Radom Thoughts
by
, 02-05-2014 at 06:50 PM (2594 Views)
*I really need a drink
*If I wasn't at work, I would have let some sort of emotional collapse happen
*Not looking forward to driving home in the snow
*I have reached the point where I feel screaming to release negative emotion is pointless
*Days like this make me question if I have even made any positive progress over the years
*I know it's uncool to admit these type of things on the internet, but whatever, make fun of me. Anything you say or think can't even come close to my ability to self loathe
*Almost spun out on the way to work this morning. Was worried about insurance repercussions instead of life threatening ones. I always think that way
*Speaking of snow stuff, I am just sick of it in general. I remember last season people were whining that "we don't get good old fashioned Chicago winters" anymore. Well, here it is. You idiots happy now?
*I assume the worst in almost every situation I am in. I am not sure if that's a defense mechanism or if I mistrust people that much
*I probably just had too much coffee again
*Maybe I just go in cycles, and there is nothing to be done about all this. I feel positive than I do negative. The problem is when I feel negative, I dip down pretty deep
*I had a nightmare I was at my parent's house and someone broke in. I beat the man to death and got thrown in jail
*There are a couple of people I know that I wish to outlive so I can periodically spit on their graves
*Which leads me to believe how many times it will happen to my grave
*Which leads me to wonder if I will even have a grave since I am fairly certain I will die alone
*Which leads me to think if I can think of a more cliched depressing thought
*A lot of people don't realize that when I get depressed, it's like riding out a storm. You just have to let it pass. I hate it when people take my feelings personally. I get and appreciate the concern, but unless you see me physically harming myself, which isn't happening right now, then calm down and let me do my thing
*Maybe I just need sleep