cloud and tifa playing FF7.

[boys from the dwarf]

some of you may now about goldenbocos thing in the writers corner about squall and rinoa playing FF8 together. its funny and heres a link to it. http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=90916

if you like this stuff you are officially cool :cool: .

anyway heres mine for FF7. its basically cloud and tifa playing FF8 together with occasional visits and interruptions from other characters in the game.

important:

i can only find screenshots from FMVs so if anyone knows of a site where i can get normal screen shots from in the game it would save me loads of trouble.

its funny and seriously cute.

here it is.

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/01-introduction/00023.jpg

cloud: tifa! its starting.
tifa: finally.
cloud: come on. it'll be fun,
tifa: o.k.

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/01-introduction/00037.jpg

cloud: look im about to do something cool!
tifa: *looks.*

*cloud flips off the train and stumbles and falls over.*

cloud:... i swear that never happened. someones messed with this game....hey! why are you looking at biggs like that?
tifa: why are you looking at jesse like that? i just wanted to make you jelous.
cloud: i uh wasnt looking at jesse *looks guilty.*
tifa: sure. whatever. anyway. my turn. *snatches controller.*
cloud: fine.
*barret comes in.*
barret: hey! its my scene soon!
cloud: oh. hello barret.
tifa: *giggling*
cloud: what the *looks at screen.* hey!! you named me clod!
barret: shouldnt you get off your spikey ass and look after marlene and denzel? video games cant be good for you man...clod? she called you clod? hahahahahahah!!! *continues laughing.*
cloud: tifa? give me the controller.
*names barret arsehole.*
cloud: hah! we sure showed him.
barret: fine. * walks off.*



more coming soon and remember. if you know a website that has pictures of normal gameplay. please tell me because right now i only have screenshots from FMVs and it would save me a lot of time and trouble if someone helped me with that.

[Goldenboko]

Good job Dwarf!
I've got to go so I can't post an episode in here right now but maybe tonight.

[boys from the dwarf]

ive found some normal gameplay pictures but if you know of a site with loads of pictures please tell me.

http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/ff7/screenshots/images/002.png

cloud:hey! why are you looking at biggs like that?
tifa: why are you looking at jesse like that? i just wanted to make you jelous.
cloud: i uh wasnt looking at jesse *looks guilty.*
tifa: sure. whatever. anyway. my turn. *snatches controller.*
cloud: fine.
*barret comes in.*

http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/ff7/screenshots/images/005.png

barret: hey! its my scene soon!
cloud: oh. hello barret.
tifa: *giggling*
cloud: what the *looks at screen.* hey!! you named me clod!
barret: shouldnt you get off your spikey ass and look after marlene and denzel? video games cant be good for you man...clod? she called you clod? hahahahahahah!!! *continues laughing.*
cloud: tifa? give me the controller.
*names barret arsehole.*
cloud: hah! we sure showed him.
barret: fine. * walks off.*

http://www.unlimitedgamer.net/image.php?id=coverage/ff7/images/ff7_fmv_screenshot_036.jpg

*fighting the boss.*

cloud: o.k. be careful. just remember. dont attack when the tails...
tifa: yeah yeah. relax. its the first boss. its designed to be impossible to lose... limit break! die! *counters with tail laser.*
cloud: i really think you should give the contro...
tifa: never! cant you see im winning? tail laser again? oh yeah well lets see how he likes another limit break! *counters.*
cloud:...
tifa: o.k. so its designed to be almost impossible to lose.

http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/ff7/screenshots/images/009.png

cloud: you forgot to save jesse.
tifa: no i didnt. i mean. that explosion killed 100's of people and i saw you checking out jesse...h,hey! game over screen? whats that for?

http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/ff7/screenshots/images/013.png

tifa: great! this is thebit where you take on all of those soilders and win. your so brave.
cloud: (oh crap. i only told her that so she'd think im a hero. need an idea. ah hah!) *hugs tifa. to his chest.*
tifa: *mmph.* cloud? i can barely breathe.
cloud: (just a little bit longer.) *lets her go.* wow. i never remember beating them all so quickly. its a shame you missed. it.
tifa: *suspicious.

[Fatihin_Malaysia_Girl]

I'm agree

[Aralith]

tifa: great! this is thebit where you take on all of those soilders and win. your so brave.
cloud: (oh crap. i only told her that so she'd think im a hero. need an idea. ah hah!) *hugs tifa. to his chest.*
tifa: *mmph.* cloud? i can barely breathe.
cloud: (just a little bit longer.) *lets her go.* wow. i never remember beating them all so quickly. its a shame you missed. it.
tifa: *suspicious.
That was amazing! Hilarious! Keep it coming. I want to see more.

[boys from the dwarf]

http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/ff7/screenshots/images/029.png

*cloud and tifa play on until the scene where reno comes.*

soldier (in game.): reno! you want this guy taken out?
*reno walks into the room.*
reno: nah. hes not my type.
tifa: hey! its reno!
cloud: oh. its you.
tifa: *looks at reno.* *sighs*
cloud: that does it! im the cool one here!
reno: relax man. thats nearly everyones reaction to seeing me.
cloud: grrr! *reaches for sword.*
tifa: come on. just sit back down.

http://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff7/graphics/location/church/church05.jpg

reno: hey! i remember this bit. you have to push that barrel next to you.
cloud:o.k. *presses button.*
*barrel lands and nearly hits aeris.*
cloud:...
reno: o.k. o.k. my mistake. you need to push that one over there!
cloud:*barrel lands in wrong place again.* grrr. your doing this deliberatly to make the turks win!
reno: i am not.
cloud: yeah you are.
reno: not.
cloud: are.
reno:not.
cloud: are are are!!
reno: not not not!!
*slap fight.*
tifa: oh god.

not my best one yet but im thinking of more funny things.

[Sefie1999AD]

That's pretty funny so far. :) A problem I have is that most of the pictures aren't working at the moment. *can't wait until Cloud and Tifa get to the part where Cloud gets cross-dressed for Don Corneo*

[Zeromus_X]

I smell Cheese/tell me how to play material. :) But don't hotlink images from CoN, use Photobucket or something instead.

[boys from the dwarf]

im looking forwards to that and the date scenes. ill have more by the end of the day and goldenboco might make a few if he isnt too busy with his squall and rinoa playing FF8 thread. the pictures work fine for me. can you tell me which pictures because ill be able to find out which website they are from and stop using pics from there maybe. cant gaurantee anything because it is pretty tricky to find all of these pictures.

EDIT: so are the only ones that dont work the ones from cavesofnarshe.com? if so ill stop using those. thanks for telling me and expect more soon.

EDIT: o.k! i forgot to do one of the parts so here is a part from earlier on in the game and the cross-dressing scene.

*in seventh heaven bar.*

http://bluelaguna.net/viewimage/ff7/images/92.jpg

Cloud: *playing FF7.* hmm. im trying to remember how much i had to drink that night.
Tifa (in game): would you like something to drink.
Cloud (in game): gimme something hard. *drinks alcohol.*
tifa: i think you must have had at least 3 of those strong drink things.
cloud: did you have any?
tifa: i think so. i cant really remember.
cloud: thats odd.
* play on until the point where they rest up and sleep in the hideout.*
cloud (in game): *wakes up with with arm across tifa.*
cloud: what? i dont remember that!
tifa: *angry.*
cloud: do you think we... well you know.
tifa: what do you mean?
cloud: you know. me.. and you erm together?
tifa: just spit it out!
cloud: do you think we had sex!
tifa: the hell!!! you dont beat around the bush, do you!?!?
cloud: but you said...
tifa: shut up.
cloud: aww. come on. neither of us remember it and i swear someones messed with this game.


ill do more later on today or in the morning. i still need ideas for the cross dressing scene.

[Owen Macwere]

LOl, all these were funny, keep up the great work. :p

[boys from the dwarf]

yeah. im pretty proud of that most recent one myself. ill have another one in the morning.

[Goldenboko]

Well I think I'll do one.

Cloud: Popcorn?
Tifa: Check!
Cloud: Ps1
Tifa: Check!
Cloud: Final Fantasy 7?
Tifa: Check!
Cloud: Controller?
Barret: Get on with it spikey!
Red XIII: Yes, we all didn't come here to listen to you list the supplies.
Cait Sith: Yeah, get on with it lassie!
Cloud: Did you just call me a girl?!?
Cait Sith: Maybe...
Cloud: Alright Tita, I mean Tifa, turn it on...
Tifa whispers to Cloud: I told you, in bed thats fine, but in front of people... I kill you.

Tifa: I'm turning it on...
Cid: Your turning me on!
Cloud: Shut up...

The End (I'll leave the ending of the party to your imagination)

[Aralith]

Tifa: I'm turning it on...
Cid: Your turning me on!
Cloud: Shut up...
Truly amazing! Aboslutely hilarious!

[Goldenboko]

Thx

[boys from the dwarf]

nice one boco. here the wall mart cross dressing scene.

http://www.cavesofnarshe.com/ff7/screenshots/images/040.png

cloud: *skipping text and rushing past the scene.* thank goodness your the only one who know about this...and you can stop laughing!
tifa: hahaha! *goes into other room and starts calling someone on the phone.*
cloud: *mumbling.* i cant believe i did this. why couldnt aeris do it herself?! goodbye self-respect. *tifa comes back in.* who were you calling?
tifa: oh. no one.
cloud:hmmm. *continues playing.*
*cid,barret,cait sith,red,yuffie and vincent come in.*
cloud: what the? oh god, no! i cant let them see me like that.
cid: *looks at screen.* so er whos that cutie?
cloud: *thinking.* cutie? does he mean...me. oh god.
tifa: *laughing.*
red: cid. thats not a woman. thats...
cid: hmm. i wonder if shes my type?
red: cid. you really should know...
cid: shut up! cant you see im busy?!
cloud: ugh. kill me now.
tifa: *still laughing.*
cloud: what the? you called them over to see this!
cid: what do you mean by that?!
tifa: *whispers to cid.*
cid: WHAT!!! do you mean...er she's a... but he's a...
yuffie: awww! cloud. you look so cute cute like that!
cloud:...stop it.
cait sith: id never have predicted this happening in a million years!
cloud: shut up!
tifa: *continuing playing.* cloud? don corneo just picked you.
cloud: you have no idea how much im going to kill all of you. but first theres just one thing i have to say. *takes deep breath.* *ROMFG CENSOREDNESS! HAPPY SQUIRRELS! LALALA! CENSORED! :choc2: :moomba: :choc2: :moomba: :choc2: :moomba: :choc2: :moomba: :choc2: :moomba: :choc2: :choc: :mog: :moomba::choc: :mog: :choc2:.

[Owen Macwere]

Lol, :p

[boys from the dwarf]

ideas and links to good picture sites would be appreciated. this isnt exactly easy. ill try and think of one for tomorrow. and i like to know what your favourite parts are. its nice to know what funny stuff works well.

[Leen-Leen]

This is very funny, just like the FF8 one. Problem is, some of the images have that "don't hotlink" thing, so maybe you should save the images onto your own computer and then upload those images on an image hosting site, like Photobucket.

Other then that, everything's really good, with or without the images. I liked that censored bit. Happy squirrels!! :D

[boys from the dwarf]

ive just read the FF8 one. i cant believe how much boco has done. i wake up to see all of that? its really dwarfed this thread but ill do my best to continue with the funny stuff.

ive got an idea for one but i still need to think of more funny stuff to put in it. expect it later on in the day.

[Sefie1999AD]

Haha, the ones where Cloud and Tifa had forgotten whether they did it or not, and the cross-dressing scene were quite funny. I'd have hoped to hear Cloud's in-game line to Tifa, "Next to you, who wouldn't?" Poor Cloud during the cross-dressing scene. If you want some suggestions, try to have all the characters be there for some reason. For example, Barret and Vincent didn't say or do anything during the cross-dressing scene even though they also came to watch the game. Hmm, I have a feeling Cloud will get back to Tifa much, much later, at the end of Disk 2. "Were you all... watching? *falls down on her knees*"

[boys from the dwarf]

yeah. im looking forwards to that under the highwind scene where they obviously have some sort of imtimacy after all. tifa does say at one point "words arent the only way to show how you feel." or something like that.

anyway. heres another.

*cloud and tifa play up to the shinra building.*

barret: cloud man. your getting addicted. what about marlene and denzel?
cloud: what about them?
barret: right now denzel is eating cold beans from a shoe with a comb. and you should see marlene. shes fine tuning her mental powers and bending spoons...and shes knitted you this sweater.
tifa:thats just weird.
cloud: *not paying attention.* uh huh. yep. i know what you mean.
tifa:...
cloud: hmmm. yes. uh huh.
barret: you can stop pretending to listen now.
cloud: finally! anyway. hmm. breaks into the building with guns and swords or take the secret entrance? *takes long way with the stairs.*
barret: but cloud! marlene and denz...
cloud: no doing that talking thing!
barret: but...
cloud: you opened your mouth again!
barret: fine.
tifa (in game): dont be a retard and start climbing.
cloud: its funny because she not calling me a retard!
barret: THAT does it!

*goes off to meet everyone else.*

barret: clouds ogne too far with this game! what i intend for us to do is to buy 1,000s of strategy guide for FF7 and post them to everyone in midgar! clouds cross-dressing secret will be revealed!
cid: /xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif/xxx.gif! thats evil.
yuffie: and i thought sephiroth was bad.
cait sith: destroying the worlds one thing but this is another.

narrator: what will happen when barret unleashes his master plan? will cloud ever redeem himself from that cross-dressing scene? do you like kittens? find out after the break! *gunshot*

vincent: *puts away gun.* that was annoying.
yuffie: who the hell was that guy anyway?

[Goldenboko]

:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Very good!

[f f freak]

That was funny.

[boys from the dwarf]

yay me! thats probably my favourite so far. as usual. keep tuned. im trying to get at least one of these per day.

[f f freak]

I would like to see more Vincent

[Goldenboko]

More of Vincent huh?
MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Boco: SHUT UP QUISTIS!

Anyway Episode 4 I think

Vincent sneaks in Cloud's and starts playin...


Cloud wakes up to strange giggling thinking it was Tifa but she was sleeping right next to him...
Goes downstairs (Giggling gets louder...)
takes a couple steps forward (Giggling gets louder...)
Walks toward living room (Giggling gets louder...)
Peeks in to see Vincent playing FF7 and giggling like a little girl...
Vincent turns to him...

Vincent: uhhhh... you never saw this okay?

To be continued...

[f f freak]

LOL that was hilarious.

[Owen Macwere]

LOl, very funny, Vincent giggling. :laugh:

[f f freak]

Vincent giggling like a girl.

[Jessweeee♪]

Vincent giggling like a little school girl.

[Hambone]

Vincent giggling like a little anorexic pre-teen school girl. Did I go to far?

[boys from the dwarf]

i cant think of anything right now but ill have one for tomorrow.

[Leen-Leen]

Vincent giggling like a little anorexic pre-teen school girl. Did I go to far?

nah. there's probably a worse way to describe vincent giggling.

[Aralith]

That Vincent gunshot thing was hilarious! I love it! More. More I say! MAKE MORE!!! *ahem* Sorry about that. Just make more, so I can continue my laughing.

[boys from the dwarf]

o.k. new one!

narrator: previously, barret set into action his master plan to distribute FF7 strategy guides all over midgar to...
vincent: look. shut up unless you want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life.


*cloud and tifa playing up to the point where they are imprisoned in the shinra building.*

http://www.eyesonff.com/images/screens/ff7_1/1-06.jpg

yuffie: that guy is soooo spying on you.
tifa:...
cloud:...
yuffie: what a perv. watching all the cells like that.
cloud:... didnt arsehole send you to spy on us?
tifa: yeah. your really bad at it.
yuffie: *comes out from behind the bed.* oh yeah. damn. well ive come to warn you that barret...
cloud: arsehole.
yuffie: hey! take that back!
cloud: not you. im so used to him being called arsehole on the game that it confuses me when someone calls him that.
yuffie: anyway ive come to tell you that *continues talking about barrets plan.*
narrator (talking over yuffie.): so now that yuffie has told cloud of barrets plan, will barret have any hope of carrying it out? who will win this struggle between evil and lazy?
yuffie:*finishing talking about the plan.* o.k. you got that?
cloud: that guy just talked over the whole thing. i didnt hear any of that.
yuffie: weve really got to sort that guy out.

[Sefie1999AD]

Heh heh. Soon the narrator will have to finish his lines with *gets shot by a sniper* :D

[boys from the dwarf]

interesting idea :evilking:.

[Leen-Leen]

Hmm, I don't think it was as funny as the other ones, but still good enough xP The sniper part is a good idea.

[boys from the dwarf]

as some of you may have noticed ive altered some of the scenes in the game so consider things like that things that really happened or something.

*motorbike scene. what happened in reality.*

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/12-crazy-motorcycle/00009.jpg

tifa: cloud. theres something i forgot to tell you.

cloud: what?

tifa: i cant drive!

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/12-crazy-motorcycle/00024.jpg

cloud: oh. well i never learned to juggle while doing handstands and that never stopped me from doing it...oh...i see your point. youll pick it up as you go along! just continue with the fleeing the city! *starts riding the bike*



im leaving at that for a while because ive got other things to do. if any of you want to add extra lines to that scene and make up stuff for yourself that'd be great. this is open time so im allowing everyone to post there own ideas for the scene. i hope this new idea works.

[Jessweeee♪]

Vincent giggling like a little anorexic pre-teen school girl.

Vincent giggling like a little anorexic pre-teen school girl during an abstinence lecture.

[boys from the dwarf]

as some of you may have noticed ive altered some of the scenes in the game so consider things like that things that really happened or something.

*motorbike scene. what happened in reality.*

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/12-crazy-motorcycle/00009.jpg

tifa: cloud. theres something i forgot to tell you.

cloud: what?

tifa: i cant drive!

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/12-crazy-motorcycle/00024.jpg

cloud: oh. well i never learned to juggle while doing handstands and that never stopped me from doing it...oh...i see your point. youll pick it up as you go along! just continue with the fleeing the city! *starts riding the bike*



if any of you want to add extra lines to that scene and make up stuff for yourself that'd be great. this is open time so im allowing everyone to post there own ideas for the scene. i hope this new idea works.

[Leen-Leen]

eh .. ill have a go at it, but it won't work out so well . xD

*motorbike scene. what happened in reality.*

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots...ycle/00009.jpg

tifa: cloud. theres something i forgot to tell you.

cloud: what?

tifa: i cant drive!

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots...ycle/00024.jpg

cloud: oh. well i never learned to juggle while doing handstands and that never stopped me from doing it...oh...i see your point. youll pick it up as you go along! just continue with the fleeing the city! *starts riding the bike*

tifa: so ...

aeris: So ...

Tifa: Um ...

Aeris: So you ... come here often?

Tifa: What! *backs away from aeris*

[Jessweeee♪]

*motorbike scene. what happened in reality.*

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/12-crazy-motorcycle/00009.jpg

tifa: cloud. theres something i forgot to tell you.

cloud: what?

tifa: i cant drive!

http://www.ffshrine.org/ff7/fmvshots-d1/12-crazy-motorcycle/00024.jpg

cloud: oh. well i never learned to juggle while doing handstands and that never stopped me from doing it...oh...i see your point. youll pick it up as you go along! just continue with the fleeing the city! *starts riding the bike*



*the soldiers are attacking the truck and Cloud is slashing them and accidently cuts off Red XIII's tail*


Red: GAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY TAIL!!! YOU CUT OFF MY TAIL!!
Cloud: er...Sorry!!
Aeris: Don't worry! *grabs some tape and uses it to attatch the tail*
Red:......
Tifa: Watch what you're doing Clod!!
*Cloud starts slashing more soldiers and nearly beheads Barret*
Barret: WHOA!!! GET YOU SPIKEY ASS AWAY FRO--*Cloud accidently removes Barret's other arm*
Cloud: Whoops....


...........................


I tried :P

[boys from the dwarf]

any more? ill have another one soon.

[yunacy]

Red: GAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY TAIL!!! YOU CUT OFF MY TAIL!!
Cloud: er...Sorry!!
Aeris: Don't worry! *grabs some tape and uses it to attatch the tail*
Red:......



:D

[boys from the dwarf]

i dont think i can do this anymore. i can be a sub host or something and do the occasional comedy but i think i need someone to take over.

[Jessweeee♪]

anyone at all?

[Goldenboko]

Well I've been busy and I have one of these myself but until someone takes over anyone can post... oh and if you fans of Dwarf's need some of them to read in the meantime mine are also good (the are the originals after all) http://forums.eyesonff.com/showthread.php?t=90916 Warning don't judge a book by its cover the first sucks but the rest are good...

Here's a short one for ya!

Tifa is on the computer
Cloud: What are you doing?
Tifa: Nothing...
Cloud: No seroiusly what are you doing?
*Peaks over Tifa's shoulder to see her on myspace*
Cloud: OMFG! I can't believe you put those pictures of me in the dress on myspace!
Tifa falls to floor laughing like a luntic!

To be continued...

I hope someone takes over soon it would be a shame if this ended up closed like Al-bhed kid's in the meantime I serouisly suggest Squall and Rinoa playin.

[lovehurts]

When are they gonna screw?

[Goldenboko]

if thats what you want look up on page three of Squall and Rinoa playin episode 17... you'll read something interesting there ;P

(When lovehurts leaves MWUHAHAHA!)

[Edge7]

Wow, I really like this story, but it hasn't really been added to in so long... I'm not capable of keeping up the story, so...

[choco_rider]

please continue on w/ the story, i really REALLY REALLY enjoyed it. i know i cant take over but i reaaaaaaaalllllllllllly hope someone can pick up on this thread:choc2:

[Psychotic]

When a thread dies, there's usually a reason for it. Let's just let this one rest in peace, guys.