Stupid, stupid, stupid.
by
, 03-05-2014 at 03:53 PM (1763 Views)
I'm even stupid in my own dreams. I ruined what should have been a totally erotic dream with my own stupidity.
I was a 16th century Earl and this super-hot peasant girl came to my manor to beseech my protection, and I was too smurfing stupid to capitalise on the situation.
Seriously, she was sending out signals left right and center. All the sidelong glances, fiddling with her hair when she talked to me, saying that she'd do anything for protection. Anybody would have tumbled her, but not me, I was too smurfing moralistic.
Even my butler was saying "I'faith, m'lord, thou should'st most assuredly hit that." and I was all "Firk off, Chumley, thou'rt an asshole."
I was pissed when I woke up. I could have done whatever I wanted and harmed nobody. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I would have made a crap medieval English lord and probably died a bachelor (not even in battle, rather of dysentery) in the Wars of the Roses and had all of my lands given to my worst enemy by Edward IV.