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*I think I've been getting much better at having a positive attitude. Aside from mildly ranting about subjects that annoy me here and there, along with letting a video game frustrate me to the point of giving my coffee table a good smack, I've been in a much happier place. Any curve ball that has been thrown my way be it at work or wherever I handled very well.

*I've been sort of flirting with the idea of losing weight by eating better and/or working out. The problem is that when I ...

Start from scratch
Patch the uniform and let the galaxy form a comfortable replacement
We will not be missed
Goodbye to everything

One of my parent's cats had to be put to sleep today. He was a male cat named Big Mouth because of how loud and attentive he was. Long story short, my parents had crappy next door neighbors that just up and left three cats behind. One of them was Big Mouth. After taking care of them as strictly outdoor cats for awhile (they weren't sure if they wanted to bring them in with the existing cats they had at the time) they eventually brought them in.

Turns out that Big Mouth got FIV, which ...

I might have some sort of depression. It's hard to me to use an outlet that isn't self destructive to overcome some things. I have to remind myself that I have the power to change things. The question is if I have the courage to do it, and how my decision making makes other people feel. It's hard for me to do that because my opinion of myself is so low at times I think that I am incapable of hurting (or affecting any kind of strong emotion) other people because I am simply not that important.

EDIT: Holy crap. I was in a bad mood about my father overrating to stuff earlier that day while I was on a sleeping pill. I said some pretty bad things. I went to delete this, but I can't so I rather put up this explanation of what the heck was going on. Things are better now. Well, rather, things were fine to begin with, but an altered state of mind rarely goes good with a bad mood.

About to go to work. For a change I am feeling a little better about things, even though I am sure I am going to have a rough night tonight. Well, not really rough, but very tasking.

I also saw Edge of Tomorrow. It was the second feature at a Drive In my friends and I go to. I wasn't hating on it before I saw it, but I didn't think much of it. I ended up liking the film a lot. I researched the film a bit and it turns out it was based on a short manga called All You Need Is Kill. So ...

I have brought this up before, but I am going in a different direciton with it this time. But to recap my other blog on bullying real quick (I didn't take a look so I am going by memory), I feel that I didn't properly defend myself the occasional time I really got picked on. I had an actual bully once back in elementary school where things went a bit too far a couple of times. I will occasionally look up "bully beatdown" videos to vindicate my feelings on that sometimes, it's okay to "lower ...

*rimshot*

Alright, finally feeling a bit better these days. I figure that if you guys have to put up with extremely negative blogs, I should report when I am feeling happier. Since I made a list of bad random thoughts, I'll list some good things now.

*Been playing a table top game with friends I met through my girlfriend. It is an original game created by one of her friends that me and several other people been helping play testing. According to the creator, I am apparently very good at it ...

*I really need a drink
*If I wasn't at work, I would have let some sort of emotional collapse happen
*Not looking forward to driving home in the snow
*I have reached the point where I feel screaming to release negative emotion is pointless
*Days like this make me question if I have even made any positive progress over the years
*I know it's uncool to admit these type of things on the internet, but whatever, make fun of me. Anything you say or think can't even come ...