Pumpkin

I am going to try and sit down and do thirty minutes to an hour of writing everyday. Even if I'm staring at the screen with writer's block. I am going to try and get a book out eventually and no one will read it, but that's okay! I have been writing this story in my head since I was a little girl and darn it if I'm not going to write it eventually!

Also going to try to go for more walks and draw something everyday.

My son is basically the same age my brother was when he died. I've been having bad dreams about something bad happening lately and it is scaring me a little bit. Or a lot. More than it should.

I don't really know what else to say. I miss him and I'm scared something will happen to him and I'll never see him again or see him grow up and I feel so stuck. I can't seem to get my life straight so that I can take care of him properly. I feel like an awful person.

My mom tells ...