Blog Comments

Thanks Shlup!!

I just gotta break the news to my parents now. XD

I'm glad you got a positive response from your sister. Moving is stressful enough without dealing with other people's emotions, let alone having a kid!

Yeah. I know.

Even if we made up, I still wouldn't be able to stay with her and work. She lives far from any bus stops and is nowhere near walking distance to -anything- (and she'd be way too busy to take me to work and pick me back up.. my car is in Texas w my parents). We're better off -not- being in that close of a proximity. It was the same w my parents. Being w them 24/7 was awful.

But I'm hoping that once he gets busy w working and school, things will get better. The last couple of months w him being home and doing nothing are what's been driving me nuts mostly.

I don't mean to be THAT PERSON, but I think you need to be realistic about coming back if you don't like it. Moving back takes a lot of money and preparation. Unless you've got a car, you have to be prepared to lose almost all of your material items. And you've still got to have money.

Can't you make up with your sister? As someone who is also in the "I tried it out and now I want to go back" situation, I can tell you that you have to be prepared to be in it for the long haul. It doesn't even seem like you like Jay that much, so that's a huge commitment for you, especially when you don't even want to go.

Again, I'm not trying to shoot you down, I just want you to understand that you will probably have to stay there for longer than a couple of months if you don't like it.

I agree. Hence the reason I said I'd come back if I didn't like it.

But according to him, it's easier to find a job there than here.. He'll be making like $30/hr driving an ambulance at night plus what he gets from the Army every month. And we'll only be paying $500/month for rent and stuff cuz we'll be moving in w his old roommate.

New York doesn't seem like the type of place one easily saves up cash.

Might want to start picking up extra jobs and working your butt off. Save up and move out. You don't need no man! Hell i live on my own. I started so by having multiple jobs to do so. It's hard at first but then it'll get better. I think it'd best for you to do so. Then you'll not be relying on others and you'll be close to you daughter. And your daughter will see you're trying. The only thing is it takes a lot of will power to struggle through it all.in the end though, it's better than moving to NYC with some guy who could care less.

Originally Posted by noxious.sunshine

It's time to focus on me for awhile and get back to what's most important.

That is honestly the best way you can look at it. Is there a possibility you can move in with your sister? Focusing on yourself and your daughter are probably the healthiest things you can do right now. I know you mention her a lot and she seems to make you so happy.

At a choice between a boyfriend who makes you unhappy, doesn't respect you or your decisions or the life you want stacked up against your little girl who is the light of life, the decision would be clear to me.

I'm just so mind blown over the whole situation I can't even begin to think about what to do next.

And it's not just the fact that he's leaving me.. He's putting my -child- through all of this too. After I allowed him to meet her and get close to her.

IDK what's gonna happen at this point, but if we -do- break up, then that's it. I won't go through this ever again and I won't do it to my daughter.

I know... "You'll find someone down the road".. And yeah, I might. But I really don't care or want to. I'm just done. It's time to focus on me for awhile and get back to what's most important.

Yeah... she's spot on with this one, little lady.

You can only patch up the broken vehicle so many times before it's not worth fixing any more. I don't mean to say that your relationship isn't worth fixing but the negative so frequently and supremely outweighs the positive that it's tough to say otherwise.

Obviously you've got to do what you feel is best for yourself at any given time J, but it might be time to ask yourself if you can contemplate the rest of your life with him. If the answer is yes, give it more time, add another patch, and see about a genuine conversation. If the answer is no, it's time to buy a new car. Or drive a bike for a while.

It's been pretty apparent to me for some time that you two have what I would consider an unhealthy relationship. I'm not sure what your options are, but anything is better than staying in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship.

I am often an advocate of healing where wounds can be healed and trying to work things out when you've put a lot of work and effort into them but if I were you, I would leave. Or let him leave, one of the two.

How old was she? My mom's boxer is going grey like that. She's eight years old and it makes me sad

awe what a cute dog <3 sorry for your loss ;-; i have not lost a pet yet so i probably can not really imagine it

I'm really sorry about the health troubles of people around you. I think I knew someoen with Graves disease, but it was never confirmed.

Jay's thing is just frustrating. He's cut back on drinking a -lot- because he gets drunk too easily now, but when he gets over the edge, he starts wallowing in self pity talking about how he's "broken" & can't do much of what he wants. I'm not as worried about it, since it's treatable - he'll probably have surgery to get his thyroid glands removed to fix it.

And yeah, the truck... My dad was so proud when he bought it. He'd owned his own truck for many years, upgraded to newer models every so often, etc. But this one had a custom sleeper that he had built - he & my mom designed the interior together and bought the cab/front part separate to attach to it. It's supercharged Optimus Prime. So I'm really sad to see it go.

Thanks Sam. <3

I'm sorry about your aunt. And now that I'm a bit older, I recognize how things like cars and houses can have strong emotional connections.

I know that Jay's diagnosis might seem bleak, but it's so much better they figured it out, really. With proper treatment he can live his life so much more productively.

You have family - you even made it yourself.

Ooooh yeah! I need to do that! ^_^

Pics required.

Lol..He -really- doesn't want me to be "with him". He just likes to feel better about himself I guess.

I'm not trying to take up for anyone, 'cuz this kind of thing just isn't excusable to me. I've let it go .. For now. I didn't go off on him like I normally would. Just because .. I didn't feel like it. I have no energy to argue and fight and go back and forth with people really. So I let it go. I have enough to deal with IRL .

At the end of the day.. It's still some random person on the internet that I shouldn't get my feathers ruffled over.

But thanks, Sam. <333