Pumpkin

My son is basically the same age my brother was when he died. I've been having bad dreams about something bad happening lately and it is scaring me a little bit. Or a lot. More than it should.

I don't really know what else to say. I miss him and I'm scared something will happen to him and I'll never see him again or see him grow up and I feel so stuck. I can't seem to get my life straight so that I can take care of him properly. I feel like an awful person.

My mom tells me he is happy. I hope he is. I'll be going to visit in April.