Porno tapes?
We're WAAAAAY past that, my friend.
No masturbation please!
Camera. Cameras. Cameras everywhere!
How...how...did you know!?
That's nothing special. You like a horse.
I had a dump?
Although congratulations. For whatever it is that may or may not have happened at some point.
That's a shame!
Well, not anymore. Nothing's important about today.