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Life boat left without me

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Yesterday i got home from the much shorter then i thought trip (hai shorty <3) and my friend who moved away 2 years ago stopped by with her parents to visit.

we used to go to school together before i had to leave and we kind of knew each other as far back as i can remember

she started telling me how good school is going and about her friends and i am really happy for her. we said are goodbyes and all that and then i realized how ... melancholy i felt. i felt really alone and i instantly wanted to go back 2 or 3 years ago and make things stay the way they were then.

i know i sound selfish and you guys know how happy of a person i am so this is weird for me. yesterday i thought it was just that day... but when i started thinking about it again i just cryed about it for a little bit. >.>

i miss her and i feel like i lost her friendship like its not the way it was back then. i am having a really hard time explaining it. i guess my health was a little better 2 years ago i miss that and i miss everything about the time i was able to spend with her

i know im rambling now but does anyone know how i feel? when does it go away? i saw her a few months ago and this did not happen why now? the truth is im scared o.o

it is so unlike me and it makes me feel selfish like im jealous of her or something. like i feel like i had a chance to be friends like we used to and i let it get away. i feel like the boat of her life that used to be part of mine just left without me.. and i am only now realizing it >.>

so yeah.. throw eggs or .. you know =D leave comments

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  1. Pant Leg Eater from the Bad World's Avatar
    I know how it is. People grow apart and grow up differently when they aren't growing together. People change and we have to accept that. Trust me, I know it sucks. I have had many friendships that just kind of dwindled away because of distance. I find it best not to think about how things should be between you and be happy about how good the good times were.
    Hope it helps.
  2. Lone Wolf Leonhart's Avatar
    It's very interesting you say you miss being younger. I can relate, in fact I can't even remember much about being your age. Just remember to enjoy things the way they are now, because when you get older you'll look back and miss the days you are going through right now just as you miss the old days now.

    It's okay to miss old friends. Time heals a lot of wounds. People move on. You can still remember people as they once were and try to appreciate them as life moves on. But keep looking forward with enjoyment.
  3. Ghosteses's Avatar
    my marm told me something similar. she says when she was 15 she looked back on being 10 and wished she could go back and then when she was 20 she looked back on 15 and wished she could go back

    farthest i think back right now is like 8 >.> i guess in five years i will think back to me now and feel the same way.

    i just wish i could explain it better. i wish i could catch up to where she is.. start going to her school and maybe get that feeling back but i guess somehow its not meant to be :x

    i am probably just going through december blues xD

    thanks for the replys =D