Pumpkin

Tired of not having any friends and being cooped up in the house, I have started the get out there project. This week it will run from Monday to Friday. Here is what I have planned:

Monday: 12 am to 1 pm, weight lifting class at the gym. / Meetup group at 7 pm at an Italian restaurant. going to try to meet some new people.

Tuesday: Go to my previous area of employment and ask a nice former coworker if he wants to hang out sometime. Go to the park and read a book.
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I assume everyone here wants to know whats going on in my personal life right now. Actually that's not true but I feel like blogging so deal with it!!

So I had a job interview for a job I really really want yesterday. Reasons:
-It's in sales. My training is in sales and it's the field I want to go into.
-It's for Nielson, the company that does TV ratings, so I know its reputable.
-They would give me a phone and a laptop and a GPS. This is good news because my phone ...

My boyfriend works with his father and sometimes watching them makes me wonder about when my son will be an adult. I don't want to be one of those parents that treats him like a kid when he isn't anymore. But it must be weird when you're used to him being a small baby or a small child, dependent on you, to not really needing you anymore. I will have changed his diapers, and breastfed him, rocked him to sleep, fed him his first bites, watched him start walking and talking, and one day he will be ...

I feel so incredibly lonely. My days feel empty. Everyday my son grows up a bit more and I miss it. He's the only worthwhile thing I've done with my life and I'm such a failure of a mother that I can't even take care of him and be with him.

I have done nothing worthwhile with my life other than him, as much as I've tried. I can only manage to get jobs that high schoolers can do, or with companies that lie. I feel like I should just stop trying at life. It's done me no good. In fact, ...