• Top 5 What the $@%# Moments in FF

    There have been quite a few times in the Final Fantasy series where you just stared at the screen and thought “what the heck did I just play”. Using magic doesn’t phase you. Strange creatures don’t phase you. These moments though? These make you just audibly say, “What the smurf?”


    5 Final Fantasy VIII’s Concert


    In VIII, Selphie and Irvine try to set up a date for Squall and Rinoa as well as celebrating his new command position. You get the lovely task of selecting instruments for the remaining cast to play on this date. It’s all a variation of Eyes on Me but each instrument has a bit of a different tune. You can have a lovely celtic sounding composition, or possibly a Jazz one. Or, like many players, you'll end up with a sound that causes weaker willed people’s ears to bleed.

    Oh and a very awkward laugh to be had about it? A porn magazine is involved. Being the nice guy he is, Irvine leaves Squall a magazine to help him get Riona and Squall “in the mood.” Yeah. YEAH.

    4 Final Fantasy IX’s Tinkle Tinkle

    Vivi always seemed to look up to Zidane as a role model or at least someone who could give him advice. Creepily, Eiko is around the corner listening to the entire interaction the two of them have.


    Sharing a bro moment, Zidane tells Vivi about a “ritual between male friends” which involves *Tinkle* *Tinkle*ing off the edge of the cliff. You quickly understand that tinkle tinkling is not just a sound affect but what they are doing. What’s weird is Eiko is listening to the whole thing. She's like five! She's already creepily in love with Zidane and now she is thinking about him as he pees! But hey, at least we know for sure what gender Vivi is under that hat and cloak.

    3 Ultros Crashing Final Fantasy VI’s Opera

    The whole Opera event is weird on its own. You have to act as opera singers flawlessly in order to continue when, out of the blue, Ultros decides to crash the party. Breaking the fourth wall you say? Ultros doesn’t hold back with his comments as he uses his tentacley appendages to knock it down.


    You get a countdown to stop Ultros. The amusing thing is that even if you fail to stop him and have to re-preform the Opera all over again, he’ll still come back to mess it up. It all ends with Locke using his horrible acting skills to try and save the show.

    The whole scene is just out of place and even more so with Ultros. It just causes that eyebrow to raise.

    2 Final Fantasy IV’s Developer Room

    What’s so strange about this one is that it doesn’t just break the fourth wall, it shatters it. Hiding away in Dwarf Castle you’ll be able to find a secret room that has all the developers just chilling out and chatting as random sprites. Heck the battle Director Itou appears as a random battle for you. You can even recruit the game Designer Takashi Tokita for your party! (kinda)


    That’s not even the end of it. You know that whole porn incident earlier? Well here it is again. You can find a porn magazine for Cecil there. Upon using it he’ll say “Now this is what I call great literature!” as he reads it. Yeah. A porn magazine.

    Even in its remade versions, IV still keeps that room around but, they add in the newer staff that helped remake the game as well to the original staffers chilling out in the Dev room.

    1 Final Fantasy VII’s Honey Bee Inn

    If for any reason you didn’t think this was going to be at the top then you really haven’t played the game have you? On the very odd side quest to make Cloud look like a girl you have to go to the Honey Bee Inn. Cloud needs some underwear and he has two choices of rooms to pick from.


    As you enter the first room, it quickly gets full of bodybuilders in spandex. You then end up having to join all of them in the bathtub. Yes. Bathtub. You and very muscled men jump in a bathtub together. Some very awkward dialog happens and you tend to just think “what. the. smurf.”

    But just you wait! Had you decided to pick the second door Cloud seems to be having another one of his mental trips and passes out. The honeybee girl screams and as you’re coming too, you hear a bit of *rub rub* and even a *squish* in the darkness. You wake up to a muscle man sitting on you giving you a “massage”. I think you were just violated. The honeybee girl even says “I’m so sorry… There’s a lot of ‘adult’ things going on…" Yeah. I feel a bit sorry for Cloud.



    YEAH. WHAT THE $@%# JUST HAPPENED? If you feel we (Freya and your favorite FF CK, Wolf Kanno) missed something or feel like our countdown was wrong, feel free to chime in! You’ll be wrong of course, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to o_O at other scenes!
    This article was originally published in forum thread: Top 5 What the $@%# Moments in FF started by Freya View original post
    Comments 23 Comments
    1. chionos's Avatar
      chionos -
      I don't know that I'd have the Ultros Opera thing on there, just because it didn't bother me when I played the game, it seemed to fit Ultros's personality perfectly. Otherwise, solid list. Replace Ultros with Tidus's hideous laugh and you're set.
    1. Freya's Avatar
      Freya -
      Tidus's laugh is a very valid one! I completely forgot about it to be honest.
    1. Alpha2099's Avatar
      Alpha2099 -
      Personally, the ending to FF7 made me do a double-take. I was kinda confused about what exactly happened or didn't happen.
    1. Jiro's Avatar
      Jiro -
      Final Fantasy really is full of these moments but I think VII takes the cake for most WTF moments in a single game. The entire flashback scene is crazy enough (especially when you realise it didn't happen that way at all) without Cloud finding orthopedic underwear in Tifa's dresser! AND PUTTING THEM ON!
    1. Sylvie's Avatar
      Sylvie -
      Mukki's self-imposition upon Cloud's sexual sanctity was perfectly bizarre and juicy. One of my most grand fantasies includes Cloud dressed as a woman, down to the last detail wearing fine lingerie and being as submissively clueless as he is portrayed in the game.
    1. chionos's Avatar
      chionos -
      Quote Originally Posted by Sylvie View Post
      Mukki's self-imposition upon Cloud's sexual sanctity was perfectly bizarre and juicy. One of my most grand fantasies includes Cloud dressed as a woman, down to the last detail wearing fine lingerie and being as submissively clueless as he is portrayed in the game.
      Do you have a birthday coming soon? Is that a hint or something?
    1. Sylvie's Avatar
      Sylvie -
      Not unless you can get me a real-life Cloud transvestite to be my slightly non-consenting love slave.
    1. Del Murder's Avatar
      Del Murder -
      Honey Bee in was pretty weird. Cloud crossdressing was also weird. FFVII had a lot of odd moments, which is part of what made it great. It's something the more recent FFs are definitely lacking.
    1. Fynn's Avatar
      Fynn -
      For me, the biggest WTF?! moment in FFVII was when I encountered this enemy:

      Attachment 36122

      A pink house.

      Yeah.
    1. Loony BoB's Avatar
      Loony BoB -
      One of the unlockable endings for FFXIII-2, narrated by Mog, is certainly right up there. And I love it.
    1. Sephex's Avatar
      Sephex -
      Brother from FFX-2 was way over the top, even for Japanese culture. That and he has no qualms with wanting to get in his cousin's pants.
    1. Sylvie's Avatar
      Sylvie -
      the smurfing laughing scene in FFX
    1. Sephex's Avatar
      Sephex -
      Quote Originally Posted by Sylvie View Post
      the smurfing laughing scene in FFX
      And it sucked with either voice acting: Tidus Laugh English AND Japanese Synched! - YouTube
    1. Depression Moon's Avatar
      Depression Moon -
      I never knew about the FFIV one. Is that in every version of the game?
    1. Sephex's Avatar
      Sephex -
      Quote Originally Posted by Depression Moon View Post
      I never knew about the FFIV one. Is that in every version of the game?
      It was cut from the original US SNES release (aka "Final Fantasy II").
    1. Fynn's Avatar
      Fynn -
      People! The laughing scene was SUPPOSED to be painfully awkward!

      And while we're at it, how about the massage scene in X-2? I remember playing it when my mom's student was in the room. There was a very awkward silence.
    1. Dr. rydrum2112's Avatar
      Dr. rydrum2112 -
      not sure I agree with the concert- the others are spot on though.

      How about the WTF moment when you find out that Yuna & Brother are cousins in FFX-2...
    1. Fynn's Avatar
      Fynn -
      Quote Originally Posted by rydrum2112 View Post
      not sure I agree with the concert- the others are spot on though.

      How about the WTF moment when you find out that Yuna & Brother are cousins in FFX-2...
      But you knew that from X
    1. Sylvie's Avatar
      Sylvie -
      Quote Originally Posted by Sephex View Post
      Quote Originally Posted by Depression Moon View Post
      I never knew about the FFIV one. Is that in every version of the game?
      It was cut from the original US SNES release (aka "Final Fantasy II").
      Truly!?
    1. Jinx's Avatar
      Jinx -
      I'm pretty sure the entirety of FFX-2 was just one continuous 100 hour what the smurf moment.
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