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View Full Version : DK(Kyono): A Biography of Sorts



Fonzie
09-26-2006, 02:39 AM
Ok, if I were too write a biography about the man himself. What words would you put in for him?


P.S. DK can't write stuff about himself :p

Decessus
09-26-2006, 02:42 AM
Creepy.

escobert
09-26-2006, 02:45 AM
He was born, man was saved.

I Took the Red Pill
09-26-2006, 02:45 AM
Word Scramble MASTER.

Rye
09-26-2006, 02:51 AM
Dan is crazy and funny and is my closest Hardu Gay mate. His jokes are often mean and vulgar... but we all love him for it. He likes lots of Jap Rap. :bigsmile:

Fonzie
09-26-2006, 02:53 AM
On the seventh day God created Dan. He had too rest for 2 weeks.

escobert
09-26-2006, 02:55 AM
Dans mom is a saint and his father is the pope!

Bunny
09-26-2006, 02:59 AM
The pinnacle of human achievement.

Psychotic
09-26-2006, 03:08 AM
Once upon a time, two young vagabonds named Loki and Joaquin joined a forum. The two of them sailed the high seas together, and had many daring adventures, where they fought off brigands and privateers while saving plain-looking girls with bad teeth, investigating impostors such as "miki fake piki", and hunting for giant white whales. This was all very well and good, until one day a huge storm struck their boat, and they were swept overboard. The two of them were not to be seen at EoFF again for some time.

Eventually, young Loki washed up on the island of Bermuda, where he met a man named Shaun Goater. Goater taught Loki all about the holy teachings of Maineroad. Loki was totally devoted to his master, and took on the identity "Paulo Wanchope", and the pair of them rose up to fight a civil war against the evil Alecks Fergiesun, ruler of Bermuda. Both factions amassed huge armies of followers. Wanchope and Goater's battalion were known as Manchester City, and were known for their light blue uniforms, whereas Fergiesun and his general, Bekkham, called their army Manchester United, and their army was famous for its red tunics. A fierce battle for the island of Bermuda ensued, and although City were able to grab a foothold in the capital city, The Premiership, they were not able to totally defeat Manchester United. Bekkham had turned traitor to try to help Wanchope and Goater, but Fergiesun discovered the ploy, and hurled a boot at Bekkham, mortally wounding him. Bekkham's wife, Vichorseia, managed to drag Bekkham's body away from Bermuda, and the two left for Madrid to start a new life. And so United won the war, and Wanchope, distraught at his failure, left Bermuda, and sailed away to find a new home.

Wanchope found himself on an island called Final Fantasy Infinate, and he adopted a new name, Rosie, to try to blend in with the locals. The ruler of this island was a strange Dutch man, named Laurens, who looked oddly like Tim Henman. He gave Rosie shelter in his Industrial Trainstation, where he hoped to refind himself after the crushing defeat on Bermuda. Rosie struck up a friendship with a native of the island, called Levian. Levian had also lived on EoFF, Rosie's former home, and the two eventually resolved to go back there. Their timing could not be more perfect, as the island suffered a volcanic erruption, and was destroyed forever.

Deciding that he could not bring himself to be known as Loki again, as it reminded him of his lost comrade, Joaquin, he took on the name Kyono, and once more lived in Eyes on FF. He settled in quickly, and became reknowned as a man with not only big muscles, but a big heart too. However, he was not complete. He missed Joaquin. And so he decided to set out on a journey to find him. However, he did not have enough money, and so captured local teenage girls Spiffing Cheese, Rye and Resha and forced them to act as prostitutes, with Kyono acting as their pimp. Kyono had heard a rumour that Joaquin was in Japan, and using the money he had made from pimping out the local womenfolk, he headed for the land of the rising sun.

Not much is known about Kyono's time in Japan, but it is believed he found a new master, known only as "Razor Ramon Hard Gay", and learned the ancient ways of humping. Kyono returned to EoFF six months later, dressed in tight leather, and with a new name, DK. He terrified the local population, who lived in fear of his battlecry, "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" which would signify another raid on the poor people of EoFF was about to take place.

These days, DK is a bit less boisterous, although every now and then a yell of "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" is sometimes heard echoing throughout the forums. DK looks back on his tragedy-steeped past from time to time, and reflects sadly that he still hasn't found his old friend, Joaquin. His search continues... (I am totally adding this to the wiki)

HAY DID YOU KNOW THREADS ABOUT MEMBERS AINT ALLOWED? :D

rubah
09-26-2006, 03:14 AM
He is a fiend in the tot.

Loony BoB
09-26-2006, 02:25 PM
Wouldn't know a good username if it hit him in the face.