Dear Mr. Elbro...

[Decessus]

I just got this in my Email...


Dear Mr. Elbro,

WHAT IF YOUR ASS WAS WRECKED? STOLEN? VANDALIZED?

Could you cover it? Even if it was a lot of money? Let's face it, you need insurance. And why choose anything but the nation's #2 insurer of asses on the planet? Price? Forget that-- we've got a policy that wont wipe your wallet.

We know your ass is important to you. It's always there for you, will you be there for it?

Friend to all asses,
Brickman Importantstien, CEO
He could've had the decency to spell my last name right...

What are the wierdest things you've recieved in your mail?

[Sergeant Hartman]

Can you solve the Kitty Caper mystery?

No sorry i'm afraid i can't. Maybe tomorrow.

[I Took the Red Pill]

I got an e-mail from a 40 something year old man telling me I was a "total hottie". How he found me I have no idea. That was quite disturbing.

[Aurey]

"the ground when she was still alive. The murdered c nted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now t t you ve read the c nt, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the Night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If u comment this to 5 other ppl, she will not bother you."

srsly??? omgf

[Old Manus]

DQoNClVwZGF0ZWQgcGhvdG8gY29sbGVjdGlvbnMNCg0KIGh0dHA6Ly91ay5nZW9jaXRpZXMuY29tL21vbnRlc2FtYXJpbGlzLz9p UDJuN0dvT1A1ND1qc1BTYWxybVNFY3N3ZGF4JnE9dWxOams0TXpndFlXRnliVEV3TlRNek5ERSZhZXI9Yw0KDQogaHR0cDovL3Vr Lmdlb2NpdGllcy5jb20vbW9udGVzYW1hcmlsaXMvP2lQMm43R29PUDU0PWpzUFNhbHJtU0Vjc3dkYXgmcT11bE5qazRNemd0WVdG eWJURXdOVE16TkRFJmFjcj1kJmU9aUZhbWx0ZW05dFltbGxaVUJvYjNSdFlXbHNMbU52YlENCg0KUmVnYXJkcyAsDQpUYXJvDQoN Cg== This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ****** Thursday, September 14 ******** **Adjust font size:Editor's Note: The CNN Wire is a running log of the latest news from CNN WorldHeadquarters, reported by CNN's correspondents and producers, and The CNN Wireeditors. "Posted" times are Eastern Daylight.**** Thai elections slip until November ****BANGKOK (CNN) -- Thai elections will not be held on October 15 as previouslyproposed, election officials said Thursday.No new date for the ballot has been set, but officials said elections willlikely be held in mid to late November. (Posted 5:25 a.m.)**** Muslim bomber guilty of killing 17 in 1993 Mumbai attacks ****NEW DELHI (CNN) -- An Indian court found Mohammed Ghansar guilty of murderThursday for his role in a string of bombings that blasted through thecountry's commercial capital, Mumbai, 13 years ago.The attacks killed 257 people.Ghansar, who could face the death penalty, was convicted of killing 17 peopleby planting a scooter rigged with explosives in a crowded marketplace. He hasbeen held without bail since he was arrested shortly after the March 12, 1993attacks.In the expansive case involving 123 men and women, most of them Muslims, thejudge will release verdicts over a series of weeks. (Posted 5:15 a.m.)**** Car bomb kills 4, wounds 17 in Baghdad ****BAGHDAD (CNN) -- A car bomb targeting a police patrol ripped through east-central Baghdad Thursday morning, killing four people and wounding 17 others,police said.The attack took place at 10:50 a.m. (2:50 a.m.) near the passport office inKarrada. (Posted 4:25 a.m.)**** Poland to send up to 1,000 troops to Afghanistan ****(CNN) -- Poland will send up to an additional 1,000 troops to bolster NATOforces in Afghanistan, Polish Defense Ministry Spokesman Leszek Laszczak saidThursday.According to Laszczak, the soldiers will do a one year tour of duty, startingFebruary 2007. He also said a Polish general will take become a deputycommander of the International Security Assistance Force.Military commanders have called for reinforcements to try to quell the growingTaliban insurgency in southern Afghanistan. (Posted 3:45 a.m.)**** 1 dead, 16 wounded in a car bomb explosion ****BAGHDAD (CNN) -- An Iraqi civilian was killed and at least 16 others woundedwhen a bomb planted in a parked car exploded in the Hurriya neighborhood innorthwestern Baghdad Thursday morning, Baghdad emergency police said.Separately, gunmen shot and killed Col. Muthana Ali Hussein with the Iraqitraffic police Thursday morning as he was leaving his home in the southernBaghdad neighborhood of Doura. (Posted 2:55 a.m.)**** Russian banker dies after shooting ****MOSCOW (CNN) -- The deputy chairman of Russia's Central Bank died Thursdaymorning after being gunned down by two assailants the night before near aMoscow football stadium, a medical source told Russia's state-run Interfax newsagency.Andrei Kozlov was attacked near the capital's Spartak football arena around 9p.m., Interfax reported. His driver was also killed.A medical source told Interfax that Kozlov suffered severe wounds to the head,but was also hit in the chest and stomach.The source said Kozlov arrived at the hospital unconscious and underwentsurgery, but never regained consciousness. (Posted 2 a.m.)**** Two journalists shot and killed in separate attacks ****BAGHDAD (CNN) -- Gunmen shot and killed two Iraqi journalists in separateincidents this week, leading the international media watchdog Committee toProtect Journalists to condemn the killings.Baghdad emergency police officials said they discovered the body of SafaaIsmail Enad in eastern Baghdad riddled with bullets on Wednesday. He was awriter for al-Watan newspaper.The New York-based CPJ said Enad was shot by two gunmen in a photo print shopafter they entered the store and asked for him by name.On Tuesday, another local journalist in Diyala province was ambushed and shotto death by gunmen while he was traveling between Baquba and Khalis, which isabout 50 miles north of Baghdad, a Baquba police official said. (Posted 1:15a.m.)**** Student, gunman dead in Montreal college shooting ****MONTREAL (CNN) -- A rainy afternoon turned deadly Wednesday when a gunmanopened fire at a Montreal college, killing one student and wounding at least 19others before being gunned down by police, authorities said.Six of the wounded were critically hurt, and five more were seriously injured,hospital officials said. All the victims had gunshot wounds to the head, neck,abdomen or limbs.Initial reports indicated that as many four people -- including a second gunman-- may have been killed, but Montreal police chief Yvan Delorme said only asingle gunman was killed.Later, Delorme said that a 20-year-old woman died at the scene from herinjuries.Delorme did not speculate on a motive for the shooting, but said it was not ahate crime or terrorism-related. (Posted 12:40 a.m.)**** Former Texas Gov. Ann Richards dies at 73 ****(CNN) -- Former Texas Gov. Ann Richards, whose brassy, tough-talking personaand trademark white hair cut an indelible profile in Democratic politics, diedWednesday evening at her home in Austin, surrounded by her family, herspokesman, Bill Maddox said.She was 73.Richards, who served as governor of the Lone Star State from 1991 to 1995,announced in March that she was being treated for esophageal cancer.Cecile Richards, her daughter, announced her death in a note sent to friends at7:50 p.m. (8:50 p.m. ET), Maddox said. (Posted 12:40 a.m.)**** Tropical Storm Helene forms; Gordon becomes a major hurricane ****(CNN) -- Tropical Storm Helene formed in the eastern Atlantic Ocean lateWednesday as Gordon became a major hurricane, according to the NationalHurricane Center.Though Helene continues to move west, in the general direction of the Caribbeanand the United States, it remains so far away from land that even long-termforecast models don't yet indicate whether it will pose any threat.At 11 p.m., the center of the storm was about 565 miles west of thesouthernmost Cape Verde Islands, moving west-northwest at nearly 22 mph,according to the National Hurricane Center. Maximum sustained winds were 40mph.Forecasters said the storm system will likely strengthen dramatically over thenext three days, becoming a Category 1 hurricane with sustained winds of 80 mphby Saturday. By Sunday, the hurricane will be Category 2, with winds of nearly100 mph.Meanwhile, Hurricane Gordon, which is churning in the Atlantic well away fromland, strengthened Wednesday, with maximum sustained winds reaching 120 mph.Passing the 115 mph threshold makes it the first major hurricane of the 2006season, indicating an intensity of Category 3 or higher. (Posted 11:20 p.m.)

It would help if they actually had links to the porn they are flogging in there somewhere.

[Faris]

Time to get ass insurance.

The weirdest thing was probably something about a penis enlargement. I'm a lady dammit!

[Sylvie]

Hi

g V v I k A d G z R d A
e V a A z L o I m U j M
f C q I u A y L p I j S
c A s M d B t I f E c N
e X f A c N g A v X

Unscramble the words to get several weird medicines!

Including VIAGRA!

[kikimm]

I've never gotten any weird mail. Just the typical apply here for credit card coolies! stuff. And that's why I never check my email anymore.

[Psychotic]

Rihards Piazza had this to say:
Hi

QUIT O d VERPA v YI v NG FOR Y d OUR PH y AR o MAC t Y

S o AV c E up c to 5 v 0 % wi v th (this is where Rihards had given me a link.)Oh that Rihards, what will he/she/it do next?

[Sylvie]

Rihards Piazza had this to say:
Hi

QUIT O d VERPA v YI v NG FOR Y d OUR PH y AR o MAC t Y

S o AV c E up c to 5 v 0 % wi v th (this is where Rihards had given me a link.)Oh that Rihards, what will he/she/it do next?

XD You get that same spam too huh?

[Jowy]

I get e-mails at work telling me how to start my own internet pharmacy or how to please my woman. And the occasional Nigerian prince scam.

[Meat Puppet]

I bet my email inbox is crawling with all kinds of spam—from getting rich quick to \/iagrax—because people seem to think signing my email address up for spam is going to make me mad. It doesn't. As a matter of fact, the attention of robots is exactly the kind of attention I crave.

[Levian]

I never get spam e-mails. :( I kinda wish I did sometimes. Except for Avril Lavigne newsletters, Kyono. Thanks for signing me up for that btw.

But I did get this into my Junk E-mail:

"Dear Levian, (oh my god they know my name)

Your private messages box on Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums has reached 90% of
your allowed quota. To ensure that you do not reach 100% of your allowed
messages, you should consider archiving or deleting some of your messages.
Please visit this page to do so:
http://forums.eyesonff.com/private.php

All the best,
Eyes on Final Fantasy Forums"

Pretty nasty those spam e-mails. With scary links and unbelievable offers like 90%.

[Polaris]

Just some spam about Viagra when I saw them.... (yes it was more than 1 looool, I don't need even one, neither 10! :bigsmile: ) i just thought 'Oh God no one is thaaaaaaaaaaat bad for need more than once Viagra at my age)

[Fonzie]

"Buy volcano insurance"!!! Sounded smart at the time...until i realized i live in Texas T_T.

[Sylvie]

"Buy volcano insurance"!!! Sounded smart at the time...until i realized i live in Texas T_T.

You totally stole that from Family Guy.

[DarkLadyNyara]

The weirdest thing was probably something about a penis enlargement. I'm a lady dammit!
Oh, man, tell me about it. "DarkLadyNyara, Enlarge your penis with [insert product here]!"
Does the "Lady" tell them nothing?

Then there are the "Meet Christian Singles In Your Area!" ones. :rolleyes2 Like I'd ever trust a dating service that would accept me.