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Last night I had one giant clustersmurf dream divided into four different sections. All were death themed, in one way or another.

In the first dream my great grandma, who's been dead for 8 years, said she needed me to take her and my sister to the elementary school to pick up a neighbor kid. But the only way I could take her was by putting her in this sling thinger made of leaves and branches. It was kind of like those double barrel water-carriers you see in movies and stuff. ...

And I could make you hate me so much. So so so much.

If life were fair, I'd just stay drunk all the time. But I have to be sober so I can... do... uh... something.

Right now I am totally listening to the Marshall Tucker Band and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

I think a lot of my anger stems from the fact that at one point in time I was borderline talented at something. And then that went all to trout so now I use my brain for bitterness when ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ5JUwY65NY The original.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/37959347/The...ie%20Thumb.mp3 Foa-tized.

You're welcome.

If you've paid attention to anything I've ever posted ever, you've realized a couple of things about me. The first is that I often speak in absolutes.

The second is that I'm really clumsy. I didn't really comprehend this aspect of myself until I was older - I guess I felt my scrapes and bruises and bumping into walls and falling down a lot were normal.

I'd like to tell you I grew out of it, but I'd be lying. Right now I have a scratch on my right arm, a bruise of ...

I figured out the best way to tell if I have a bad day is to think of how often I pee at work.

Yesterday I worked from 8:30am to about 9pm. And I didn't pee one time the entire day. When I got home, it was like a freaking monsoon.

Today I peed while I was at work.

So today was a better day than yesterday.

Yay.

I am ready to give up.

The staff at my store have helped raise over $1000.00 for the family of the child I think I mentioned earlier.

You can't tell me good people don't exist.

I applied for 11 jobs today. And I've already received e-mails back from two of the places I applied!

And both are phishing scams.

And people think I'm smart.

When I was a younger foa I updated a livejournal pretty regularly. And it was always just so much bitching. I look back now and cringe about it because what the hell. Count your smurfing blessings.

So I told myself that I wasn't going to ever do that again because I didn't want to continue to be that person.

That being said, I'm generally a person who likes stress, thrives under a deadline, etc. I measure stress like... running headlong towards a brick wall. Some ...

A major theme in my life has quite suddenly become exposure to things that frighten me, and terribly enough this new theme joined forces with my life's M.O. of throwing ridiculous bad luck at me this morning.

This morning after about an hours worth of sleep I headed in to work to count all the freakin' money from yesterday. I headed into our business office where A, the manager on duty met me with her usual deadpan delivery.

"There's a thousand leg creature ...