Pumpkin

I am leaving to go visit my mom and son on Thursday. I am extremely happy to go see my son. It has been too long. I hear him talking in the background on the phone and when I last some him he was saying words, but not speaking full sentences yet, so I'm very excited. He can also recite most of the alphabet now.

He's going to have a birthday party, which I think will be good for him, because he's a very social little boy. He likes to play with other children and share toys with them. He can ride a tricycle now.

I am very much looking forward to seeing him.

The downside is I have to go see my mom, who I don't get along with well at all. She frustrates me and it takes away from the overall experience. She also tries to undermine my authority with my son, which results in a heated discussion each time. It's upsetting.

It's also a place where I have been stuck twice (meaning I wasn't able to move out when I wanted to and she told me I would be able to) so the place brings back bad memories and makes me anxious, even though it's only a 6 day trip. The place also makes me feel incredibly lonely, but I'm not sure why.

My mom is supposed to start doing the traveling and bringing my son to see me where I live now because eventually he will have to live there and we all (my mom, me, and my boyfriend) decided it was best to do a gradual move so he could get used to the place, and my boyfriend, before he moves down. We aren't ready to have him move down yet but it will speed up the process to have him come visit and adapt slowly instead of rushing him and everyone else into everything, which will just cause a lot of stress for everyone, my son included. But she always comes up with a reason not to do it. The trip is too long to drive. So take a plane. I'm afraid of planes. Well, so am I mom, and I'm stuck taking them many times a year. It has to be done eventually. I feel like she's being selfish and I don't know how to convince her to go, since discussing many times didn't work, other than refusing to go up there until she comes down here. But then I'll miss out on time with my son, and I don't want that.

Anyways, I am excited to see my son (now 3) and to see how he's grown (there will be some mom tears ). I'm hoping for a good fun week to enjoy him.