And you think so little of me that I'd abandon a friend after one instance of hurting my feelings? Jesus, Sky, have some faith in me I appreciate that you went out of your way to analyze the situation and I can tell you really mean it. I'm still a bit mad (you can't always see it, but I have a fiery temper), but it's nothing that won't fizzle out soon. So you're fine. Sorry if I made it sound much more dramatic than it was. I just got a bit possed because I'm just sick of always being an outsider, no matter how close friends I am with people overseas. It struck a sensitive area of my life, but you had no way of knowing. So we're good. You're still my friend. Everyone loses control once in a while. Same goes for me.
I always do. And I always regret it afterwards. Doesn't change things. Always too little, too late. Well, now you've seen the side of me that everyone else has. Now you know why I was banned. Because I view everything as a personal attack. The left has made this an "us versus them" situation. I don't think I'm telling a lie there. But I did fail to acknowledge a truth. I treat every discussion that way if I feel my points are dismissed. You didn't do anything wrong there. I didn't even realize this until I was looking back at the posts now. Your first post was fine, a statement of your view and a request for an alternative. And you didn't post again until you were asking me about my sweeping generalizations. Which was a fair statement. But, at that point, I wasn't seeing clearly. All I saw was people dismissing my views, and not acknowledging my points, or the legitimacy of them. Everyone who was arguing was grouped that way together. This was a habit I frequently noticed in Academia, and it was one of my biggest problems there. When I'm talking one on one, I'm fine. Once multiple people start taking points against me, I lose track. Everything blurs together. I respond quickly, I don't notice who's who. I answer every response, and I don't bother to acknowledge what points each individual is making. They're all just coming from people who are attacking me. Even when they're not actually attacking me. When I'm in that defensive position, ever statement coming towards me is visualized as an attack. In that case, the "us against them" was entirely of my making, and you're right about that. I don't even realize at the time that I'm doing it. And it's been behind most of my worst behavior on this forum (or any debate/discussion). In positions like that, I seek validation. Acknowledgment. Some sign that my positions are understood. And instead I always get told I'm wrong. And I get defensive, and I lash out. In stupid and hurtful ways. I am sorry that I've hurt your feelings. You did nothing to deserve that, you were respectful, honest, and I acted like an ass. I am sorry that I mischaracterized your continent and your culture. Europe is no more homogenous than any other part of the world. I am sorry that my idiocy has destroyed our friendship. Not surprised, but sorry. You are my oldest, and most valued friend. Partially because you do always put me in my place when I'm being an ass. I'm sad to lose you. But I wish you well in your future endeavors. Writing, drawing, or whatever else you take on. I'll still watch and critique (and I'll still try out The Witcher). Godspeed.
I didn't decide to put "us against them". You did. And I'm really sorry you thought it was worth it.
No need to apologize if you don't feel like it. Since you feel so low of me and my smelly foreign culture, I really don't know why we're having this conversation at all. I really have nothing more to say to you. You've crossed a line.
I don't know, man. Maybe none of this makes sense to you. Maybe I'm ranting. But look at the thread. You haven't felt targeted when your group is portrayed negatively (once), so we shouldn't either (even though ours has been happening LITERALLY every day for over a year). You're not on my side. So, you're siding with those who have been mischaracterizing me, attacking me, and mocking me. And when I point out how the mocking generalizations aren't very pleasant? You say it's hurtful. But you don't go "oh, yeah, you have a good point, no wonder this is aggravating to you and FFNut". And that was with a SINGLE statement on my part. I've lived with this mockery, slander, and hateful bigotry a lot longer than just this one incident. You said you didn't see why it was upsetting to us. Do you now? And I'm sorry I'm so snappish.
And I've called you such things so many times, haven't I. Definitely deserving to be called that. I think we're done here.
Hurtful? Certainly. But so is being called a xenophobic, hateful, lying, privileged, racist bigot. That doesn't stop anyone. Hypocritical? Not any more. Academia taught me that there is no conversation on this topic. There is no attempt at peaceful understanding, no "live and let live". There is us versus them. And there is no "us" in Europe, save for those who have already been cast down and ridiculed, like those in France.
Well that's fairly hypocritical and hurtful.
The first is called the Last Wish. And hey, I'm still in the middle of Norwegian Wood!
Project Gutenberg has them all up online for free. You can read them online, print them out, whatever. https://www.gutenberg.org/files/3270...-h/32706-h.htm There's the first one. There's six total. I'll go hunt down a copy of The Witcher.
