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View Full Version : The Gaping Maw Of Oblivion!



Madame Adequate
10-29-2006, 11:53 PM
Once more! I refer you to my exploits with the apple! The digital tableau was my justification, and remains so. The courts find no evidence of crime, and I am exonerated. Now I compel, impel, propel, and, yes, even dragoon you, assorted and transnational forumgoers, to consider your own devouring capacities.

I have many questions to ask! But only some are right for this thread. And some are not right for any mortal Human to think upon, for such things will crush their tiny minds into the very oblivion which forms my stomach! Therefore I go now to my business of asking you acceptable and palatable and comprehensible and not repugnant questions.

What is the largest thing you have ever swallowed whole? I think my own example would be my son, Caractacus. You see, I commanded him to execute his treasonous brother for treason, but he refused. TREACHERY! INFAMY! COMPLICITY! I devoured him whole. My seething acids obviated his existence! Now he is :moomba:.

What is the largest thing you have ever fit into your mouth? I think my own example would be a small volcanic archipelago, once found in the mid-Atlantic. However the Atlanteans displeased me with their wooden robots and submersible pie charts, and this I unhinged my jaw (In the manner of Fenrir!) and slid my lips and teeth and gums around their citadels and farmsteads. With a mighty CRUNCH!!!1 I tore their islands from their moorings and then with a CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP I ended their miserable civilization.

If you could expand your gourmand experiencing capacities to any degree, how large a thing would you wish to eat? I think my own example would be the capacity to swallow entire superclusters of galaxies whole. I would sample the various and vagarious delights of a hundred trillion stars and moons and planets and other such astronomical bric-a-brac. Yet, I must question. If my stomach were so large, my jaw were so vast, there are two questions! If my stomach were so large, my jaw were so vast, I must ask, would it make a difference, to swallow these things whole? Would they not simply continue to be the same, inside my very ample gut? Would it not be just as being in a smaller, darker universe with definable edges and a constant risk of being expelled through gastronomical distress? And if my stomach were so large, my jaw were so vast, I must ask, would not my accompanying chin lay waste to all the universes that Peter Molyneux, in his infinite grace and wisdom, has created?

Rye
10-30-2006, 12:01 AM
This was beautiful beyond all digital mark up errors. :bigsmile: I'm still upset at you for biting into the apple skull though, it had young saplings nestled inside of it. As you sank your canines into it, the apple juices pouring down the edges, they cried out wishing they could have lived long enough to have their first asexual reproduction. :(

I don't know what the biggest thing I've swallowed is, which is indeed the topic. Probably a lot of jello and marshmellows (and a space shuttle or two), but my jaws are not up to par with Quina. What should I do, do I disgrace my family? Will the Gelatenous Gigolo come down upon my face with a huxing splatter? Will they QUARREL?

Madame Adequate
10-30-2006, 12:02 AM
The baby apples died for the Greater Good.

And yes, you bring shame upon your family. Flagellate yourself with licorice!

Jowy
10-30-2006, 12:07 AM
Jello shots are big and intimidating.

Madame Adequate
10-30-2006, 12:14 AM
What, like... a needle? Full of jello? That sounds delightfully har'core!

Iceglow
10-30-2006, 12:53 AM
Biggest thing I have swallowed, hmm I could see this thread getting rather side tracked. *Wrenches dirty mind back from oblivion* Ok well biggest thing I have swallowed, without chewing? Possibly a Jaffa Cake I managed to break it in half with my tongue and swallow the remains, not technically chewing but not technically swallowing WHOLE. A Fruit Pastille or a Marshmallow probably fits the bill.

Rainecloud
10-30-2006, 07:03 AM
A very large tablet that I got on prescription.

Not very adventurous, I know. :p

Resha
10-30-2006, 07:09 AM
G..gob...gobstoppers, maybe? I dunno. I can fit a Pringle into my mouth though. =D

Quindiana Jones
10-30-2006, 10:08 AM
I wanted to stop my friend eating all my sweets, so I downed the packet. But I had underestimated the amount left, and it took me about 20 minutes until I could breathe properly :bigsmile:. DAMN YOU JELLY TOTS!

bipper
10-30-2006, 02:45 PM
tl;dr apple uses a BSD base, which saves it in my eyes. :jess:

Cz
10-30-2006, 06:56 PM
My pride. :(

Captain Maxx Power
10-30-2006, 07:31 PM
I once ate a duck whole. Being very undercooked (it was still alive), it wasn't all that nice.