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It's not really a good thing that I have an absurd amount of anger. I wasn't really like this in the past. I've been blowing up at stuff that really isn't a big deal. Today I was just....angry. Nothing happened at work. Nothing bad happened elsewhere. In fact, I am just chilling right now and about to play the new Zelda game again.

Anyway, I ended up watching a bunch of "bully gets beat" videos to make myself feel better/vent anger somewhere. I don't necessarily dwell on this subject too often, but when I do, I become pretty unreasonable.

Like, if I could mentally go through time, I would get in fight after fight with people who I have felt wronged me. It wouldn't even be about winning a fight or revenge. Just something to be done because I feel that I let myself down by not standing up for myself. Yeah, sorry, I have firsthand evidence that backing down and "taking the high road" does NOTHING to deter people that want to mess with you.

The other week, I felt that my boss threw me and another coworker under the bus about an issue at work. No one got in trouble because his reasoning was flawed, but it angered me. I held my composure for the rest of the day. Then when I got in my car, I ended up screaming very dark things or unintelligibly. I actually totally destroyed my voice for a day or so. It ended up sounding like I caught a nasty cold.

The reason I bring this up is because I did the same thing today in my car on my way to my parent's house (I go visit on some Mondays). I didn't scream as long, loud, and my voice is fine...but I just feel so pent up. I am just so angry, and I don't know why.