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Thank you! I'm glad it shows!

I'm glad you're in a better place, dude. You seem to be happier with yourself lately.

Yeah, I might have been planning to kill myself the other night.

No, I am kidding. I was just upset and overly tired.

Um, am I missing something?

aw, thats horrible to hear, Sephex
i know the feeling, couple of months ago my dog had to be put down becaus he had severe cancer.
ive cried non-stop for 2 days.
almost 5 months later i still cry sometimes.

make sure you have plenty to do, to keep your mind off it. thats what helped me

Thanks to both of you. I also had to make the same call on a cat I owned three years ago. I guess this really hits hard because of how upset my parents are about it. Again, this isn't close to the first time a cat has had to be put to sleep or died naturally before that lived with my folks. It just sucks. I am feeling better about it more than I was yesterday, but this is probably going to stay with me for quite some time.

I am so sorry to hear that, man. It hurts so much to lose a pet who can reciprocate affection like cats can. One of my cats have died and another simply never returned home, and those were hard enough to deal with. I can't imagine making the call to put one down like that.

I hope you're doing okay and that you give yourself the time you need to come to terms with it.

I've been the guy that had to make that call before. It is awful and I would wish it on no one. I also get really attached to cats though. I've had a harder time dealing with the death of any ofy cats than I have had with the death of friends or family.

It sounds like you're having a rough time at the moment. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I want you to know you're not alone. It's so hard to 'clear the fog' sometimes when your brain is intent on making you believe lies like you are not important. I know it's hard to reach out, but it will help to get help. If you ever wanna talk about stuff, send me a pm. I'm a good listener x

If you are concerned about depression and wanting a starting place to work on it, I always recommend this book as a resource:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feeling...w_Mood_Therapy
It opened up a lot of doors for me and has helped significantly. Good luck, regardless.

trouts happen sometimes. Take care of yourself and all the best.

Thanks.

i hope you are feeling better dude sir have a hug


:squeeze:

Exactly, I really liked both takes on the concept a lot. I am probably going to end up buying it when it comes out on video. It would have been nice to see a giant battle axe, but I think it would have been a bit too silly in a live action setting unless the movie was played more like Pacific Rim or something.

I started reading the manga before watching the movie. I must say I am quite disappointed that Rita wasn't wielding her giant oversized axe in the movie. However, I kinda like the development of Tom Cruise character in the movie. It is quite interesting to see how a coward transforms into a hero like in technically one day.

And he's really handsome.

Forgot to mention that I've been listening to the Kirby Super Star OST a lot. That stuff just relaxes me to the max. Also, great memories. A few blogs back, I wrote a brief blog saying that I miss times I played games with friends when I was younger. I might go into it more later, but basically Kirby Super Star was one of those games. Since Kirby can take a power and make a helper controlled via CPU or Player 2, I often played with my buddy in that excellent SNES game. Such good times.

I was bullied. Throughout most of my schooling.. From 2nd grade all the way up through my sophomore year of high school even though I moved 4 hrs away to Nashville to get away from my hometown and the assholes I'd been stuck going to school with for 9 years.

It was bad.

But the Christian school I went to was way worse. They even called me "Columbine" after that happened. It was traumatizing. And it really screwed me up when I finally switched to public school.

The bully stuff literally gets thought of at random. Also, sometimes something will remind me of it. One time I started to watch the bully videos because a YouTube channel I watch mentioned one in passing, for example. But mostly, my brain just thinks. Work was being kind of slow, so my mind had a chance to wander.

I get where you are coming from on the part where kids and teens can't fully comprehend the consequences of their actions. I just feel that entirely too often, their wrong doings are completely dismissed because "they were just kids." I am pretty sure my bully's main goal was just to hurt me. Just as I knew that I was hurting the kid I picked on.

As for closure? I hope so. I seem to gain progress on this subject when I brought it up. The first time these sort of memories surfaces as an adult (getting picked on part), I wanted to track down the bully and pay him back right then and there. I was also a heavy drinker (I know drunk Sephex has shown up from time to time in these parts, but I am talking about getting wasted 4-5 times a week). I just never truly talked about the other side of the coin where I became the very thing that I hated back then, and I strongly resent now. I feel that I had to cast myself in that negative light and judge myself for a change instead of focusing on the fact that I got picked on. I mean, everybody has. I am sure the bully himself got messed with at some point.

I know I am well liked here, and I appreciate that. That's why I joke around most of the time. That's how I approach things in real life as well. Anyway, thank you for the input encouragement. I think I wrote all that because I was feeling bad about both sides of the coin, and I really needed to get things off my chest right there and then.

It must have been pretty painful for you to spark up these memories to turn them into an entry. What got you thinking about them?

I think we all did horrible stuff when we were kids, and I do think the "we're just kids" is legitimate. Even if you know what you're doing a the time, I don't think theres a way for teens and kids to fully comprehend consequences or consider reasons to act like a human being at the time. It's troutty, but kids are mean and selfish.

I hope writing it out was a form of closure or acceptance for you in some way. Keep your chin up, we all like you here.