Peegee
11-04-2006, 08:13 PM
This might belong more in EoEo than GC but I'm not sure who's banned from EoEo -- and it doesn't do any harm to have some serious discussions here once in a while.
It's also quite long. Skip the italics if you want.
I'll start with some background. My life is a busy mess of work, sleep, eating and squeezing in exercise as much as possible. When I'm not living my life of employment, I play this blasted little game called World of Warcraft. And I have become quite good at it, to the point where my guild's (a group of players with a common cause) progress is almost tied in with my performance and attendance.
Basically to those who knows the lingo, I am the main tank. And a damn good one. I have made lots of friends, and have lots of fun...until the past month or so.
One of my friends, and we will call her Linda because I don't know any Lindas and nobody on the forum who is my close friend is Linda, started to find that the guild in general have started to lash out at her for her silly ways. Now, I too am very silly in the game, to the point where it compromises professional playstyles. And nobody seems to mind my nonsense. Yet with 'Linda', the reaction and treatment of her became so hurtful to the point where she had to explicitly state (with expletives for emphasis) to stop annoying her. This would tend to work. What also tended to work was when I caught this happening I would bluntly tell people to stop, and it works...
For a day.
Then it happens again, and again, to the point where she no longer has fun, and this past Wednesday left the guild. Another member of the guild who is our mutual friend left immediately, out of support, or whatever.
You would think the officers of the guild, who are high ranking equivalents of managers in real life, would have done something to stop this earlier. Tell people to shape up and get along -- we're a team. That sort of thing. Instead, I hear my officer say: "Anybody else want to leave, leave now. You will not be invited back".
I'm not sure what to make of that, but I finished the game off that night while sending text messages to Linda, and went to bed wondering why this game became so important that people are replaceable, and are only used to better our in-game armor to do more difficult in-game dungeons.
Oh it gets better. The NEXT day (and the point of this thread, sorry for the long prologue), I find out that my grandmother had FOUR small stroke attacks during that week. My mother is currently out of town for who knows how long to spend time with her (grandmother), and so I am left at home with the equivalent of parental/chaffeur duties.
I cannot 'main tank' in this condition. After thinking about it for two nights, I quit my guild for a few reasons:
- I can't play competently with thoughts of mortality active in my life
- the guild has treated a friend of mine poorly, and seems to not think a great deal out of it
- the officers either did nothing, or geniunely had no idea that this is happening
Even just two months ago I would have no idea this would happen, both with my grandmother and the sudden collapse of the guild. I am turning twenty seven in TWENTY days from now, and I have yet to be consciously made aware of the consequences of death. I think about it, but it's never hit me in the face like this.
My friend 'Linda' told me of her unhappiness for weeks before she quit, so that was not a surprise. However it was like watching a car crash in slow motion: I knew she was going to quit, but when? The same thing is happening almost immediately with my grandmother. Realising she is in her 80's and thus not very likely to live for many years, I can only watch helplessly as my sheltered excuse for a life forces me to grow up.
Oh yes, I am quite immature.
Anyway, I suppose the point of the thread is to let off some thoughts, keep you guys up to date on the happenings of pg (sorry it has to be like this), and basically to say that I have been a member here for quite some time (what is it, like six years in a few months?), and the reason I'm still here is that I have made many good friends and love you all.
I have no idea what to think about death. I feel my thoughts on the topic are foolish and childish (either I freak out over it or I see people healing from it quickly, and I have no choice but to wonder why). Any advice is welcomed.
It's also quite long. Skip the italics if you want.
I'll start with some background. My life is a busy mess of work, sleep, eating and squeezing in exercise as much as possible. When I'm not living my life of employment, I play this blasted little game called World of Warcraft. And I have become quite good at it, to the point where my guild's (a group of players with a common cause) progress is almost tied in with my performance and attendance.
Basically to those who knows the lingo, I am the main tank. And a damn good one. I have made lots of friends, and have lots of fun...until the past month or so.
One of my friends, and we will call her Linda because I don't know any Lindas and nobody on the forum who is my close friend is Linda, started to find that the guild in general have started to lash out at her for her silly ways. Now, I too am very silly in the game, to the point where it compromises professional playstyles. And nobody seems to mind my nonsense. Yet with 'Linda', the reaction and treatment of her became so hurtful to the point where she had to explicitly state (with expletives for emphasis) to stop annoying her. This would tend to work. What also tended to work was when I caught this happening I would bluntly tell people to stop, and it works...
For a day.
Then it happens again, and again, to the point where she no longer has fun, and this past Wednesday left the guild. Another member of the guild who is our mutual friend left immediately, out of support, or whatever.
You would think the officers of the guild, who are high ranking equivalents of managers in real life, would have done something to stop this earlier. Tell people to shape up and get along -- we're a team. That sort of thing. Instead, I hear my officer say: "Anybody else want to leave, leave now. You will not be invited back".
I'm not sure what to make of that, but I finished the game off that night while sending text messages to Linda, and went to bed wondering why this game became so important that people are replaceable, and are only used to better our in-game armor to do more difficult in-game dungeons.
Oh it gets better. The NEXT day (and the point of this thread, sorry for the long prologue), I find out that my grandmother had FOUR small stroke attacks during that week. My mother is currently out of town for who knows how long to spend time with her (grandmother), and so I am left at home with the equivalent of parental/chaffeur duties.
I cannot 'main tank' in this condition. After thinking about it for two nights, I quit my guild for a few reasons:
- I can't play competently with thoughts of mortality active in my life
- the guild has treated a friend of mine poorly, and seems to not think a great deal out of it
- the officers either did nothing, or geniunely had no idea that this is happening
Even just two months ago I would have no idea this would happen, both with my grandmother and the sudden collapse of the guild. I am turning twenty seven in TWENTY days from now, and I have yet to be consciously made aware of the consequences of death. I think about it, but it's never hit me in the face like this.
My friend 'Linda' told me of her unhappiness for weeks before she quit, so that was not a surprise. However it was like watching a car crash in slow motion: I knew she was going to quit, but when? The same thing is happening almost immediately with my grandmother. Realising she is in her 80's and thus not very likely to live for many years, I can only watch helplessly as my sheltered excuse for a life forces me to grow up.
Oh yes, I am quite immature.
Anyway, I suppose the point of the thread is to let off some thoughts, keep you guys up to date on the happenings of pg (sorry it has to be like this), and basically to say that I have been a member here for quite some time (what is it, like six years in a few months?), and the reason I'm still here is that I have made many good friends and love you all.
I have no idea what to think about death. I feel my thoughts on the topic are foolish and childish (either I freak out over it or I see people healing from it quickly, and I have no choice but to wonder why). Any advice is welcomed.