Pumpkin

I feel so incredibly lonely. My days feel empty. Everyday my son grows up a bit more and I miss it. He's the only worthwhile thing I've done with my life and I'm such a failure of a mother that I can't even take care of him and be with him.

I have done nothing worthwhile with my life other than him, as much as I've tried. I can only manage to get jobs that high schoolers can do, or with companies that lie. I feel like I should just stop trying at life. It's done me no good. In fact, in some cases I may have been better off not trying at all. Then I wouldn't have had a job offer that I thought was great, only to turn out to be crap. And I wouldn't have quit my other job for it,even though I hated it. So now I'm eventually going to have to face people and tell them what a failure I am because I can't keep one stupid job. If I didn't try so hard, I wouldn't feel so bad about not being able to make friends.

I feel so very lonely. All I'm accomplishing to the world right now is being a starin on my relationship. Maybe one day my efforts will mean something to someone in a good way. Until then I guess I'm going to just have to hope.