Family guy quotes

[Araciel]

i have an idea for a game...family guy quote competition...you have to post a quote from the character next on the list.

peter
stewie
meg
brian

chris
lois
carter (grandpa) pewterschmidt
francis (grandpa) griffin
quagmire
cleveland
cleveland
joe
bonnie
mort goldman
neil goldman
tom tucker
diane simmons
tricia takanawa
jake (upside-down face) tucker
evil monkey
mr weed (peter's former boss)
pasqual and santos (portugese fishermen)
opie (peter's mentally retarded co-worker)
god
jesus
death
mayor adam west


of course i will start

Peter : "A boat's a boat, but the mystery box...That could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how much we've wanted one of those!"

next is stewie..

[I Took the Red Pill]

Stewie: "That was almost as much fun as playing with the speech function on my Macintosh"

Mac: "Stewie-is-cool"

Stewie: "Yayyy"

[Araciel]

meg: i just wanna kill myself. i'm going up to my room to eat a whole bowl of peanuts.

*silence*

meg: i'm allergic to peanuts!

*silence*

meg: you don't know anything about me!

*meg runs upstairs*

peter: who the heck was that guy?

[Griff]

brian: the final plague is the death of the first born son
peter: oh my god, Stewie!
brian: the first born son
peter: oh my god, Meg!
brian: ...your wife
peter: oh my god chris!

[tidus_rox]

Chris: "You guys are stupid!"

[Fuego]

Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells.

or

(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.

[Griff]

Lois: I can be a modern day Hillary Clinton. Only, you know, without the penis.
*edit* damn, too slow
Lois: But Daddy, they said if you didn't pay they would kill me!
Carter: Now honey, you know we don't negotiate with kidnappers *hangs up phone* She'll be fine.

[Fuego]

Lois: I can be a modern day Hillary Clinton. Only, you know, without the penis.
I like your quote better :D

[Araciel]

Carter: there's perter, or as i call him 'my son in lard'

k so he's not that funny

[daggertrepe]

Brain: Peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time!!! :p

[Yuna_wannabe]

Stewie!
"i said egg whites only! MAKE IT AGAIN!
ahh the breakfast thing. its not the eggs really frankly i like the yokes its just...there has always been alot of tension between lois and me and its not that i want to kill her its just i want her...not to be alive..anymore. I wonder if all women are this difficult. then i thinkto myself. My god wouldnt it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?"

I LOVE THIS QUOTE and its sad that i have it memerised

[NINJA_Ryu]

Stewie: You! Cut my eggs!
Butler: Your eggs are cut sir!
Stewie: Now, cut my milk!
Butler: Im sorry sir, but i cannot cut milk...
Stewie: IMBECILE! Freeze the milk, then cut it!

or

Peter: Cmon, cheer up Chris, our family has always been a bit husky. Like your great great grandfather, Jabba the Griffin!

Jabba the Griffin: Ha wa naboo nipple pinche...

[Araciel]

Stewie!
"i said egg whites only! MAKE IT AGAIN!
ahh the breakfast thing. its not the eggs really frankly i like the yokes its just...there has always been alot of tension between lois and me and its not that i want to kill her its just i want her...not to be alive..anymore. I wonder if all women are this difficult. then i thinkto myself. My god wouldnt it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?"

I LOVE THIS QUOTE and its sad that i have it memerised

not to live anymore...its one of the best for sure