Buy our new Salvation package right now! Accept Jesus as your lord and saviour and you'll also get these following benefits; - Eternal life in the bosom of our Lord - Bragging rights to all those silly little pagans and Atheists - Instant legitimate reasons to be Homophobic; you'll never have to attend your cousin Pedro's fondu parties ever again Act now and you'll also get ten free sign-ups for the blasphemous heathens of your choice. Acceptable monetary donations to your local church guaranteed* to be lower than any other religion. Order now! *Note, in some cases church may ask you for tithe's to purchase holy water, holy wood and holy guacamole, all donated funds are non-refundable
