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Okay I made it a resolution to become more active on this forum. I frequently have creative episodes and random thoughts, it's really cool. Problem is I don't write them down so sometimes I forget them and it's kinda hard to write when you're in the shower.

To be continued.. . . . . . . . . .

I don't hold things in my head, I don't stew on problems either. I just have weird recall, especially for auditory information.

Thank You.
JJ

The battle in my head is done.


I won.


JJ

Je pense ce que j'ai perdu mon meilleure ami

I am really sad now.

JJ

So I went to my local bar, and these two guys walk in. I pack up my cue and let them play doubles with two of my friends. I then put my cue back in the corner of the bar and go have a drink at the bar.

The whole time I thought that "maybe you should move your things.". But I said nah man I must be paranoid. To no surprise the losers stole my jacket, and whatever I had lying around in it.

Moral of the story: Stop trusting other people/Be more careful of yourself ...

Well today, my mom's friend told me what I'm doing for the people who aren't doing what I am with what I have. She told me never to let people bring you down or get into your head. She reminded me that even with my deficits, I am succeeding.

I am showing people that even with trout thats thrown at me, even the trout I throw at myself, I push on. I know I am stubborn, persistant, aggressive and i over think everything.

But that's me. That's how I succeed. That's how I set ...

t's not that I'm dumb, or I don't learn. It's the fact I believe the world is against me. Because the world took so much from me, because I know so much evil. People have done me so much wrong, that I'm blind to those who do me right. Problem is I keep feeding the part of me that believes this lie. I don't acknowledge the part that knows the truth. I fail over and over again. No more, when I said I should write a book I wasn't lying.
"You have to lose everything. To gain something" ...

This past month I've been up and down. Almost enough to diagnose me with "bi-polar II disorder"

I really can't stop thinking of how great I feel. It can be attributed to the end of the semester though.

I can say that along my search for myself, or whatever it was I was trying to achieve; I found something more. I found myself not standing still, but already running down another road.

But I don't know where it's taking me. I just know this feels ...

Hello.
I love this part of my depressive episodes. The moment you realize your problem, then you fix it and now this.

It's like I just got the strength to stand on my own again.

That final step out of that wheelchair for good.

Man, let's take on the world. I am winning.

JJ

People admire me for what I do, say and have accomplished. What they don't know is that just because I have the ability and want to help others is that I'm not perfect. I'm not happy, and with all my friends, still I believe no one likes me.

No matter how much I try and fill this gap with friends, it's always "not satiated".

I can function and seem to be perfectly fine. No one would know the immense pain that infects my blood. Silently it decimates any single ...