*Ready to unlock the lock but...nothing happen* ...Nope...I got an idea *Roxas has summon a BIG ID CARD with a SHEILD HANDER*
Axel: WTF IS THAT????
Roxas: Its a 'KEYSHEILD', its like a Keyblade but works more like a Sheild. *Roxas try unlocking the lock again, its works* Finaly...*Pick up his PSP and walk away*
Axel: ...

*Later, Xemnas' walking to his locker...*

Xemnas: WHO UNLOCK MY LOCKER AND HOW???????????
Axel: Roxas did it, with a 'Keysheild'.
Xemnas: A KEYSHEILD?!? Thats new to me...*goes of plotting of what a Keysheild is*

< Very pissed of Mickey P2 >
~ A week Later ~

Mickey: *)(* Moron *Riku Apear* DIE PRICK!!! *Mickey jumped to attack Riku but, his Keyblade disapear again* CRAP! *Riku hit Mickey with the Soul Eater* NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo *ping*
Riku: HOME RUN, TAKE THAT YOU USELESS HEARTLESS!!!!
~ As where Mickey's Keyblade gone off to... ~
Xigbar: MY EYE! MY EYE! WHY ROXAS WHY?
Roxas: DUDE, I'm behind you...
Xigbar: If you're behind me then...NAMINÉ!!!!!!GET YOUR F###EN KEYBLADE OUT OF MY EYE OTHERWISE YOU WILL LOSE YOUR'S!!!!!!!

[Twilight Edge]

Sephiroth beats the crap outta Sora. Keyblade appears in his hands.

Sora: Wha?
Sephy: BWAHAHAHAH!
Sora: Hey Donald, gimme another keychain.
Donald: Okay.
*Sephy used both the keyblade and the Masamune to beat the second crap outta Sora again, now Sephy has two keyblades*
Sephy: BWAHAHAH!!
Sora: Roxas! Goofy!
Roxas: Roger that!
*Goofy gave Sora another two keyblades, Roxas fused with Sora's body with help from Donald, now SoraRoxas has 4 keyblades*
*Spehiroth puts his Masamune in his mouth, holds both keyblades in hands*
Mickey: Wow! It's Roronoa Zoro(from One Piece) versus a Kangaroo!
Donald and Goofy: WHA?????
SoraRoxas: GIMME ANOTHER TWO KEYBLADES!
*does so*
*SoraRoxas let go of their keyblades, now six keyblades surround Sephiroth, yeah, THAT)
Sora: OMNISLASH VERSION KINGDOM HEARTS!
*omnislash*
Cloud: I'M SUEING YOU FOR COPYRIGHT PURPOSES!
Phoenix Wright: Indeed.
*Kairi and Namine got pissed because Cloud sued Sora*
*pop*
*kills them both*

Moral: Never sue someone whose girlfriend owns a keyblade.

[Fonzie]

http://www.ugoplayer.com/animation/thekingdomheartschronicles.html

Every KH joke you ever need. LUMO'S!

[Clawsze]

http://www.ugoplayer.com/animation/thekingdomheartschronicles.html

Every KH joke you ever need. LUMO'S!

Seen it, liked it, LOLed it, spread it and I did all that LAST year......

Harry:I'm off to play crickit.

[Dragonface]

http://www.ugoplayer.com/animation/thekingdomheartschronicles.html

Every KH joke you ever need. LUMO'S!

Seen it, liked it, LOLed it, spread it and I did all that LAST year......

Harry:I'm off to play crickit.

OOC: Wrong place to post that, as this 'Keyblade related' jokes are getting harder to come up with...this will have to do for now...

< Very pissed of Mickey THREE >

*Another week later*

Mickey: There got to be another way...*Roxas apear out of nowhere* GET READY TO DIE NOBODY *Start to attack Roxas, but before landing a hit...Mickey's Keyblade disapear* OH NO *Roxas summon BOTH of his Keyblades. Use one to spin himself, use the other to whack a mouse* KING MICKEY BLASTING OFF AGAINNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnn....*ping*
Roxas: THAT GOT TO BE THE 100TH TIME NAMINÉ DID THAT TO ME!!!!!!

[Positive_Darkness]

Sora: Well, thanks for the new job!
Boss: No problem, now to shake on it!
*Ping*
Sora: Oops.
Boss: YOU TRIED TO KILL ME! YOU ARE FIRED! SECURITY!

[Mercen-X]

about post 9 notice that the keyblade dissappears afterwards
The point is losing the ability to "finish."



*Kairi and Sora talking*

*keyblade appears in Sora's hand*

Sora: To answer your question, something like that.
Family Guy quote!! awesome.


*sora scratches his butt*

*POP*

Sora: Riku is that you? THAT IS JUST WRONG



Sora: Yea, you're going to make us...
*Sora summon his keyblade and did with another in the other with something wet...*
What?


*cue the keyblades for the girls, which made it look like the girls are now nude*
How?

How old are you? Try studying up on innuendo, get your f-ing unfunny jokes out of the gutter.

Also I don't think the Keyblade can kill. It surely can't stab people (although the Soul Eater version could), and it would take a pretty powerful whack to crush somebody to death. The keyblade appearing out of nowhere wouldn't kill anybody... but it might get stuck in somebody's body... maybe it wouldn't be possible to remove it without them dying.

:| Sora asks Harry Potter to use expeliarmis. Sora's keyblade is flung out to space. Sora celebrates and runs to hug Hermione. The keyblade appears and pokes her. Ron uses avada cadavre on Sora. Sora comes back as a heartless. The keyblade appears and Sora transforms into Roxas. "How the hell did I get here?"

[Positive_Darkness]

Here's a big one:
________________________________________________
You're on a date, you and your date lean in for a kiss.
The keyblade appears in your hand and your date gets...
poked in the gut. Date grabs keyblade, smacks you over..
the head.
________________________________________________
Another:
You're running in P.E. (gym class), you're about to high....
five one of your friends. The keyblade pops out and you...
hit your friend over the head. Then you get detention. :P
________________________________________________