I need some help and opions...

[Ben]

Well I have a gf, and I've been with her for about a year. And I don't really talk to her much, except with e-mail. And its because shes really shy and doesn't really like to talk much, like the "The quiet girl" and my friends have been really pushing me to talk to her. I just was wanting some tips maybe or just someones oppion.

[Moon Rabbits]

Wait. You have a girlfriend but you don't speak to her? Wierd. Maybe you should go out with someone you actually talk to.

[McLovin']

Wow I was in almost the exact situation awhile ago. I had a girlfriend but I had to move but we stayed in touch via email and every vacation time I would visit my town and her.

You could ask her to get a messenger program and chat/talk to each other on there.

And then there is always webcams and mic's.

[tidus_rox]

MMM... maybe you should try and talk to her. Like not alot at first but then gradualy get more and more talkitive with her.

If she is shy than talk with her alone...

[blackmage_nuke]

Think of something she likes and pretend you like it too

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[VengefulRonin]

Think of something she likes and pretend you like it too

-

I really hope that was a joke. Dont EVER do that, you dont wanna found your relationship on incencerity (the hell do i spell that?).

Anyway, what you need to work on is getting her to feel comfortable around you. Make sure that she knows your a trustworthy companion, let her know you want to listen to her and get to know her better. Let her know that if she ever has any problems and needs someone to talk to, that you're happy to listen and help. Once she feels at ease around you and trusts that you're sincere, she should begin to open up.

And i like what Magus of Zeal said. Its hard for me to start relationships (including basic friendship) in person, i'm uber shy and cant ever think of what to say, so have her get AIM or whatever, just talk casually over that, build things up gradually. DONT let your friends pressure you. I guarantee you that if you try to rush this, you'll only hurt things.

[Xander]

Yeah try and talk on msn. It can be real fun ^_~ And then maybe if she comes out of herself on there she will then find it easier to do so in real life. And hey sometimes talking isn't the most important thing if you two can be happy together in silence, then that's fine too. But yeah if you want to talk more, try and talk to her but ask her stuff about herself and the stuff she's into too. I find, and personally it's a lot easier to talk about stuff you're into and then even quiet people can't shut up about some things. xD

[Iceglow]

probably should've been posted in eoeo, but what the hell. I guess I have never had this kind of situation, going out with someone and not talking to them? Seriously sounds screwy imho but heck I'm one guy and as I have proven before in my actions and my relationships, what the hell do I know about women? Try talking to her, talking is like one of the most important things in relationships even if she is shy she should feel comfortable with you if only you.

[Ben]

I wanted some help not people who make me feel bad...

[Moon Rabbits]

Think of something she likes and pretend you like it too

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Best advice ever~


I wanted some help not people who make me feel bad...

You were the one who posted this in GC over EoEO.

[Madame Adequate]

Both of you gets like AIM or Trillian or something, and talk on there.

[Renmiri]

Filter out the teasing and you get the advice: Ask her to get MSN and ssend her a webcam ($15 at Wallmart) as a gift :D

[Xander]

Ben, I'm sure noone is trying to make you feel bad. It's fine that you posted the thread here but a general tip is people will be more serious and sympathetic in Eyes on Each Other, whilst in general chat, you kinda have to expect any response people feel like.

I think the main thing people are saying is it's quite important to talk but I'm sure you two are both young and just getting used to this stuff. Don't worry so much - but if you're not happy then try the things suggested...

Or maybe just give her a hug. Talking is overrated.

[Kamiko]

One time, I was dating someone and I didn't know it until she broke up with me.
You should check and make sure you both know that you're dating.

[escobert]

LOLz
you don't talk?
must be fun xD

[Kris_A]

Talking is overrated.
Text is much better! You can do smilies :D

[VengefulRonin]

Both of you gets like AIM or Trillian or something, and talk on there.

Trillian! ^_^ But you'll still need AIM or MSN or whatever accounts, butcha shouldnt have to download the programs. And its nice to be able to keep all the conversations in one window.


Ben, I'm sure noone is trying to make you feel bad. It's fine that you posted the thread here but a general tip is people will be more serious and sympathetic in Eyes on Each Other, whilst in general chat, you kinda have to expect any response people feel like.

I think the main thing people are saying is it's quite important to talk but I'm sure you two are both young and just getting used to this stuff. Don't worry so much - but if you're not happy then try the things suggested...

Or maybe just give her a hug. Talking is overrated.

Yeah, EoEO people go in there more seriously and helpful, but hey, notice people that this thread hasnt been moved. So i'm figuring that its probably okay.

And yep, hugs would be good. ^_^ A lot of times you can convey more emotion through a hug than through words...words are so...limiting. Like say you fall in love with her and you wanna say "i love you" but you want a stronger word than love. Good luck finding that word <.<

Ignore Moon Rabbits' post...any sort of pretending in this relationship (doesnt sound to me like its particularly strong at this point) will hurt it. Talk about stuffs you're both interested in...hell, let her talk about only stuff she's interested in but listen anyway. Trust me, if you listen to a girl ramble on about nothing or rant about some problem in her life, she will be very appreciative that you actually stuck by her and listened to her.

[Renmiri]

Well pretending - not lying, just showing some interest and saying a few "cool!" - might help him learn more about her and perhaps truly like the stuff later. Maybe he just never paid attention before....

[~*~Celes~*~]

And yep, hugs would be good. ^_^ A lot of times you can convey more emotion through a hug than through words...words are so...limiting. Like say you fall in love with her and you wanna say "i love you" but you want a stronger word than love. Good luck finding that word <.<

Ignore Moon Rabbits' post...any sort of pretending in this relationship (doesnt sound to me like its particularly strong at this point) will hurt it. Talk about stuffs you're both interested in...hell, let her talk about only stuff she's interested in but listen anyway. Trust me, if you listen to a girl ramble on about nothing or rant about some problem in her life, she will be very appreciative that you actually stuck by her and listened to her.

VERY true :) If she's had a horrible day and she singles you out to talk about it with, that should tell you that she holds you in a higher standard than everyone else, so listen carefully and if you can't give her advice, give her hugs. Having someone listen and be there for you is one of the best feelings you can have...to be cared about.

[No.78]

I'd give you an opion but I dunno what it is.

[rubah]

If you're fine with not talking much and so is she, why care?

You're the one that's dating her, not your friends.

[Breine]

Think of something she likes and pretend you like it too

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XD

[Ben]

Sorry about not putting this is eoeo. Thanks for your help guys.

[nik0tine]

There is something very wrong with someone when they are too shy to communicate through email.

I suggest you get a new girlfriend, personally.

[final fantasy is stinky]

Hmmmm.... After giving this some thought.... I suggest.... This is hard but..... dump her.... yes I said it.... well now that my work here is done... I'll be off.... buh bye now:love: ..... well actually maybe I'm just saying this cuz I'm such a talkitive little girl.... and I just say whats on my mind and what I think.... Which at times isn't much....:p

[Alive-Cat]

I think you should hunt her down and find her and then talk to her.
EDIT: And I seem to be talking about onions more and more these days. Why on earth would you want onions?

[Renmiri]

Dont dump her over shyness. The better treasures take some digging ;)