For what it's worth I will always be here for you. It is obviously very unfortunate with what happened. What is important now though is that you realize that she was given the best days of her life because of you. She loves you and if you truly want to make her happy dont go on in life being sad. You can grieve you can cry for her but if you love her you will honor her memmory and you will cherish the best of your memmories with her and you will go on living as happy as possible as she would want you to. She wouldn't want you to be sickened and ill from this misfortuane. If she could come and cheer you up she would but she cant. That doesnt mean that she cant still cheer you up . Let her memmory be honored and cherished and you will find strenght from with-in yourself that she shall support you with from with in. Strenght from your memmories you had and strenght from the true love that you had. The true love that will live forever if you let it. She lived and died loving you don't let the love within your memmories die don't let the love within your heart die. She would want your heart to beat on and to sing high praises from within, she would want to live on with in your heart giving you more strenght , giving you more love , protecting you. Helping you to move on as best as you can. She loved you and wants you to make good. Let her into your heart as you've done before. Think of her yes, you know her well enough to know that she wouldn't want you to go on depressed in life. Listen to the sound of her voice in your heart . Let that voice guide you and make you stronger.
