It's like watching a car crash in slow motion

[Peegee]

This might belong more in EoEo than GC but I'm not sure who's banned from EoEo -- and it doesn't do any harm to have some serious discussions here once in a while.

It's also quite long. Skip the italics if you want.

I'll start with some background. My life is a busy mess of work, sleep, eating and squeezing in exercise as much as possible. When I'm not living my life of employment, I play this blasted little game called World of Warcraft. And I have become quite good at it, to the point where my guild's (a group of players with a common cause) progress is almost tied in with my performance and attendance.

Basically to those who knows the lingo, I am the main tank. And a damn good one. I have made lots of friends, and have lots of fun...until the past month or so.

One of my friends, and we will call her Linda because I don't know any Lindas and nobody on the forum who is my close friend is Linda, started to find that the guild in general have started to lash out at her for her silly ways. Now, I too am very silly in the game, to the point where it compromises professional playstyles. And nobody seems to mind my nonsense. Yet with 'Linda', the reaction and treatment of her became so hurtful to the point where she had to explicitly state (with expletives for emphasis) to stop annoying her. This would tend to work. What also tended to work was when I caught this happening I would bluntly tell people to stop, and it works...

For a day.

Then it happens again, and again, to the point where she no longer has fun, and this past Wednesday left the guild. Another member of the guild who is our mutual friend left immediately, out of support, or whatever.

You would think the officers of the guild, who are high ranking equivalents of managers in real life, would have done something to stop this earlier. Tell people to shape up and get along -- we're a team. That sort of thing. Instead, I hear my officer say: "Anybody else want to leave, leave now. You will not be invited back".

I'm not sure what to make of that, but I finished the game off that night while sending text messages to Linda, and went to bed wondering why this game became so important that people are replaceable, and are only used to better our in-game armor to do more difficult in-game dungeons.

Oh it gets better. The NEXT day (and the point of this thread, sorry for the long prologue), I find out that my grandmother had FOUR small stroke attacks during that week. My mother is currently out of town for who knows how long to spend time with her (grandmother), and so I am left at home with the equivalent of parental/chaffeur duties.

I cannot 'main tank' in this condition. After thinking about it for two nights, I quit my guild for a few reasons:

- I can't play competently with thoughts of mortality active in my life
- the guild has treated a friend of mine poorly, and seems to not think a great deal out of it
- the officers either did nothing, or geniunely had no idea that this is happening

Even just two months ago I would have no idea this would happen, both with my grandmother and the sudden collapse of the guild. I am turning twenty seven in TWENTY days from now, and I have yet to be consciously made aware of the consequences of death. I think about it, but it's never hit me in the face like this.

My friend 'Linda' told me of her unhappiness for weeks before she quit, so that was not a surprise. However it was like watching a car crash in slow motion: I knew she was going to quit, but when? The same thing is happening almost immediately with my grandmother. Realising she is in her 80's and thus not very likely to live for many years, I can only watch helplessly as my sheltered excuse for a life forces me to grow up.

Oh yes, I am quite immature.

Anyway, I suppose the point of the thread is to let off some thoughts, keep you guys up to date on the happenings of pg (sorry it has to be like this), and basically to say that I have been a member here for quite some time (what is it, like six years in a few months?), and the reason I'm still here is that I have made many good friends and love you all.

I have no idea what to think about death. I feel my thoughts on the topic are foolish and childish (either I freak out over it or I see people healing from it quickly, and I have no choice but to wonder why). Any advice is welcomed.

[The Devil Man]

Devil Man doesn't wanna be mean, but can you sum up that story in one sentence please? :(

Devil Man has tried reading through that 3 times and has got lost every single time.

If you could sum it up very quickly, he might be able to help his friend PG :)

[Rye]

]We love you too, PG~ <3

I'm sorry for all of this happening in your life lately. ;_;

[fire_of_avalon]

I think one person in a million handle death with any kind of poise. I myself am pretty stoic when someone close to me dies, but I completely freak out and lose that face later on. I suppose I'm the type that gets hit with the shock first, and then starts to feel what's going on later.

I think death makes a child of everyone, really. You're just as entitled to your thoughts and reactions as anyone else. I don't believe there's a "good" way to handle the idea, you just have to accept that it's there, and accept that the idea of it is going to mess you up.

And my boyfriend has dealt with similar people in WoW. Guild drama is pretty silly to me, but I can see why some people take it to heart; this is something they've put their time into, and to be shunned seems to make that effort obselete. Pretty scary idea.

In any case, I hope you get your head where it needs to be, sugar. I can't really offer any worthwhile advice, but I can talk a lot and make good points sometimes. :)

[Reine]

Sorry to hear this dude.

[Shlup]

Use your rockin' azn powers to save the day.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/ShlupQuack/shlupwed_17.jpg

[Rainecloud]

I know what you mean. I'm nearly 23, and one set of my Grandparents are in their late 80's. The other set are in their early 70's, and are not in good health at all. My Grandfather suffered a stroke earlier this year, and although he has recovered well, hasn't been the same since. Now, we all know that once someone suffers a stroke (or multiple strokes), they don't tend to live very long afterwards. I'm not trying to be morbid, but I guess that's just life.

I don't want to have to come to terms with the fact that my Grandfather will probably die very soon, as he isn't in good health at all. I also don't want to have to come to terms with the fact that my other Grandma suffers from dementia, and is slowly forgetting everything she ever knew. It's harrowing to see, but there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Instead of constantly worrying about what's going to happen, I try to focus on spending time with them and making them happy. They love it when we visit with the kids, and they love simple things like telephone calls from us. I know they'll die soon, but I don't think about it; taking care of them and giving them pleasure is what matters the most.

That's how I deal with things, anyhow. =/

[Iceglow]

All my Grand parents are dead. I was'nt even thought off when my mom's mom died infact my mother was a small child herself. My father died when I was only 3 so I never really knew my Dad's parents but it is my understanding that they moved back to Poland. My mom's dad died when I was in high school he had senile dementure and several other problems. Due to Gangreene he lost a leg and eventually he died it wasn't such a sad thing then, of course we all were sad for my mom and her siblings but it was a release. He suffered from severe illnesses to which there was no cure, he was so far gone in the senile dementure he used to think I was his step son Archie who was in his late 50's or so. Then a few years later a close family friend who me and my sister used to call Nan, because she always looked after us for my mom and was really cool. She found time to help at the North London Hospice and back in WW2 she served on a hospital ship as a nurse/doctor always knew how to treat the screw ups I got in to, such as the burns I got once from a really hot light bulb or the broken fingers and nose. She also paid for us to do so much, like Ice-skating lessons for 7 years ect. died of a stroke. I miss her in a way. In others I don't miss her as much as my sister does but then she had always made it public that my sister was her favourite of the two of us. Still not something you wanna see happen.

As for the first part of your post PG, games are like that. I used to work on a game that is actually very similar to WoW but in actual fact is a lot older than WoW. It's still in Beta and hasn't got a 3d interface but heck it was great fun, totally free RP so you designed the characters and every character you met was one that belonged to another player. Anyhow, there was always a few idiots who tried to make things difficult for the staff on the game. According to these individuals all the staff cheated on the game, we were all apparently (because I sure as hell wasn't) increasing our stats on the DB to make us invincible to everyone else. In actual fact our chars tended to be more powerful because when sitting there waiting for bugs or other problems to come up we sat there playing and doing nothing much else. These same individuals have caused many former staff members to quit and several other players. One targetted our own Twisted Tinkerbell for many months even though I would tell him off and make requests to my superiors for his banning from servers he got away with things that frankly by the majority of the community were considered racist, fascist, homophobic and damn right rude to the point that immediately after I sent a PM warning him of further action he replied "I don't have to listen to you because you are only a moderator and cannot ban me".

I guess the thing with those sort of games is that you have to find a guild that is more to your liking where everyone is accepted and liked or just simply create your own for you and your friends and invite the players you want in to it.