Why aye, Jess. Why aye.
Jess knows problems. How homophoney.
Recent surveys have proven that British people are up to 40% better than everyone else.
You smell like one!
You've had it coming for a long while.
Look at your evil black eyes. Look at them! No good can come of this:
As lil' Jess tumbled down the stairs to her living room on an early Christmas morn, she wondered what she would get - other than mild concussion of course. When she reached the bottom and gained her balance, she ran to the Christmas tree and peered underneath...but nothing was there! Amidst her wild sobbing she thought she heard something... "Help me....." said a small voice from the chimney. "Help...." Jess looked up the chimney and saw none other than Santa!!!! "SANTA!" she cried. "What are you doing there??" "My magic ran out and I'm stuck halfway down the chimney dear. Would you mind getting me some milk and cookies to replenish my low magic level?" "OK Santa! I'll get them right away!" With that, Jess skipped to the kitchen to fetch some milk and cookies. She poured Santa a nice pint glass of milk, and put 5 cookies on a plate, and then returned to the chimney. "How should I get them to you, Santa?" She asked, but Santa was already on that. With a sound like a jet plane, he sucked the plate from Jess' delicate hands and she cringed and she heard him gobbling the cookies and slurping the milk. A few moments later, a big red thing landed in front of her. "HO HO HO!" roared Santa. "It's a good job you're the last child on my list, dear! Now what do you want for Christmas?" "A car, a laptop, a new games console, six TVs and some cheese, please!" said Jess, hopefully. "Urrrhhhh....how about a book?" And Santa pulled a nicely wrapped parcel from inside his pocket. Jess unwrapped it and saw the ONLY MR MAN BOOK SHE DIDN'T HAVE! "OH THANK YOU SANTA! THIS IS SOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER STUFF!" Santa laughed again, and jumped back up the chimney, and Jess giggled as she waved goodbye to his jingling sleigh. MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU SANTA SAVING, MR MAN LOVING LADY!
For some reason I'm scared of your sig.
