• Yuna's Besaid Butt Lift

    Yuna's Besaid Butt Lift


    Hey you! Do you ever wish you could pull off short shorts like High Summoner Yuna? I'm looking at you, Ralph, I've seen your summer wish list. Well, good news for you, I've uncovered the secrets to gaining a bootylicious bottom for all of your bottom needs. Throw away your seat cushions and follow these few easy steps!

    1. Be Born With Good Genes

    Many of us don't really do our homework before we are born, but, well... start. Do you research before selecting a womb from which to emerge in to this world. Pay careful attention to income level, medical history, and, of course, figure. You think everyone can have a bountiful booty? No.



    2. Jeans also help


    Buy some jeans. Ask your sales associate which ones will highlight your bum. Purchase them with currency. Wear them. Watch the onlookers marvel at your derriere before you pepper spray them for being creeps. This booty is for you, not for them.



    3. Do Some Inward Reflection as to Why This is So Important to You

    Why do you need a hot bod? Do you not love yourself? It's normal. Everyone has insecurities. It's alright. What's important is that you work towards your goals. Fight everyday for what you want. Make goals, make some plans to achieve those goals, and work towards them every step of the way. Besides, it's what's inside that matters. Just remember that looks aren't everything. Also, we're all going to die someday anyway and your time on earth is fleeting and brief in the grand scheme of things. Chances are you won't make it in to the history books anyway, so who even cares what you look like? Death is upon us all!



    4. Exercise

    Do some stair stuff. Squats, probably. Yoga? Yoga might help. Go for some jogs. Bicycle. Lift some weights and tone your body up. Do butt clenches. Like, a lot of them. A LOT OF THEM. In public. At work. With your family. Just clench, clench like your life depends on it!



    5. Plastic Surgery

    If all else fails, you've chosen to be born in to a rich family anyway, so just buy your way to a better butt! If you couldn't find the right family well... work hard, save up and buy yourself the bum of your dreams!

    Remember, Yuna believes in you and totally advocates for everything on this list*

    *Yuna does not advocate anything on this list
    This article was originally published in forum thread: Yuna's Besaid Butt Lift started by Pumpkin View original post
    Comments 12 Comments
    1. Fynn's Avatar
      Fynn -
      My butt is super important to me. Thanks Yuna!
    1. sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
      sharkythesharkdogg -
      Hey guys, long time Yuna believer here. I just wanted to say this list works!

      Last year I sued my parents for not being more wealthy, and I've used the settlement amount to hire my own personal trainer. Right now they have me training by cracking open walnuts between my ass cheeks.

      Between Vaan's ab workout, Sabin's suplex program, and Yuna's derriere methods, I'm a finely chiseled, Greek god. I'm finally ready to oil up and slap on that banana hammock for this year's beach trip.
    1. Mr. Carnelian's Avatar
      Mr. Carnelian -
      Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
      Between Vaan's ab workout, Sabin's suplex program, and Yuna's derriere methods, I'm a finely chiseled, Greek god. I'm finally ready to oil up and slap on that banana hammock for this year's beach trip.
      I demand photo evidence.
    1. Fynn's Avatar
      Fynn -
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
      Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
      Between Vaan's ab workout, Sabin's suplex program, and Yuna's derriere methods, I'm a finely chiseled, Greek god. I'm finally ready to oil up and slap on that banana hammock for this year's beach trip.
      I demand photo evidence.
      Use your imagination
    1. sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
      sharkythesharkdogg -
      Time for the pepper spray.
    1. CactuarKing's Avatar
      CactuarKing -
      Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
      Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
      Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
      Between Vaan's ab workout, Sabin's suplex program, and Yuna's derriere methods, I'm a finely chiseled, Greek god. I'm finally ready to oil up and slap on that banana hammock for this year's beach trip.
      I demand photo evidence.
      Use your imagination
      Quote Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg View Post
      Time for the pepper spray.
      Definitely. Or at least a cold shower.

      Loved this article. Very funny.
    1. Ayen's Avatar
      Ayen -
      I had Yuna butt as a signature once to um... inspire me.

      Yes, to inspire me to have a butt like hers. Though if you stare at it for too long it starts to talk to you. Got super awkward.
    1. Fynn's Avatar
      Fynn -
      I remember that. Words of wisdom
    1. Freya's Avatar
      Freya -
      I bet she just does squats all day while riding around on her airship.
    1. Night Fury's Avatar
      Night Fury -
      Quote Originally Posted by Ayen View Post
      I had Yuna butt as a signature once to um... inspire me.

      Yes, to inspire me to have a butt like hers. Though if you stare at it for too long it starts to talk to you. Got super awkward.

      Hahahahahahahaha who would have done such a thing?!?!?
    1. Midgar Mist's Avatar
      Midgar Mist -
      Well written article Pumpkin, found it entertaining and imaginative
    1. Mercer's Avatar
      Mercer -
      Too bad Yuna isn't real. But than again it still wouldn't benefit any of us if she was real and was a celebrity. She still wouldn't sleep with any of us. XD
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