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G13's Blag

Critics! I need you!

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by
G13
, 02-10-2011 at 11:35 AM (1843 Views)
For those of you who don't know, I am a writer. Usually I write stories for EoFF that mirror my ridiculous sense of humor, but I have a serious side. I recently thought up and wrote what I think to be an incredible story (It's even got a moral in it ).

That's where you, dear reader, come in. I need you to shatter my delusions of grandeur. I want you to read my story, now located in the Writer's Corner, and tell me everything wrong I did in it. I'll even link you here as I know most of you are lazy asses.

The Sea of Rage and the Hope

In all seriousness though, I know I have a lot of work to do before any of my writings are book-worthy but I feel like my usual viewers/readers are just patting my head anymore. I want some real critique so I don't have any misconceptions about my stories, I know my boy Wes will be on the ball with that. Basically I just want anyone who reads this to give me their honest opinion on it. Does the story stir any emotions in you? How well was it written? Did I repeat myself anywhere? Whatever you notice or feel when reading this, please, let me know. It would be greatly appreciated.
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  1. Jiro's Avatar
    You still have some redundancies. People usually conspire with other people, so "together" is a redundant word. I can go through and pick out a handful of minor faults, but I'm not good enough to critic anything bigger. The flow of the story wasn't smooth imo but I don't know why this is, perhaps I read at a varying rate

    If I pat your head it's only because I want you to keep writing. I'd get bored with nothing to read
  2. G13's Avatar
    Naw, you don't pat my head. I think I've only shown you one other serious story, all the rest is that retarded crap that we will one day make millions off of. xD

    The "head-patters" are family and (other) friends who read my stuff and who don't seem to know what constructive criticism is.

    "That's nice, have a gold star." "smurf OFF! I want you to tell me what's wrong with it!" Bitches.
  3. Yar's Avatar
    I want you to read my story, now located in the Writer's Corner, and tell me everything wrong I did in it.
    No, bebe critics tell you everything that was good and bad. I've given you my input already and yeah it was similar to Dak's. It wasn't as smooth as I think it could have been, and that threw my little ADD brain into hard times.

    But I can tell you that I know that I am not a good critic. I can only tell you how I feel, and I know there would be someone out there who would be much better at that. But ya, like Dak I want you to keep writing. If you don't want a head pat maybe a tug job will suffice?
  4. G13's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Lusty Justy
    If you don't want a head pat maybe a tug job will suffice?
    Oh lord, I wish I could rep that. xD