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My big brother is leaving today, so it'll just be me and my dad. I'm really nervous and scared.

He jumped all over me last night cuz my brother and I were gone longer than what we told him ... I figured he'd be happy that we're getting along- even if we -were- out for awhile. He went on about "if I'm gonna be doin all this partyin and goin out BS I might as well go back to TN" (Seriously, I felt like we were in high school and had broken curfew hardcore on the way home. My ...

.... I miss you.

We're having a small service for my mom tomorrow.

My brother got here earlier and we went to hang out with my best friend for a little while.. We got stoned and bought some pain pills and whatnot..

It was good. I forgot how much I love hanging out with my big brother- especially when it's just us... We talked and laughed and all that good hsit.

But I have a lot on my shoulders regardless.. I'm the only one able to stay with ...

For all of the amazing messages, comments, and texts that I've gotten from you guys.

You have no idea how much it means to me. I'm very thankful and lucky to have each and every one of you in my life.

xD I expect a lot of sympathy votes for the Ciddies from those who haven't voted yet.

I'm just kidding.

I spoke with my dad for over an hour at 2 a.m. and he's seriously beasting it up right now. There were a few tears, sure, but the majority ...

My mom died.

I can't believe it's already here ... The movers/shippers will be here in the morning to pack up our stuff that's going into storage for right now.

Then we'll be leaving Tuesday morning I guess....

this week went by quickly.

Our roommate will be home tomorrow at around 5. His flight leaves sometime soon.

He sent me a msg on FB and was like "BEER. LOTS OF IT. My flight leaves soon. Be ready tomorrow."

Annnd it just means we're that much closer to leaving for NYC. Yep. More and more nervous!

Annnd I'm trying to get my grocery list and stuff ready for tomorrow.. If teh Jay gets paid in the morning, I'm getting up early and going shopping.

Still figuring ...

I told my mom about the move last night.

Needed to get her recipe for her oyster dressing & yeast rolls.

She wasn't mad or upset. Just surprised. We didn't talk long cuz she had to get off the phone to do something and never called me back.

Just like her. She likes my sister more than me. And I'm the only 1 out of the 3 of us that calls regularly and makes an effort to go see them more than once or twice a year.

oh well.

Passed out by 11 or 12, up at 6 or earlier.

Also, I'm about to go Britney Spears and shave my head. And maybe give my hair to Locks for Love.

Seriously. It's getting ridic. This junk is legit down to my waist when it's all back behind my ears. And 'cuz it hasn't been trimmed since 1945, it's all stringy and the ends are hella split. It's sooo annoying. I'm not even allowed to mention a hair cut.. Of any sort. Jay flips out and shuts me down immediately. My mom forbade me ...

I keep thinking it's next week.

But it's this week. Right? RIGHT!?

I haven't broken the news to my padres about NYC, but then again, my mom hasn't answered her phone, so whatever. Can't say I didn't try.

But we also won't make it to Texas for Turkey Day, either. Just can't afford it... For obvious reasons.

It makes me sad, that my parents will be without family this year. I thought my sister was going & I was just gonna ride with her, but ...