To plume up my will in double knavery

I finally decided to do a bit of research with regards to all of the people that say that margarine is made out of plastic.

What I discovered is that the original scare was spiked by the assertion that margarine is one molecule away from being plastic.

Molecule.

Go ahead, look that word up. I'll wait.

EVERY SUBSTANCE IN THE UNIVERSE IS ONE MOLECULE AWAY FROM BEING EVERY OTHER SUBSTANCE.

Margarine is one molecule away from being uranium. Wonder of wonders, I've eaten a lot of margarine in my time and I don't have cancer.

Even if it was actually meant to say that a margarine molecule is one atom away from being plastic, this means nothing. Oxygen is one atom away from being ozone, which is a poisonous gas.

Johnny fricking Cash people are thick.