(Lorelai slides into her seat next to Rory, carrying food and drinks.) Lorelai (whispers to Rory): What did I miss? RORY: Taylor Doose wants the no parking zone in front of his store removed. He says his customers are being unfairly ticketed. LORELAI: No, its just because he wants to park there all day. RORY: Genius. MAYOR: I have been mayor of this fine town for a long time. I tend to think of all of you as my children. Unfortunately sometimes children have to be disciplined. Now I'm going to say something and I'm only going to say it once. We have leash laws people. LORELAI (whispers to Rory): Daddy's getting angry. MAYOR: Rover will not leash himself. R: Hm, good point. MAYOR: I would like to now move on tom something of even greater importance. As you all know this coming Friday is the anniversary of the legendary battle of Stars Hollow. (applause) L (whispers): Where's Luke? R: Up there. MAYOR: Penny will be circulating a sign up sheet for those of you who would like to participate in the reenactment of foresaid battle. R (whispers): He's turning red. MAYOR: All right. It was a frigid November night, some 224 years ago. L (whispers): He's shifting in his seat MAYOR: The brave stars hollow militia stood in wait for the Red Coats. R (whispers): He's adjusting the cap. L: Ooh! MAYOR: Tired and Hungry, twelve proud men took their positions in the Town's Square, braving the elements . . . L (whispers): He's fighting the urge, he's fighting the urge. MAYOR: . . .and imminent death in their valiant efforts. . . LUKE: Oh for God's Sake, do we have to go through this every damn year! L: Yesssss! R: And the urge wins by a long shot. LUKE: I thought we were here to discuss town issues. TAYLOR: This is a town issue. MAYOR: Excuse me, who's talking? LUKE: Its me Harry, Luke, you've known me since I was 5 years old. MAYOR: Oh, Luke, yes. Sit down. Now as I was saying, twelve heroic men assembled with guns drawn ready to meet their maker. LUKE: What are you talking about? Twelve guys stood in a row all night. MAYOR: Waiting for the Red Coats. LUKE: Who never showed! MAYOR: Now just a minute! LUKE: Twelve guys stood in a row all night waiting for an enemy that never showed. They got stood up. They should've been wearing prom dresses. TAYLOR: I've had just about enough of this. LUKE: Sit down Taylor. TAYLOR: Menace. LUKE: Suck up. L (whispers to R): Five bucks says somebody ends up in a headlock. R: You're on!
