Dixie Claws doesn't really like Christmas. So every year, on Christmas day, he takes a dump through everyone within a 5 mile radius' letterbox. One day, however, his ass was caught in the flap, and he was trapped! He stood there for hours, until he heard a scuttling and a ho-hoing on the roof. "HELLO?" he shouted to the noise. "HO HO HO! I KNOW THAT BUTTOCK VOICE ANYWHERE!" Boomed a booming voice boomily. Dixie jumped when he saw a red flash in front of his eyes, and a thump on the ground in front of him. When he looked up, he saw none other than....BRIAN BLESSED! "OOOOH! BRIAN BLESSED! I LOVE YOU" he gasped happily. "Yes I know. And I often read your letters when I'm lonely at night." Brian grinned cheekily. "Yey!" "YEY, INDEED! OH VERY YEY!" So Dixie Claws never shat through anyone's letterbox ever again, because Brian Blessed had him forever locked in his wardrobe. MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU EROTIC LETTER WRITING, UNFORTUNATELY TRAPPED, LETTER BOX CRAPPING PERSON!
